Masturbating and chilli peppers don't mix

[Creole Lady Marmalade]

I had a splitting migraine for three days, took all sorts of pain relievers and it didn't work. I read somewhere that having sex could relieve the pain.

I had chopped up some red Thai chillis for a yummy spicy Ring of Fire salsa, washed my hands several times while doing house work when it dawned on me to go for a solo adventure and produce an orgasm to send the migraine packing.

I diddled to my heart's content while watching some inspirational movies online and started to notice a stinging sensation, the heat was becoming unbearable. Aaaargh!

Well, I did have an orgasm, but my migraine was still present and now I had a burning fire, crotch pot!

The lesson learned, no amount of washing will remove the capsicum enzymes from your hands, especially from those Thai chilli or any chilli similar to shape, size, girth. Those little innocent looking chillis are murderously painful.

And now to find some ice...

 

[Marvin]

Oh my. I feel for you but I can't help giggling about it too. Hope you feel better real soon!

 

[JFK]

so is it fair to say that you had one HOT orgasm.

 

[Avery]

I love hot peppers of all kinds. On more than one occasion, I've made the mistake of taking a leak after handling cut habaneros without taking the intermediate step of washing my hands very thoroughly first. Failing do so results in an unpleasant burning sensation on the head of my dick. That's just from handling it briefly. Masturbating would undoubtedly rub the capsicum into my dick and cause it to burn for hours!!

I suspect the solution to Lady Marmalade's problem would be to rub her pussy with olive oil or something similar. Capsicum is oil-based, and the recommended antidote for eating too many hot peppers is to eat bread with a thick layer of butter on it to absorb the capsicum. Presumably, the application of something oily would relieve external burning due to capsicum.

 

[Eden]

I thought that plain yogurt or sour cream did the same, but I can't imagine how or what that might look like. Sorry Lady, can't even imagine and am crossing my legs for you as I write!!!

 

[Creole Lady Marmalade]

It was two days ago. I've recovered. Pretty funny, huh?

 

[Marvin]

Actually, it was damn funny!

 

[Herb_The_Perb]

I diddled to my heart's content while watching some inspirational movies online and started to notice a stinging sensation, the heat was becoming unbearable. Aaaargh!

Well, I did have an orgasm, but my migraine was still present and now I had a burning fire, crotch pot!

The lesson learned, no amount of washing will remove the capsicum enzymes from your hands, especially from those Thai chilli or any chilli similar to shape, size, girth. Those little innocent looking chillis are murderously painful.

Next time, think "Safe Sex".
Either use latex gloves to diddle, or to chop the peppers.
But not for both.
Or get someone to kiss the boo-boo. You can put me on the volunteers list.

 

[ironchef]

......it happened to me a day after i shaved down there......argh.....was walking funny for a few hours at the party i was at

 

[Hardatwork]

Next time try drinking a cola or coffee for the caffeine which helps with a migrane.

http://www.batnet.com/spencer/

 

[Creole Lady Marmalade]

Next time try drinking a cola or coffee for the caffeine which helps with a migrane.

http://www.batnet.com/spencer/

Uh, ya. Been there, done that.

 

[Creole Lady Marmalade]

Never figured the enzymes would stick around that long.

 

[pokemon]

What a hoot!! Is that why you are such a hottie??

 

[Cock Throppled]

Happened to me too, when taking a leak after cutting peppers. Also - be very careful and don't wipe your eyes.

 

[Creole Lady Marmalade]

What's the rule on nick-names, you can't give yourself one?

So far I've had Crash, from the accident. And now Chilli, from, well, you know.

 

[logsplitter]

When I was a young buck spanish fly ointment applied to a ladies labia was believed to get them horny. Later on I roomed with a pharmacy student who explained that the ointment was concocted by crushing and grinding a 'spansh fly' (s) and making an ointment from the powdered remains. There was an acidic element in the fly that is actually an irritant unless properly concocted and diluted down to the level of a so called stimulant.

The effect was that the lady got this itch that needed stroking. Sadly, once applied, the lady needed a lot of attention constantly for a long time until the urge went away (and I'm talking about a line up of guys all the way to the street corner).

Mayby you have invented a new type of spanish fly???? Just find the right dose and patent it!! You will be rich (but finding the right dose may take you a long time and I would presume you will leave a trail of exhaused poons on your trail to discovery)!