Message Board Etiquette

[sanityclause51]

Message boards are vehicles of communication. Respectful communication, on a message board, involves reading, getting clarification and achieving understandings from what is read (i.e.: communication is 80% listening). When the reader is certain they have achieved a deep understanding, then writing ones own views, in context, is valuable and welcomed, as it aids in the achievement of deeper understandings for all.

Message boards depend upon these protocols, decorum and conventions of communication to function in a reasonable manner. When these conventions are abused or ignored, not only does reasonable communication fail, the message board suffers as well.

Some have said that my original post/thread inviting Escorts and Service Providers to a Mystery Guest Dinner was hijacked. I noticed that on Wednesday September 8th, the entire thread's subject and purpose was altered by several frequent, multiple and rapid consecutive posts that clearly went beyond reasonable and respectful message board communication. Instead of an exchange of insights and information, the thread plunged into a ranting, sarcastic attack and “debate”. So to avoid the trap, I simply smiled and moved on, setting up a new thread, restating the purpose and intent of my original thread.

Sadly, as many of you know, disrespectful communication happens everywhere in our daily life… (that's why there are so many courses on the subject available to those who lack the skills to get along with other people). Equally as sad, disrespectful communication happens here on PERB all too often; this threatens PERB’s viability and usefulness to us all (as it has threatened and eventually collapsed other boards no longer in existence).

Would it be more to our mutual advantage if we showed each other deeper respect when we choose to communicate with each other in this forum?

SC

 

[sanityclause51]

Further evidence of the unrelenting nature of the poor and disrespectful communication I am referring to can be viewed currently in the new thread (the post has since been deleted), posted there by those whose efforts corrupted the previous thread.

This behavior clearly demonstrates their intent and attitude about others and why the longevity of respectful communication on this board may be in jeopardy.


SC

 

[Cosmo]

Further evidence of the unrelenting nature of the poor and disrespectful communication I am referring to can be viewed currently in the new thread

At first I thought that is was just spaceghost jerking Brooklyn's chain. But she jumped into the new thread without any prompting from him.

 

[fun-time-guy]

Unfortunately, respect and other social courtesies are easily disregarded when people hide behind the anonymity of the internet.

The upside is that those of us who value such things can see above it all. I am not putting myself on some kind of etiquette pedestal or anything, just trying to point out that you can choose to take the high road or............... Not just here on PERB but everywhere in life.

Saintyclause, you have done a marvelous job of trying to get your invitation out there. Those that are open to it have most likely noticed and contacted you. When it comes to your event, after all the dust has settled you and your guests -including the chosen SP - will have had a great time and the SP will have made a few contacts. As for those who wish to hijack threads, etc..... go to it - you must have more time on your hands than I do. As for the SPs that take these issues on, I think that PERB provides a great forum for them to do so. Hopefully the root of their comments is a genuine concern for others in their industry.

As for my PERB outlook........POST YOUR PIECE AND THEN MOVE ON.

 

[sanityclause51]

Spaceghost is just a chain jerker. We grow used to it.

Dismissive and judgemental comments about another person often indicate self worth issues about oneself.

There you go Mr. Claus - I deleted it. Although I thought it was eloquently written. And it was in response to the comment that girls were feeling this is a 'threat' to business.

Thank you for deleting a copy of your post from the other thread. The duplicated efforts on your part seemed to be a unnecessary and provacative act of communicated aggression.

As for my other posts - none of them are highly emotional - nor rude. Just my standard cynical writing style. And it echoes the sentiments of a thought process - most humans possess them.

Dictionary

cyn·i·cism ( P ) Pronunciation Key (sn-szm)
n.
(i) An attitude of scornful or jaded negativity, especially a general distrust of the integrity or professed motives of others
(ii) A scornfully or jadedly negative comment or act

I chose to communicate without using cynicism. This human chooses not to be possessed by negative, distrustful or jaded behaviors. Sorry to hear about you.

Furthermore, you could have easily retorted any thoughts, or posts that alluded an opinion that you disagreed. But no one said much of anything.

re·tort1 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (r-tôrt)
v. re·tort·ed, re·tort·ing, re·torts
v. tr.

(i) To reply, especially to answer in a quick, caustic, or witty manner.
(ii) To present a counterargument to.
(iii) To return in kind; pay back.

I choose not to use this type of communication either. Caustic counterarguments with the motive to return in kind or pay back are abusive in content and disrespectful in nature. Sorry to hear you expect that from anyone.


SC

 

[sanityclause51]

Re: Actually

Sanity, whom I am sure is a great guy - along with the rest of his party - all being great people, I am sure had posted that he was surprised at the lack of response and that surely more ladies were 'interested' - thus I gave a different perspective as to why some ladies may take a situation like this in a negative light.

If you can find any comment of mine and quote it here (referencing the location and place of the comment) that I said there had been a "lack of response" I would be truly enlightened.

The fact is that several (double digits) ladies have responded favourably to this idea and are happy to participate.

Communication is flawed miserably when listening (or reading) is shortchanged.

SC

 

[sanityclause51]

The comment about Spaceghost is one I make to him - it's a joke. A sarcastic barb. And he knows it - I doubt he's going to have much more of a reaction than a half-cocked smile.

My comment was not intended to defend SpageGhost. It was simply to draw attention to your use of language about other people in the context of this thread.

I know what cynical means. Eek? I am very dry, and I am very cynical in my approach to life. No denying it. But I tend to have some pretty intriguing discussions as a result - and some great writing material for future endevours.

Arguments and debates are not respectful discussions because they assert and emphasize the "I am right" attitude using force of comment to subdue others in the discussion.

And as for all of your other comments toward/about me - I'll take them as what I do on most of these message boards. Not very seriously. It's a message board. It's not real life.

This message board is an important piece in promoting the real life businesses of many Escorts and Service Providers on the Pacific Coast amounting to hundreds of thousands of dollars per year. If that's not real life, what is?

Now, in closing - I'm sorry if I offended you as a person in any way - I was simply offering a perspective - and there were many of them duely noted.

An apology, followed by a justification, is not an apology.

SC

 

[OTR2]

An apoligy followed by a justification is not an apoligy.

SC

In addition to being a guide for definitions and pronunciation, a dictionary also helps with spelling.

 

[sanityclause51]

a·pol·o·gy ( P ) Pronunciation Key (-pl-j)
n. pl. a·pol·o·gies
An acknowledgment expressing regret or asking pardon for a fault or offense.

Thank you OTR2. I have edited the spelling. I try.. and I'll try harder next time.

SC

 

[OTR2]

Glad you took that in the spirit in which it was intended SC51, us guys with numbers in our names have to stick together. Best of luck with your dinner.

 

[sanityclause51]

Thank you again OTR2 (by the way, what happened to OTR1)

 

[OTR2]

I'm the upgrade. Hey, the thing about guys like you and me, you know the girls "do digits"!

 

[Massagegirl]

This happens to every thread, don`t be offended. I`m glad we kept putting this at the top of the list, it needed some debate.

I am just posting to show you what has happened to me in the past when I started a thread on something I was enthused about.

The first thread on Atkins is gone apparently, I didn`t notice when. I announced I was going to start the diet, and needed moral support. Instead I got everyone reciting what they knew about dieting, and insisting their way was right.

So I started a second thread directing everyone who disagreed with Atkins to the first thread as I wanted support, more than opinions. Notice the disclaimer at the beginning of the first post --> Second thread I still had no less than 3 people go to my new thread debating with me still, but I didn`t mind because it`s a mesage board in a free country. I actually had a fun time getting my point across to Jodie, and we all got to know each other better.

To figure out where everyone stood statistically, I then did a poll, with as many options as I could think of -->Poll which gave everyone a clear view and helped me understand that I was supported, statistically, and to each their own.

To sum up my point, just because people argue doesn`t mean they are slamming you. This method of debate often produces the best product in the end. Maybe the SP will be remunerated better then when your offer started? Maybe extra steps will be taken so everyone gets a piece of her time? Who knows, but everything happens for a reason! I have no doubt it wil go ahead the way you want it, as my diet plans did. In the end it will be better as we were your free test group SC. It`s ALL good, don`t allow yourself to become disheartened!

 

[sanityclause51]

Dear Massagegirl,

Thank you for your response.

I am not disheartened. My comments in this thread only seek to bring us more towards respectful communication.

I was one of the people who relied to your Atkins thread and told you I found it to be a good weight management program for me. To date I have lost 50 lbs, (my wife lost 20 and reached her goal weight) and I have 60 lbs to go which I will accomplish by spring next year.

After I posted this thread about board etiquette, I noticed Mr Methos's Newbie thread... the part that deals with manners on the board squares with the comments I have made in this thread.

SC

 

[Massagegirl]

Wow, 50 pounds, right on! I am starting it again tomorrow now that my balcony is fixed and I can BBQ again! It's too easy! I think I'll start with a rack of lamb! Yum! What vegies go with lamb? Just kidding, I don't mean to hijack this! Peace out!

 

[sanityclause51]

Actually Massagegirl, why dont you start another thread on Atkins... I'll contribute to it....

SC

 

[Tahoe Ted]

No, SC didn't ask that Brooklyn be banned from TRB. I doubt that he was even aware that she was a registered member.

Brooklyn has left TRB twice voluntarily for personal reasons (I assume that some of you know those reasons) and each time she asked that we remove all posts, reviews, profiles, links, everything. With our software it's a pain in the ass to do this....it's a manual process that takes a lot of time, but we complied with her request each time.

Our policy has always been that if someone leaves our board and requests that everything be removed then they are gone for good...no returning later to start all over again.

Brooklyn knew of our policy, but despite that she recently registered for a third time on our board. I've met Brooklyn in person before and I like her, so I allowed her to return with the understanding that NOTHING would be deleted ever again no matter what happened in her personal or business life....she agreed, but since registering hadn't made any posts on our board. As far as I know she no longer tours Seattle.

Reading her comments on PERB reminded me of my opinion of her the last time she left our board....that she takes a selfish approach to things and uses our board only when it suits her. She's on the board, she's off the board, she's back, she's off, she's back....TRB ownership is expected to stand by for the next time the wind changes direction.

She was afforded a privilege that no other provider or hobbyist has ever been afforded in the 3.5 years TRB has been online. I decided that I allowed my favorable opinion of Brooklyn to override TRB's long standing policy which wasn't fair to the other people that were told they couldn't return, so I simply deleted her account, that's it, that's all. No need to remove anything from our board because it had all been removed months ago at her request.

 

[Tahoe Ted]

Sorry Brooklyn...

But you've obviously forgotten a couple of promises you made to me the last time you left TRB, they were actually your ideas, and then I never heard from you again. People that are selfish/self-centered tend to have memory problems, they forget what they said, forget what they promised, it's not usual.

Sanity found out that your account had been deleted on TRB because I mentioned it to him when I suggested that in the future these sorts of parties would probably be best arranged by private e-mail, that's what we've always done in Seattle. We contact the ladies and gents in private, have a great time, and no mention of the party ever hits TRB before or after.

Anyways, not a big deal....I'm sure the folks on PERB don't care how we run TRB, God knows you guys have had your own problems (mass bannings, Mods fired, people outed, PA meetings canceled, well known hobbyists and providers leaving the board) to worry about over the past few months.

Let me know when you're in Seattle again, I'll buy you a beer, I promise...

 

[Massagegirl]

What the Hey?

Originally posted by Tahoe Ted
People that are selfish/self-centered tend to have memory problems, they forget what they said, forget what they promised, it's not usual.

Let me know when you're in Seattle again, I'll buy you a beer, I promise...

Those 2 sentences don't make sense TT, if she's so selfish why would you want to go for a beer? How do you know she won't forget if she has such a memory problem that "all selfish people have"?

Sanity found out that your account had been deleted on TRB because I mentioned it to him.

That seems kinda weird, don't you think? Isn't there some kind of privacy thing, that prohibits you telling others about members on your board? Why did SC need to know that, what does it have to do with HIS issues? But you probably meant it harmlessly and didn't think he would use it against Brooke. Thanks for straightening it out, about how it was her 3rd time signing up, and not her views that got her banned from trb.

Her view btw, is that it is not a good "marketing opportunity" for an SP, which so far, not one person is willing to come forward and say it is! By all means go ahead is you find someone willing to go but don't lie about it being a "marketing opportunity".

Also shouldn't SC get a warning to not solicit his business offers on here, just like Vancouver Derek got when he offered a photo opportunity? That, I call (with a french accent) the "piece de resistance"!

 

[Massagegirl]

Re: Re: What the Hey?

Good Point! about derek Massagegirl.... also wasnt Logan the male SP reprimanded for perhaps advertising with his post about visiting Vancouver?

Cat

I get it now, thanks Cat. And thanks for providing Logans name, I was going to include it but couldn't remember his name.