Male vs Female @ The ATM

[BDAClub]

A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this bank is installing new "Drive-through" teller machines. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the below outlined procedures when accessing their accounts.

MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed after months of careful research.


MALE PROCEDURE


1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

3. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

4. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

5. Drive off.



FEMALE PROCEDURE


1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down

4. Find handbag; remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Turn the radio down.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open the car door to allow easy access to machine due to its excessive distance from the vehicle.

8. Insert card.

9. Reinsert card the right way up.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and reenter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check make up in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Place receipt in back of checkbook.

18. Recheck make-up again.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate cardholder, and place card into the slot provided.

23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver lined up behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull away.

25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

26. Release Parking Brake


LMAO

 

[Herb_The_Perb]

Sounds pretty misogynistic to me.

 

[Storm]

People like this do exist. Was it a Honda?

 

[My Name is Mud]

Julia, you forgot one

Women can make lists of how stupid and foolish men are, and everyone laughs... when men do that they get labelled a misogynist

 

[My Name is Mud]

Julia, All good fun eh!

LOL Not i. Just givin some of it back to him. All good fun.

All good fun..... mmmmm, that reminds me of our last evening together

 

[Mchatte]

Thank goodness you meant the automatic teller machine or the "titless" teller. I looked up ATM in a search on the web and holy crap batman there is some weird ATM stuff on there. Nothing I want to bank on!

M

 

[BDAClub]

LOL Not i. Just givin some of it back to him. All good fun.

It is all good fun lol......I also put one up called "Good Comebacks" that favours women. I'm glad somebody sees it as just good natured humour

 

[reynard626]

damn now I want to be a woman

 

[bwaters]

You forgot to include, "forget to take card from ATM so the guy behind you can empty your account." This happened to me not long ago. The "young lady" took so fecking long I think she was concerned about it and left without taking her card from the machine. She took her cash and drove off while the ATM was still asking if she wanted another transaction. I'm such a good sam I took the card inside and told them what happened and nicely admonished them because this shouldn't happen, even to the ladies.

 

[LonelyGhost]

yeah, us guys are all useless pigs.

i was at an atm recently and was approached by this old bird who couldn't figure out how the atm worked and handed me her credit card and told me her pin number ... i took her by the hand into the bank and explained this to one of the tellers and asked her to explain how this stuff worked to the bird. The teller was all agast but did thank me for being honest.

yup, nice to be a useless pig to women.

 

[burnabyguy5]

you forgot to include

A pooner mabey goes and gets fucked once a week and it costs him $120 to $250. A whore fucks mabey 20 to 30 guys a week and makes $2000 to $5000.

 

[muffdiver]

I went through a drive through atm about 2 months ago in vernon , i pull up behind this guy with washington plates, i can see he's having trouble operating the thing, pushing buttons like what seems to be 10 min, he throws is arms up in the air and drives off , i pull up and there's 60 bucks waiting to be pulled out, yes it did cross my mind to keep the poor basturds money but i went into the bank and handed it to the teller to which she and poor basturd thanked me .

God....if you are reading this, i'am a good person....go easy on me .