i don't understand why people don't realize or examine there own mental health
you have a sore foot that won't go away, you see a doctor.
your into bad behaviour destructive behaviour or your train of thoughts is very just morbid or depressing or not getting you any where in life.
change it seek help if you need it
i dont know, when i was younger i was very much alone
alone as pretty much a human being can be in a city of a million people
i don't know but something inside me told me it wasn't right to be this way. i was thinking of suicide.
but i battled through it.
when i was a young adult, i was havign panic attacks i couldn't talk to any one i couldn't hold a conversation with out running away.
the job that i have now, i would hide from people
i mean literally hid from people so i never had to see any one or talk to them.
something told me, it wasn't right i struggled
it took years
but would you believe right at this moment i am the most social person in our company
i talk to everyone and everyone knows me
from the ceo to the security guard at the front desk to the person the lady that cleans the toilets out at night when we all go home.
everyone knows me, and i try and have a friendly smile and a word for everyone
and i try to be on even terms with everyone from the ceo to the person that cleans the toilets were all equal in my eyes.
i started this hobby,
because me and my wife werent having sex any more,
but i still needed to feel my sexuality. i wasn't ready to quit
i found i was way to way miserable and not fit for human companionship when i went with out some sort of sexual experiance.
i was bringing everyone down with me.
this hobby is not perfect,
but there are women out there who would let me desire them and have sex with them,
and i could still keep my marriage and family and kids all happy.
it seemed the right choice to make
still does.
i don't know what im trying to say.
but there is some one i know thinking morbid thoughts of death and dying and sending or leaving pictures of dead animals around.\
he also has crossed the boundiaries of what is acceptable behaviour in other areas of people,s personal life as well.
i guess im trying to reach out to him and maybe others
with my own life story,
im here ok, and i was so fucked up and messed up at times in my life, that i literlly could not look some one in the eyes and have a conversation with them\
and they saw something in me to that scared them or turned them off.
all im trying to say is you can turn it around.
i have, its not easy
it takes fucking years,
it takes fucking years and years
if your out there and read this
don't do anything stupid
everyone can have a happy life, ok,
and im not saying this for anyone to feel sorry for me, \
or to have any sp see me or feel sorry for me
so i can see her.
im seeing someone and im happy.
and at some point well im going to try and put this hobby behind me.
not sure when
i just want people to know you can change the way you think, \you can change your behaviour
you can turn your life around and make it into whatever you want it to be,
i have,
and im not finished yet,
its a life long process
and im out of here for awhile
a few weeks,\
take care be safe people's
you have a sore foot that won't go away, you see a doctor.
your into bad behaviour destructive behaviour or your train of thoughts is very just morbid or depressing or not getting you any where in life.
change it seek help if you need it
i dont know, when i was younger i was very much alone
alone as pretty much a human being can be in a city of a million people
i don't know but something inside me told me it wasn't right to be this way. i was thinking of suicide.
but i battled through it.
when i was a young adult, i was havign panic attacks i couldn't talk to any one i couldn't hold a conversation with out running away.
the job that i have now, i would hide from people
i mean literally hid from people so i never had to see any one or talk to them.
something told me, it wasn't right i struggled
it took years
but would you believe right at this moment i am the most social person in our company
i talk to everyone and everyone knows me
from the ceo to the security guard at the front desk to the person the lady that cleans the toilets out at night when we all go home.
everyone knows me, and i try and have a friendly smile and a word for everyone
and i try to be on even terms with everyone from the ceo to the person that cleans the toilets were all equal in my eyes.
i started this hobby,
because me and my wife werent having sex any more,
but i still needed to feel my sexuality. i wasn't ready to quit
i found i was way to way miserable and not fit for human companionship when i went with out some sort of sexual experiance.
i was bringing everyone down with me.
this hobby is not perfect,
but there are women out there who would let me desire them and have sex with them,
and i could still keep my marriage and family and kids all happy.
it seemed the right choice to make
still does.
i don't know what im trying to say.
but there is some one i know thinking morbid thoughts of death and dying and sending or leaving pictures of dead animals around.\
he also has crossed the boundiaries of what is acceptable behaviour in other areas of people,s personal life as well.
i guess im trying to reach out to him and maybe others
with my own life story,
im here ok, and i was so fucked up and messed up at times in my life, that i literlly could not look some one in the eyes and have a conversation with them\
and they saw something in me to that scared them or turned them off.
all im trying to say is you can turn it around.
i have, its not easy
it takes fucking years,
it takes fucking years and years
if your out there and read this
don't do anything stupid
everyone can have a happy life, ok,
and im not saying this for anyone to feel sorry for me, \
or to have any sp see me or feel sorry for me
so i can see her.
im seeing someone and im happy.
and at some point well im going to try and put this hobby behind me.
not sure when
i just want people to know you can change the way you think, \you can change your behaviour
you can turn your life around and make it into whatever you want it to be,
i have,
and im not finished yet,
its a life long process
and im out of here for awhile
a few weeks,\
take care be safe people's
