This week two SPs asked if I had a wife or girlfriend. Does that line of questioning happen a lot? Why would they ask? Perhaps just to make friendly conversation.
Not that I mind personal questions; in fact, I tend to appreciate an SP’s conversational initiative, especially during the post-main-event afterglow.
Both times I said: “No wife. A girlfriend...sometimes.”
Then one SP also asked "Why don’t you have a wife—you seem to be a nice guy." I wasn’t sure how to answer this one, without launching into awkward explanations. So I just parried with, “It's because I love sex too much to get married.”
The truth is that I’ve just never been able to sustain a really great sex life relying on relationship sex—perhaps because my porn-fueled desires are fundamentally non-monogamous, or too many complications get in the way of carefree spontaneity, or it’s just hard for both partners in long-term relationships not to get lazy about catering to each other’s fantasies.
And now, of course, I find few women close enough to me in age to be interested have kept their erotic spark alive. Occasionally, when I go through the courtship rigmarole and finally consummate my hard-earned “freebie,” chances are I run into annoying inhibitions, clumsiness and heavy emotional expectations.
It’s just amazing how my sex life, in fact my entire joie de vivre, have perked up as a result of this hobby. Two years ago I would have considered it crazy to think that sex with a callous professional, using a condom, could pack more erotic intensity than loving intimacy with the right long-term partner.
And admittedly, my first pooning attempts were a little humiliating, sabotaged by nervousness. But now that I’m a lot more relaxed—and used to condoms—there's just something about having a lovely, sexually skilled stranger's attentions focussed on me for a joyous hour that makes my endorphins flow a lot more freely than typical "relationship sex."
And yet, I keep hearing that inner voice: Why don't you find a girlfriend? It's sad it's come to this—having to pay for sex. Only failures do that...
Not that I mind personal questions; in fact, I tend to appreciate an SP’s conversational initiative, especially during the post-main-event afterglow.
Both times I said: “No wife. A girlfriend...sometimes.”
Then one SP also asked "Why don’t you have a wife—you seem to be a nice guy." I wasn’t sure how to answer this one, without launching into awkward explanations. So I just parried with, “It's because I love sex too much to get married.”
The truth is that I’ve just never been able to sustain a really great sex life relying on relationship sex—perhaps because my porn-fueled desires are fundamentally non-monogamous, or too many complications get in the way of carefree spontaneity, or it’s just hard for both partners in long-term relationships not to get lazy about catering to each other’s fantasies.
And now, of course, I find few women close enough to me in age to be interested have kept their erotic spark alive. Occasionally, when I go through the courtship rigmarole and finally consummate my hard-earned “freebie,” chances are I run into annoying inhibitions, clumsiness and heavy emotional expectations.
It’s just amazing how my sex life, in fact my entire joie de vivre, have perked up as a result of this hobby. Two years ago I would have considered it crazy to think that sex with a callous professional, using a condom, could pack more erotic intensity than loving intimacy with the right long-term partner.
And admittedly, my first pooning attempts were a little humiliating, sabotaged by nervousness. But now that I’m a lot more relaxed—and used to condoms—there's just something about having a lovely, sexually skilled stranger's attentions focussed on me for a joyous hour that makes my endorphins flow a lot more freely than typical "relationship sex."
And yet, I keep hearing that inner voice: Why don't you find a girlfriend? It's sad it's come to this—having to pay for sex. Only failures do that...
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