Curious as to what the marital status breakdown is among pooners on here. I find that I saw SW's a lot more as a single man, but I crave them a lot more now as a married man with kids, just have a lot less time for the hobby... Rather than going into every possible permutation, I just added options that I figured would be most relevant.
Marital Status
- Thread starter Bang4thebuck
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Single and by choice. Freedom is priceless.I'm married to equities lol
Married guy here. Many years ago my wife mentioned that SPs doesn't count as cheating.
She said her cheating brother-in-law should have just got an escort.
By my logic, I have a pass. Always playing safe, of course
She said her cheating brother-in-law should have just got an escort.
By my logic, I have a pass. Always playing safe, of course
Married and my wife doesn’t have the interest any more after she gave birth of my daughter….
Bro... having kids ruined my marriage too. Between work, child care, chores, and activities with kids... no time for spouse or even myself. Pretty much roommates at this point. I imagine many married men with young kids are in the same boat.
For many reasons such as tradition, family pressure, legal considerations, or practical benefits.
I'm married with 2 nearly adult kids. I can't remember whether it has been 5 or 6 years since I last had sex with my wife, and it has probably been fewer than 10 times in the last 15 years. I don't have a pass, but it has been an addiction. I've now hit the bottom of the money, though, so I have to quit and face the loneliness.
Was holding off on throwing in on this one but some of the posts are just too sad.
Me, being a full on, serial, parallel, and all parts in between, cheater, if having sex in and out of relationships is what defines a cheater, is the last guy anyone serious about traditional aspects of marriage should listen to. But you know what the hell, here's the old In My Opinion, all general and in no particular order, just spit balling here:
- women lose their libido when their natural hormones start to drop off - could be a multitude of things, kids definitely contribute to this, but put it this way, as a guy ages his testosterone drops off too so there is that and be aware that time gets us all.
- kids - well its probably a straight line correlation # kids to less sex, what can anyone say (Chelsea Handler - kids, they're not that great) - disclaimer, I love my kids and grand kids but it definitely helped to change the last marriage when the kids came around.
- I have had the pleasure of being a FWB with a women in her 50's on estrogen supplements - guys if you can find one of these specimens they are unicorns of sexual desire - the danger is increasing estrogen can be a trigger for cancer so just as viagra is around for guys, for the love of all things holy where the fuck is that PINK PILL?
- And then in all this there is the change from lover to room mate and companion. Best I heard was from some old dude commenting, women change every 5-10 years so if you want to stay with them you need to learn to love them all over again and if you don't they will find someone who will. Sage comment, I didn't do that by the way. Mind you, all of us guys change too so one needs to think about this.
- which gets us to SP's love them all and thankfully they have been and no doubt always will be part of our lives. As an old guy now that thrill of the hunt still exists and the ever changing catalog of women available satisfies that desire.
- cost - you have to do the math based on your circumstances - I figure going out for a coffee every work day or more money a lunch is about 20 x $$'s for the month. Is that the cost of your pooning?
I have no answer, no magic button, nothing. But if anyone comes up with THE ANSWER, well that is worth a few million bucks!
Me, being a full on, serial, parallel, and all parts in between, cheater, if having sex in and out of relationships is what defines a cheater, is the last guy anyone serious about traditional aspects of marriage should listen to. But you know what the hell, here's the old In My Opinion, all general and in no particular order, just spit balling here:
- women lose their libido when their natural hormones start to drop off - could be a multitude of things, kids definitely contribute to this, but put it this way, as a guy ages his testosterone drops off too so there is that and be aware that time gets us all.
- kids - well its probably a straight line correlation # kids to less sex, what can anyone say (Chelsea Handler - kids, they're not that great) - disclaimer, I love my kids and grand kids but it definitely helped to change the last marriage when the kids came around.
- I have had the pleasure of being a FWB with a women in her 50's on estrogen supplements - guys if you can find one of these specimens they are unicorns of sexual desire - the danger is increasing estrogen can be a trigger for cancer so just as viagra is around for guys, for the love of all things holy where the fuck is that PINK PILL?
- And then in all this there is the change from lover to room mate and companion. Best I heard was from some old dude commenting, women change every 5-10 years so if you want to stay with them you need to learn to love them all over again and if you don't they will find someone who will. Sage comment, I didn't do that by the way. Mind you, all of us guys change too so one needs to think about this.
- which gets us to SP's love them all and thankfully they have been and no doubt always will be part of our lives. As an old guy now that thrill of the hunt still exists and the ever changing catalog of women available satisfies that desire.
- cost - you have to do the math based on your circumstances - I figure going out for a coffee every work day or more money a lunch is about 20 x $$'s for the month. Is that the cost of your pooning?
I have no answer, no magic button, nothing. But if anyone comes up with THE ANSWER, well that is worth a few million bucks!
I hear you brother. It’s such a good stress release. No affairs for me but escorting I can’t give up.
I am married to my hands. Its a pretty low cost marriage.
I could never play in this hobby if I was married. Marriage to me is being with the love of my life where we share a mutual bond together full of trust. It would kill me inside deeply to break that trust with her and it would effect me deeply to have her break my trust in her. I find it crazy how so many men think they can play around but one whiff or idea of their lady playing games with another man or other men would send them overboard. It doesnt even have to be sexual. It could be just talking to another man.
I see it all around me in reality with guys who have such a selfish view. They want to have their cake and eat it too. Guys secretly chasing local tail or going off on guys trips to plow as much as they can while they let their wives or gfs know how much they love/miss them is pretty fucked to me.
I am not trying to judge people on this site.
Do whatever you can happily live with but I couldnt do it. It would eat at my soul and well being to live a life with such lies. How shattered would someone feel if they stayed true in trust all the way to the end only to find out that they gave their all to a serial cheater. It would be earth shattering. I say if you can play the field she should be able to play the field also. If your a cheater dont blow a gasket when you find out your neighbor rick with a big dick is plowing your wife. Its only fair. Lets play ball together. A curve ball is cumming and its a real hum-dinger!
If you cant be honest with eachother you might as well get a divorce but the hardest part is having money left over for this hobby after its all said and done.
I could never play in this hobby if I was married. Marriage to me is being with the love of my life where we share a mutual bond together full of trust. It would kill me inside deeply to break that trust with her and it would effect me deeply to have her break my trust in her. I find it crazy how so many men think they can play around but one whiff or idea of their lady playing games with another man or other men would send them overboard. It doesnt even have to be sexual. It could be just talking to another man.
I see it all around me in reality with guys who have such a selfish view. They want to have their cake and eat it too. Guys secretly chasing local tail or going off on guys trips to plow as much as they can while they let their wives or gfs know how much they love/miss them is pretty fucked to me.
I am not trying to judge people on this site.
Do whatever you can happily live with but I couldnt do it. It would eat at my soul and well being to live a life with such lies. How shattered would someone feel if they stayed true in trust all the way to the end only to find out that they gave their all to a serial cheater. It would be earth shattering. I say if you can play the field she should be able to play the field also. If your a cheater dont blow a gasket when you find out your neighbor rick with a big dick is plowing your wife. Its only fair. Lets play ball together. A curve ball is cumming and its a real hum-dinger!
If you cant be honest with eachother you might as well get a divorce but the hardest part is having money left over for this hobby after its all said and done.
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Been married twice now ,
Lived w 4 women total .
not saying this is always gonna lead to a buzzkill ( there are exceptions )
But when the heat does get turned down my theory is ,
It’s the moving in .
Not an instant buzzkill obviously,
More like a slow death , or build up of not enough missing the other ,
Not enough mystery ,
too much , well , shit getting real to be frank ,
complete transparency in seeing each others non sexy stuff ,
and life becoming routine .
Not an instant buzz kill but more like a slow build up until one day the bottom drops out completely.
Also my ex started losing interest in sex eventually after living together about a year in , but I still wanted to fuck like we did when we met .
It still happened sometime but more like after “girls night out” ,
But you gotta take your opportunities where you can .
In my second marriage now more like my wife would probably wanna fuck more than we do but my interest has faded a bit due to the reasons listed above .
My experience has been that one person usually loses interest more than the other .
Lived w 4 women total .
not saying this is always gonna lead to a buzzkill ( there are exceptions )
But when the heat does get turned down my theory is ,
It’s the moving in .
Not an instant buzzkill obviously,
More like a slow death , or build up of not enough missing the other ,
Not enough mystery ,
too much , well , shit getting real to be frank ,
complete transparency in seeing each others non sexy stuff ,
and life becoming routine .
Not an instant buzz kill but more like a slow build up until one day the bottom drops out completely.
Also my ex started losing interest in sex eventually after living together about a year in , but I still wanted to fuck like we did when we met .
It still happened sometime but more like after “girls night out” ,
But you gotta take your opportunities where you can .
In my second marriage now more like my wife would probably wanna fuck more than we do but my interest has faded a bit due to the reasons listed above .
My experience has been that one person usually loses interest more than the other .
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Single. Technically I'm a widower and have been for nearly thirty years. I've always hated that label; widower.
Fuck cancer.
Fuck cancer.
While you're right from a moral POV, it's not always that easy. Seeing escorts or having affairs let's you have an escape where you can have your cake and eat it too. I'd say most who cheat, men or women, don't really feel that guilt as there's enough resentment there to just not care. It's sad, nobody wants to be in that position in the future when they decide to get married, but it's common.
Avoiding your problems is much easier than dealing with them head on especially when your life is already full of stress and responsibility. Divorces are brutal and if you're already mentally and emotionally drained the last thing you want to do is drop that nuke on both of your lives.
If I had to pick an unhealthy coping mechanism, I'd rather be a cheater than a gambler, drug addict, alcoholic, or abuser. At least, that's one of the ways I can justify the behavior to myself compared to others I know.
Married. Two kids grown and on their own, one youngster at home. Wife not interested in sex anymore. Discussed options around healthy sexual activities and decided on rules around these events. Worked out a budget. Did the research and looked at the options. Going on several years now and things still going well, I went to Swan Lake this morning. I never lie to my wife and never break the rules. If something comes up that doesn't fit what we agreed, we discuss and come to an agreement.
Budget is definately important to me. Despite all other factors, I wouldn't want this "hobby" to have a significant effect on our finances.
I want to be careful, and keep it to being a special treat, rather than a frequent source of relief.
