My Apologies

[West End Guy]

I debated if I should post this, but in the end I decided to go ahead. I’m in the latter part of my 60s. I have a wife who is a cancer survivor. But because of the disease, she is no longer capable or interested in having sex. Given all she went through, I fully understand. I don’t know how much longer I will have the desire or capability to do the tango. The flame may be flickering, but the flame has not gone out.
My wife would be devastated if she found out I dabble in the hobby. It helps to keep me sane, to cope with circumstances and to help me escape from the realities of life for a while.
The ladies I have met in the pursuit of pleasure have all been wonderful. Some really stand out. And for that I try to acknowledge the fact. But when I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t see someone that is the least bit attractive or appealing. I feel both appreciative that the ladies make me feel special but also bad that they have to endure me - at any price. For that, I apologize.

-WEG

 

[masterpoonhunter]

Well said oh fellow Pooner.
Many of us I am sure were in marriages, LTR's etc where the 'wife' decided sex was no longer needed. And we all hung on as long as we decided we should. Then, we didn't and we found sex outside the relationship.

This story has been repeated millions and millions of times and as far as I view it, it is exactly what it is. A woman who decided sex is no longer something she wants and a man who is still willing and able, who still wants to be in the game. Good for you for doing it and thank you for your heartfelt statement.

On that attractive thing though, don't sell yourself short. With honesty and obvious intelligence you have shown here, I am sure there is a good subset of women fully attracted to you. As a 'past the mid 60's' guy myself, I find us in a bit of a desirable demographic for the mature ladies out there.

Cheers and thanks for the post,
MPH

 

[g eazy]

I'm gonna be a bit more blunt than "I'm sure someone finds you attractive"... it's a business transaction. Someone is being paid to put up with it. Could they enjoy it more if you were more attractive? Perhaps (no need for ladies to come in and say they just want someone respectful and clean, etc.), but that should be of no concern to you as something out of your control. Stop apologizing for things that aren't your fault.

 

[angry anderson]

If we can dial down the maudlin, I don't think I look that bad but I feel the need to apologize to them for what I am about to do. lol. Seriously. If you think women give a shit about what you look like, take a look around. Never fails to amaze me who I see paired up.

 

[blakealridge]

I see beauty in all my clients, and I’m not lying. What makes me feel turned on is feeling safe and respected. I’m glad you’re finding some happiness in this world, and I hope it gives you some more confidence and self love too!

 

[MissingOne]

But when I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t see someone that is the least bit attractive or appealing. I feel both appreciative that the ladies make me feel special but also bad that they have to endure me - at any price. For that, I apologize.

-WEG

I'm in a similar age bracket and I certainly ain't as beautiful as I once was. Either my favourite ladies are super good actors, or they do like me. I can't think like a woman, but I do get the impression that women are less fixated on physical appearance than we men are. For that matter, as I have gotten older I have found that my choices of SPs to see are based more on their service and whether I like them as people than on physical appearance.

 

[GeeBeeP]

Never apologise for what you can't control. As a client personal hygiene is way more important than what you might consider good looks, so pay attention to that and the professional ladies will have no complaints. Looks are subjective, poor grooming and body odour are not.

 

[GeeBeeP]

In defence of the SO's out there. Some women don't simply decide that they no longer want sex. Some medical conditions make sex uncomfortable and downright painful. And women are just as prone to the same thoughts as the OP is having regarding their looks and attractiveness as they age, likely more so as they're told from a young age that looks are vital.

Age, health and god forbid chemotherapy / radiation do things to the body and the physche that make someone feel unattractive to their partners and the desire for sex gets pushed aside. The difference seems to be that all this can turn off the switch for women, but for guys that switch seems stuck open through way more.

 

[yusk198444]

I debated if I should post this, but in the end I decided to go ahead. I’m in the latter part of my 60s. I have a wife who is a cancer survivor. But because of the disease, she is no longer capable or interested in having sex. Given all she went through, I fully understand. I don’t know how much longer I will have the desire or capability to do the tango. The flame may be flickering, but the flame has not gone out.
My wife would be devastated if she found out I dabble in the hobby. It helps to keep me sane, to cope with circumstances and to help me escape from the realities of life for a while.
The ladies I have met in the pursuit of pleasure have all been wonderful. Some really stand out. And for that I try to acknowledge the fact. But when I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t see someone that is the least bit attractive or appealing. I feel both appreciative that the ladies make me feel special but also bad that they have to endure me - at any price. For that, I apologize.

-WEG

I dont know if this is going to help, but think of it in this way: monogamy has been been around for only a few centuries. Humans have practiced polygamy from the dawn of history. It keeps us sane.

 

[gndvan]

I'm in a similar age bracket and I certainly ain't as beautiful as I once was. Either my favourite ladies are super good actors, or they do like me. I can't think like a woman, but I do get the impression that women are less fixated on physical appearance than we men are. For that matter, as I have gotten older I have found that my choices of SPs to see are based more on their service and whether I like them as people than on physical appearance.

You are right. If women were fixated primarily on looks of men, as men are on looks of women, we would have gone extinct by now.

 

[West End Guy]

Thanks everyone for your input. I always practise excellent hygiene. But as they say, “you can slap lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig!” At least I don’t act like one! Cheers, everyone. You guys are the best!

 

[ThanksLadies]

Thanks everyone for your input. I always practise excellent hygiene. But as they say, “you can slap lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig!” At least I don’t act like one! Cheers, everyone. You guys are the best!

Well said oh fellow Pooner.
Many of us I am sure were in marriages, LTR's etc where the 'wife' decided sex was no longer needed. And we all hung on as long as we decided we should. Then, we didn't and we found sex outside the relationship.

This story has been repeated millions and millions of times and as far as I view it, it is exactly what it is. A woman who decided sex is no longer something she wants and a man who is still willing and able, who still wants to be in the game. Good for you for doing it and thank you for your heartfelt statement.

On that attractive thing though, don't sell yourself short. With honesty and obvious intelligence you have shown here, I am sure there is a good subset of women fully attracted to you. As a 'past the mid 60's' guy myself, I find us in a bit of a desirable demographic for the mature ladies out there.

Cheers and thanks for the post,
MPH

We are all here for our own reason but a lot of us have very similar stories....
Many of us have hung in there for one reason or another and stayed in a monogamous relationship for many years, in then end walking away is never easy. Even the second time round there is no guarantee, we all change, for our SO, I think they get the rough end of it when it comes to change later in life.
I have come to realize as you get older that life is too short to go without what we are all craving whether it’s just sex or companionship, for me it’s both.

 

[westwoody]

I look at myself in the mirror

I don't even show up in mirrors.

 

[carvesg]

I don't even show up in mirrors.

Eh Comte Drak ....Quick question about that garlic and silver problem of yours.... when you have a minute.... 🤔

 

[Corym]

Good post WEG, IMHO, we are human and have needs, good for you for recognizing your feelings and posting it.

Corym