Moving away and starting over

[SexualHealing]

Has anyone here ever just picked up and started over?

I’ve lived in the Vancouver area my whole life. I’m at a point that I am really just burnt out by life and need a change. My family and social relations are very weak and limited, aside for my relationship with my mom. I’ve been through some rough experiences and the past 5-6 years have been mostly depressing and dark.

I don’t really place much value in the life I have. I’m not too excited for what the remainder of my life has to offer, but I probably have 30-40 years left to live, so I just want to make it as peaceful and stress free as I can. I want to ride out my remaining years the best that I can. Maybe a fresh start and new environment is something I need.

One place I had in mind was Ottawa. Somewhere that is still a city, but it doesn’t have to be as big and busy as Vancouver. Also, I’m sure any other city in Canada would be much more affordable. Maybe Victoria as well. I would probably say no to Toronto, Calgary or Edmonton.

I don’t know the logistics of trying to live in another country. Not sure how doable that option would be for myself.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

 

[angry anderson]

To paraphrase Samuel Johnson "a man who is tired of Vancouver is tired of life"
Seeing as you only have 30- 40 years to live and all....time is running out.
I picked up and moved to Toronto when I was young. Literally a 5 minute decision and I was on the road. That decision sort of sucked ass, though it got me out of one rut into another. Well same rut. Different place.
Ottawa sort of sucks ass . Shitty winters followed by shitty summers. Victoria is like Sunday afternoon. Every day.
The world is your oyster.

 

[g eazy]

Has anyone here ever just picked up and started over?

I’ve lived in the Vancouver area my whole life. I’m at a point that I am really just burnt out by life and need a change. My family and social relations are very weak and limited, aside for my relationship with my mom. I’ve been through some rough experiences and the past 5-6 years have been mostly depressing and dark.

I don’t really place much value in the life I have. I’m not too excited for what the remainder of my life has to offer, but I probably have 30-40 years left to live, so I just want to make it as peaceful and stress free as I can. I want to ride out my remaining years the best that I can. Maybe a fresh start and new environment is something I need.

One place I had in mind was Ottawa. Somewhere that is still a city, but it doesn’t have to be as big and busy as Vancouver. Also, I’m sure any other city in Canada would be much more affordable. Maybe Victoria as well. I would probably say no to Toronto, Calgary or Edmonton.

I don’t know the logistics of trying to live in another country. Not sure how doable that option would be for myself.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

It doesn't sound like you've found exactly what you want to change yet, besides the fact that you just want change. Moving will help immensely with facilitating change in other parts of your life, but you need to identify what those things are first, otherwise you may replace one problem with another or nothing may actually change.

In today's day and age, moving cities isn't all that difficult. If this move is as important as you make it sound like, I'd encourage you to explore other countries as well.

 

[SexualHealing]

It doesn't sound like you've found exactly what you want to change yet, besides the fact that you just want change. Moving will help immensely with facilitating change in other parts of your life, but you need to identify what those things are first, otherwise you may replace one problem with another or nothing may actually change.

In today's day and age, moving cities isn't all that difficult. If this move is as important as you make it sound like, I'd encourage you to explore other countries as well.

My life is a mess, and I do realize that moving might just put me in another city where I am just as unhappy. The one thing I would like to change the most about my life is connecting with other people that affect my life in a positive way. I think connection with people is the main thing in life that I am missing. Also, economically, other cities would put less stress on finances as well in terms of cost of living.

Are there any other countries that would be easy to move to and live for a Canadian? I do have an old friend who is Australian that I could try to reach out to. I have some relatives in the US, but I'm not sure how easy it is to try to live and work there.

 

[g eazy]

Other Commonwealth countries are probably easiest if you're looking into moving countries. In this case you may want to look into the culture of each of the respective cities/countries. Vancouver gets a bad rap for being cold/stuck up... perhaps it's warranted (ignore my 'pretentious douche' flair).

Have you considered moving within Vancouver? All the different neighbourhoods have different cliques, it may be easier to connect with people in different neighbourhoods and immersing yourself in activities that you can bond with people over. If I have to be honest though, your age probably matters. People with kids are likely tied up - that isn't to say you can't mingle with younger or older crowds, just that you may find less in common with them ('how do you do fellow kids?').

 

[westwoody]

Ottawa is really nice, my sister lives there.
Very clean - much cleaner than Vancouver - no dirty industries, high standard of living.

Moving to a new country is not easy unless you are a doctor or nurse.

I had to pack up and leave once to get away from a very bad social environment. No matter where you live your quality of life is mostly based on your social circle. You may be fine staying in Van if you move across town and dump the people that are dragging you down.

 

[RalphiEboy]

Has anyone here ever just picked up and started over?

I’ve lived in the Vancouver area my whole life. I’m at a point that I am really just burnt out by life and need a change. My family and social relations are very weak and limited, aside for my relationship with my mom. I’ve been through some rough experiences and the past 5-6 years have been mostly depressing and dark.

I don’t really place much value in the life I have. I’m not too excited for what the remainder of my life has to offer, but I probably have 30-40 years left to live, so I just want to make it as peaceful and stress free as I can. I want to ride out my remaining years the best that I can. Maybe a fresh start and new environment is something I need.

One place I had in mind was Ottawa. Somewhere that is still a city, but it doesn’t have to be as big and busy as Vancouver. Also, I’m sure any other city in Canada would be much more affordable. Maybe Victoria as well. I would probably say no to Toronto, Calgary or Edmonton.

I don’t know the logistics of trying to live in another country. Not sure how doable that option would be for myself.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

Victoria is lovely 🥰 weather

 

[angry anderson]

When I left Toronto for Vancouver people there told me nothing would change for me. It was just an excuse to run away from my problems. Geographical fixes don't really fix. They were wrong. I got away from small number of assholes who were my circle of friends.
I tried to commit to staying in Toronto for another year. Until I felt like I was going to die of boredom. Made a fresh start. Enjoyed everything about Vancouver.
So packing up and moving here was the best decision of my life.

 

[Buddyguy66]

Matter if fact moved from 58 years on the prairies to Victoria almost one year ago. My main motivator...to live near the ocean, all the places to explore the island had to offer. Its worked out generally better than expected, in a few ways hasnt met my expectation but thats on the relationship side. Its been kind of lonely..but thats covid and..my introvert leaning nature. But all in all glad I did it. Decided in early August, packed my truck, sold everything else and landed sept 5th. ZER0 regrets.

I have and still do look into other countries to retire cheap but it takes a good deal of planning, especially when it comes to taxes, how you secure your finances. I'm not wealthy and would have to feel that side would be ok. Thailand while many say is wonderful, holds zero interest for me. Australia very expensive. Italy, Panama, Costa Rica, Paraguay are attractive but could be a challenge with the tumult in Europe especially with Brexit. So then there's Mexico. Would probably be the most "friendly" option, fellow Canadians but you basically need the money to buy a property and lifestyle and unless you change citizenship, need someplace to come back to for 6 months.

 

[Bridge]

I feel it is better to make a move if you have a job lined up or business lined up and have done some research into the area. Perhaps start with day trips and mini-breaks and as you get more comfortable make a more permanent move. I lived in New Zealand for a few years and found it a great place to live and work.

 

[MB Mod]

Before you make any Internatioal moves I’d suggest moving to a smaller town in the BC interior. I find a completely different attitude in the people there compared to Vancouver.

 

[angry anderson]

Before you make any Internatioal moves I’d suggest moving to a smaller town in the BC interior. I find a completely different attitude in the people there compared to Vancouver.

Just find somewhere that isn't on fire.

 

[masterpoonhunter]

It's nice that some of the forum members are bringing their existential crises to the perbites here. Here we have a young fella burnt out from being in Vancouver. Another thread we had a guy tired of making 300-500 grand a year. I can't recall exactly but we have had various iterations of a "woe is me" plea for help. All so endearing that the sense of community is so strong that these well meaning fellow members feel they can ask the forum for advice.

But it is a forum. On the internet. Of strangers. Who are here to share their pooning tales and to look for more poon tang. I don't know about you folks but if I am having a meltdown I think I would be googling for counsellors instead of coming here to ask for advice.

 

[RalphiEboy]

Has anyone here ever just picked up and started over?

I’ve lived in the Vancouver area my whole life. I’m at a point that I am really just burnt out by life and need a change. My family and social relations are very weak and limited, aside for my relationship with my mom. I’ve been through some rough experiences and the past 5-6 years have been mostly depressing and dark.

I don’t really place much value in the life I have. I’m not too excited for what the remainder of my life has to offer, but I probably have 30-40 years left to live, so I just want to make it as peaceful and stress free as I can. I want to ride out my remaining years the best that I can. Maybe a fresh start and new environment is something I need.

One place I had in mind was Ottawa. Somewhere that is still a city, but it doesn’t have to be as big and busy as Vancouver. Also, I’m sure any other city in Canada would be much more affordable. Maybe Victoria as well. I would probably say no to Toronto, Calgary or Edmonton.

I don’t know the logistics of trying to live in another country. Not sure how doable that option would be for myself.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

Stay within a day trip of your mom.

 

[nwtl]

A geographical change inevitably leads to a change of your social circle. But often, it is the social circle, or your own habits, personality, mentality or behaviours that dictate whom you attract or get attracted to, in creating a social circle. So while (a change of) the environment is a good precursor, it may not be the (only) culprit.

 

[AMG-GTR]

I am not sure what your current issues are however unless it’s specifically to do with city life vs country life - being in a quiet place - or affordability - moving is unlikely to help.

Moving may provide you with some temporary relief however your current state of emotion is likely to follow you until you uncover and resolve the internal issue(s) you are grappling with.


I don’t know your situation so this may or may not be relevant. I’m saying this based on a lot of people have have moved both to and from Vancouver and have been surprised at how the new place sucks just as much as the old place.

 

[badbadboy]

Ottawa is a nice town that doesn’t have the insane traffic you’d get in Toronto or Vancouver. I used to work there a week per month out of furnished apartment close to downtown. Good social scene and they’re very supportive of new people since most professionals are also new too. Love their Sens too so be prepared for Canuck baiting.

Cons: insane amount of snow and it gets very deep as winter grinds on. Leave your car on the street and you may find four feet of snow plowed around it. With the cold and snow you’ll have to carve out $ for all the winter clothes required. It adds up!

Summers are nice but like Montreal and Toronto the humidity is intense and three showers a day Ito keep your sanity.

Montreal is 90 min away by car and Toronto is 3-4 hours. Used to be a good train service to Toronto years ago but I’m not sure if it’s still running.

AMR-GTR said it first that the new place may suck as much as the old. True as far as I’m concerned having lived in Calgary twice. That’s a tough city to make friends in unless you are outgoing and looking to make friends. I was there for work and had little socializing outside of a few coworkers.

If it were me, I’d go to the place for a couple weeks to get the vibe of the city. It would really suck if the new place was worse than home.

 

[Uncled]

It's nice that some of the forum members are bringing their existential crises to the perbites here. Here we have a young fella burnt out from being in Vancouver. Another thread we had a guy tired of making 300-500 grand a year. I can't recall exactly but we have had various iterations of a "woe is me" plea for help.

All we need now is some guy complaining that his dick is too big.

 

[RalphiEboy]

All we need now is some guy complaining that his dick is too big.

There are those that have that problem…

 

[sybian]

Before you make any Internatioal moves I’d suggest moving to a smaller town in the BC interior. I find a completely different attitude in the people there compared to Vancouver.

There is a mass exodus from large urban places to the Interior right now….if your looking for a smaller piece of land under 100 acres, there’s almost nothing available.
Having said that, you can sell your lower mainland house, buy a piece of real land with a nice farmhouse, pocket same money, or spend it on improvements…..and have neighbours that’ll help you out when your in a bind, and actually give a shit about your well being.
Just make sure you have ample water, and a fire proof tin roof with mounted sprinklers.