To my chagrin as an active hobbyist, the service at many MPs these days actually seems to be getting worse, not better. So in the interest of preserving and protecting this wonderful pastime, let me humbly present:
MP/SP Do's And Don'ts Part 2
1) This is a biggie. If the SPs reading this take nothing else away from the list, this should be it. DO NOT BRING YOUR BOYFRIEND/HUSBAND/
BROTHER/FATHER/SON/MALE RELATIVE OF ANY KIND TO WORK. EVER.
Recently I was at an east-end MP to visit one of my all-time favourite SPs. It was around 8 pm, so it wasn't as if it was five minutes till closing and someone was there to drive her home. The masseuse's boyfriend and son were sitting outside the door in a car, watching each customer arrive and depart. After some time, they actually went inside the studio. Ladies, this is a HUGE no-no. Your male clients do NOT want to encounter nor be observed by your male relatives when arriving or leaving the studio. This is unsettling and unnerving. Probably the only thing more disturbing (and bad for business) would be a police car sitting right outside the studio. Which brings me to Rule #2...
2) DO NOT BRING YOUR POLICEMAN BOYFRIEND TO WORK. EVER.
3) DO NOT CHECK/SEND TEXT MESSAGES DURING A SESSION. This happened to me a few sessions ago--the girl actually stopped the massage to check her messages.
4) DO PUT ON RELAXING MUSIC DURING THE SESSION. Please, no talk radio and no Alanis Morissette CDs. Nothing kills the mood faster than listening to Dave Rutherford pontificate or Alanis screech about running her ex-boyfriend's balls through a blender.
5) DO NOT PARK IN THE CUSTOMER PARKING STALLS. Ladies, there are stalls reserved for clients. Do not use them. For reasons of discretion, many of us prefer to park at the back of the studio. We do not want to have to park six blocks away, or in the parking area of an adjacent business (and risk being towed away) because you are taking up the customer parking stalls at the studio.
6) DO NOT ACT LIKE THE ARRIVAL OF A CLIENT IS INTERRUPTING SOMETHING IMPORTANT, EVEN IF IT IS. The Chinese food you ordered may have just arrived, Sarah Jessica may be appearing on Oprah, you may be beating the new girl in a winner-take-all game of Yahtzee, but this is a business where clients keep the doors open. Do not treat us like we are an inconvenience. EVER.
7) DON'T GET UPSET WHEN A PROSPECTIVE CLIENT PHONES TO ASK WHO IS WORKING. If you wanted to see a particular movie, wouldn't you call ahead to the cinema to find out if it was actually playing, and at what time? There is an older SP at Studio 118 who gets infuriated should someone call to ask who is on staff that day. This is ridiculous. I, for one, live well northwest of Edmonton. I'm not going to drive all the way into the city just to discover the SP I wanted to see is off sick, isn't working or is on vacation.
8) LOSE THE BITCHY ATTITUDE. Clients are paying good money for a session with an SP. We expect to be treated with some level of friendliness, warmth and respect. Bitchiness or open hostility gets an SP nowhere. If you are a gorgeous hotel heiress/socialite, we will probably overlook the bitchiness and view it as part of your charm. But we won't put up with being treated like crap by other women--especially not women we're paying to spend time with.
9) TURN OFF THE $#@% CAMERAS AT THE DOOR. I know thefts occasionally happen, as does vandalism such as Revive recently experienced. However, the vast majority of us are law-abiding clients who insist on discretion. We do not want our faces on tape just because of a few bad apples. This doesn't mean we have ill intent, it simply means we would prefer to keep our hobby secret from our neighbours, employers, etc. Look at it this way: most air travelers aren't terrorists. Yet how many of us would be willing to strip naked or down to our underwear in the security line? There is a limit to what the law-abiding are willing to tolerate in the name of "security."
10) SHAVE. OR DON'T. BUT CHOOSE! There are some SPs, younger ones in partcular, who seem to have some confusion over what is expected of them in terms of hygiene. If you wish to shave your hair "down there", great. If not, that's got appeal too. But DON'T shave, then let the hair grow out for several days, then shave, then let it grow for a few days...this is uncomfortable, unkempt and unappealing. Ladies, we are paying for your time. We expect that you will make an effort to maintain good personal hygiene (as should all clients). I don't care if my mechanic shaves or bathes or what he does with his body, but when I'm getting up close and personal with an SP, I shouldn't have to encounter B.O. and long stubble.
11) LOSE THE RICKETY TABLES. Kudos to Alyson for the awesome two- (and three-) person beds at Temptations. They're comfortable, spacious and withstand energetic sessions. I'm tired of visiting "fancy" studios complete with expensive artwork and potpourri only to struggle with a rickety, narrow massage table in the room. I want to enjoy a session. I don't want to feel like the table is one vigorous thrust away from crashing to the floor.
12) THIS IS A FANTASY. DEAL WITH IT. We are paying clients. We are under no illusions the SP is in "love" with us or would do a session for free because we are so sexy and irresistible. This is a business. We know that. However, as paying clients we do expect something for our money that we wouldn't ordinarily get from the rest of the women on the planet...the right to be candid. If I told the girl at work with the 44DDs that they get me all hot and bothered and I want to ____ all over them, I would expect to get fired. But when I am paying for a session with an SP, I should be able to say something like that and not have her take offense. Now, this doesn't mean a client should be able to treat an SP with disrespect, and I would hope (and expect) that if a client crosses a line and makes comments that invade an SP's personal life (about her daughter, say) or utters threats, that the SP would end the session immediately and ask the client to leave. But the reason a session at an MP costs so much more than a session at a regular massage studio is because the client is expected to be able to express himself and share his fantasies. I was in a session awhile ago with a SP in which she saw me right after seeing another client. I mentioned that it turned me on that she had just been with another client and was now getting up-close-and-personal with me. (a fairly innocuous comment) The SP proceeded to get extremely upset and reproach me, "That's really weird and twisted." I'm sorry, a girl like that is in the wrong line of work. This business is about acting on intimate fantasies, which we are willing to pay good money for. Please understand that.
MP/SP Do's And Don'ts Part 2
1) This is a biggie. If the SPs reading this take nothing else away from the list, this should be it. DO NOT BRING YOUR BOYFRIEND/HUSBAND/
BROTHER/FATHER/SON/MALE RELATIVE OF ANY KIND TO WORK. EVER.
Recently I was at an east-end MP to visit one of my all-time favourite SPs. It was around 8 pm, so it wasn't as if it was five minutes till closing and someone was there to drive her home. The masseuse's boyfriend and son were sitting outside the door in a car, watching each customer arrive and depart. After some time, they actually went inside the studio. Ladies, this is a HUGE no-no. Your male clients do NOT want to encounter nor be observed by your male relatives when arriving or leaving the studio. This is unsettling and unnerving. Probably the only thing more disturbing (and bad for business) would be a police car sitting right outside the studio. Which brings me to Rule #2...
2) DO NOT BRING YOUR POLICEMAN BOYFRIEND TO WORK. EVER.
3) DO NOT CHECK/SEND TEXT MESSAGES DURING A SESSION. This happened to me a few sessions ago--the girl actually stopped the massage to check her messages.
4) DO PUT ON RELAXING MUSIC DURING THE SESSION. Please, no talk radio and no Alanis Morissette CDs. Nothing kills the mood faster than listening to Dave Rutherford pontificate or Alanis screech about running her ex-boyfriend's balls through a blender.
5) DO NOT PARK IN THE CUSTOMER PARKING STALLS. Ladies, there are stalls reserved for clients. Do not use them. For reasons of discretion, many of us prefer to park at the back of the studio. We do not want to have to park six blocks away, or in the parking area of an adjacent business (and risk being towed away) because you are taking up the customer parking stalls at the studio.
6) DO NOT ACT LIKE THE ARRIVAL OF A CLIENT IS INTERRUPTING SOMETHING IMPORTANT, EVEN IF IT IS. The Chinese food you ordered may have just arrived, Sarah Jessica may be appearing on Oprah, you may be beating the new girl in a winner-take-all game of Yahtzee, but this is a business where clients keep the doors open. Do not treat us like we are an inconvenience. EVER.
7) DON'T GET UPSET WHEN A PROSPECTIVE CLIENT PHONES TO ASK WHO IS WORKING. If you wanted to see a particular movie, wouldn't you call ahead to the cinema to find out if it was actually playing, and at what time? There is an older SP at Studio 118 who gets infuriated should someone call to ask who is on staff that day. This is ridiculous. I, for one, live well northwest of Edmonton. I'm not going to drive all the way into the city just to discover the SP I wanted to see is off sick, isn't working or is on vacation.
8) LOSE THE BITCHY ATTITUDE. Clients are paying good money for a session with an SP. We expect to be treated with some level of friendliness, warmth and respect. Bitchiness or open hostility gets an SP nowhere. If you are a gorgeous hotel heiress/socialite, we will probably overlook the bitchiness and view it as part of your charm. But we won't put up with being treated like crap by other women--especially not women we're paying to spend time with.
9) TURN OFF THE $#@% CAMERAS AT THE DOOR. I know thefts occasionally happen, as does vandalism such as Revive recently experienced. However, the vast majority of us are law-abiding clients who insist on discretion. We do not want our faces on tape just because of a few bad apples. This doesn't mean we have ill intent, it simply means we would prefer to keep our hobby secret from our neighbours, employers, etc. Look at it this way: most air travelers aren't terrorists. Yet how many of us would be willing to strip naked or down to our underwear in the security line? There is a limit to what the law-abiding are willing to tolerate in the name of "security."
10) SHAVE. OR DON'T. BUT CHOOSE! There are some SPs, younger ones in partcular, who seem to have some confusion over what is expected of them in terms of hygiene. If you wish to shave your hair "down there", great. If not, that's got appeal too. But DON'T shave, then let the hair grow out for several days, then shave, then let it grow for a few days...this is uncomfortable, unkempt and unappealing. Ladies, we are paying for your time. We expect that you will make an effort to maintain good personal hygiene (as should all clients). I don't care if my mechanic shaves or bathes or what he does with his body, but when I'm getting up close and personal with an SP, I shouldn't have to encounter B.O. and long stubble.
11) LOSE THE RICKETY TABLES. Kudos to Alyson for the awesome two- (and three-) person beds at Temptations. They're comfortable, spacious and withstand energetic sessions. I'm tired of visiting "fancy" studios complete with expensive artwork and potpourri only to struggle with a rickety, narrow massage table in the room. I want to enjoy a session. I don't want to feel like the table is one vigorous thrust away from crashing to the floor.
12) THIS IS A FANTASY. DEAL WITH IT. We are paying clients. We are under no illusions the SP is in "love" with us or would do a session for free because we are so sexy and irresistible. This is a business. We know that. However, as paying clients we do expect something for our money that we wouldn't ordinarily get from the rest of the women on the planet...the right to be candid. If I told the girl at work with the 44DDs that they get me all hot and bothered and I want to ____ all over them, I would expect to get fired. But when I am paying for a session with an SP, I should be able to say something like that and not have her take offense. Now, this doesn't mean a client should be able to treat an SP with disrespect, and I would hope (and expect) that if a client crosses a line and makes comments that invade an SP's personal life (about her daughter, say) or utters threats, that the SP would end the session immediately and ask the client to leave. But the reason a session at an MP costs so much more than a session at a regular massage studio is because the client is expected to be able to express himself and share his fantasies. I was in a session awhile ago with a SP in which she saw me right after seeing another client. I mentioned that it turned me on that she had just been with another client and was now getting up-close-and-personal with me. (a fairly innocuous comment) The SP proceeded to get extremely upset and reproach me, "That's really weird and twisted." I'm sorry, a girl like that is in the wrong line of work. This business is about acting on intimate fantasies, which we are willing to pay good money for. Please understand that.
