Mental Health - Please don't be afraid to ask for help

[Jethro Bodine]

A friend of mine recently passed from suicide. Very sad. He was someone who I would see occasionally but not often. I knew certain things about him and his life but obviously not everything. In speaking to a couple of other friends who knew him much better, they were both in shock. One had seen him only a few days prior and says everything seemed fine. But that's the problem, people who are struggling often put on a brave face. Especially men.
I guess what I am trying to say is, if anyone here ever feels that they are struggling or heaven forbid contemplating suicide, please seek help. There are a number of resources out there, many of them anonymous including the Suicide Crisis Line (988) that one can access.
You are not alone!

J

 

[masterpoonhunter]

Sad to hear of this - good on you for being the friend who makes this kind of post.

As men we keep so much inside that no one ever knows. As a guy who has lived a lot, I've never reached that darkest of spots but it has been dark and when I finally did get help, it was as much a relief as it was empowering.

We all work out problems we have, our SO's have, our family's have, let alone work issues, money issues, and so many other things, all inside. And with a brave face. We are conditioned that way. The ability to compartmentalize is our super power ... And if asked if we are Ok, we answer, I'm good. But as JB says, if your compartments start coming apart, know that you do not need to go it alone.

MPH

 

[chebub]

I would like to add this option if anyone is struggling and can't afford counseling.
https://www.freecounsellingcanada.ca/?hl=en-CA

 

[PuntMeister]

Also:
https://headsupguys.org/

 

[Boogeryyc]

If you’re struggling, reach out, talk to friends, family or anyone that supports and cares for you. Avoid social media and just keep engaged. Connection is a great healer

 

[GeeBeeP]

Sorry for your loss JB, and you’re absolutely right. It’s hard to reach out for help when you’re struggling but all it might take is a friendly voice giving you the permission to ask for it.

 

[poonerboi]

If you’re struggling, reach out, talk to friends, family or anyone that supports and cares for you. Avoid social media and just keep engaged. Connection is a great healer

For some folks, social media is the only connection to others . I myself have no friends or family left. That's part of the reason I still see SPs. Only an evil ex surviving. That's the hardest part I think of getting old.

 

[MRGREEN]

I'm an engaged listener and people notice this and are drawn to it. I've learned that often the best advice is to encourage seeking professional guidance. We may mean well.... but

 

[sybian]

A friend of mine recently passed from suicide. Very sad. He was someone who I would see occasionally but not often. I knew certain things about him and his life but obviously not everything. In speaking to a couple of other friends who knew him much better, they were both in shock. One had seen him only a few days prior and says everything seemed fine. But that's the problem, people who are struggling often put on a brave face. Especially men.
I guess what I am trying to say is, if anyone here ever feels that they are struggling or heaven forbid contemplating suicide, please seek help. There are a number of resources out there, many of them anonymous including the Suicide Crisis Line (988) that one can access.
You are not alone!

J

Had the same thing happen with a good cowboy friend, it just floored me that he would go out that way, and by choice. He had rebuilt his life a few times, and we all thought he had made it.The family left behind are never really the same again.awesome post jethro, and I’m very sorry about your friend…

 

[uncutboner1981]

My condolences, Jethro.
Asking for help is the hardest part. Most people are happy to help. I’m guilty of this myself and it’s difficult to change. Especially for those over 40 (I’m guessing) who were raised to be “tough.”

 

[Class]

A friend of mine recently passed from suicide. Very sad. He was someone who I would see occasionally but not often. I knew certain things about him and his life but obviously not everything. In speaking to a couple of other friends who knew him much better, they were both in shock. One had seen him only a few days prior and says everything seemed fine. But that's the problem, people who are struggling often put on a brave face. Especially men.
I guess what I am trying to say is, if anyone here ever feels that they are struggling or heaven forbid contemplating suicide, please seek help. There are a number of resources out there, many of them anonymous including the Suicide Crisis Line (988) that one can access.
You are not alone!

J

There is a lot of emphasis placed on reaching out, but while in that dark place it is often hard to do , and it feels like failure to seek help. Unfortunately a lot of people don’t walk the talk when it comes to helping and say they are there for others, but I know firsthand there are a lot that glance over, dismiss or ignore the plea or signs of needing help. Sometimes all that is needed is an ear to hear you or someone for support. Listen to those that need help, encourage them to seek professional help, and be there with them and for them. Help your fellow human. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness it is a sign of strength. Let’s help one another!

 

[lukom]

There is a lot of emphasis placed on reaching out, but while in that dark place it is often hard to do , and it feels like failure to seek help. Unfortunately a lot of people don’t walk the talk when it comes to helping and say they are there for others, but I know firsthand there are a lot that glance over, dismiss or ignore the plea or signs of needing help. Sometimes all that is needed is an ear to hear you or someone for support. Listen to those that need help, encourage them to seek professional help, and be there with them and for them. Help your fellow human. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness it is a sign of strength. Let’s help one another!

I know what you mean by this. I have seen it. Thing is there are some people who have become almost a lost cause in the eyes of their peers or those willing to help, or just as well have pushed away those who have helped. I know someone who regularly goes through an episode and it's almost always that he never gets help when things are good, it's always just a suicidal post on Facebook on Christmas day, or his birthday, thanksgiving, when he's low on cash for the week, and the list goes on. He also had acted selfishly where on the day of his friends wedding, dedided not to go, and used his mental health as a reason, cause of a past bad experience where his exfiance who turned out to be lesbian left him years prior. He even had the audacity to disturb this friend while he was out of country on his honeymoon. These types of experiences are why some people can't reach out.
I had a friend who thankfully never took her life, but I remember she had a few too many episodes like the above mentioned and even worse. I had to permanently distance myself.