Make Love not Porn!

[virginjohn]

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Interesting point. I guess SPs here could weigh in on the issue as well. The website she mentions is: http://www.makelovenotporn.com/

All this aside I think she is really hot, those legs, that outfit, that confident demeanor all put lots of disturbing thoughts in my head ...

 

[virginjohn]

Yeah but the point is that due to the influence of hardcore pornography a lot of people are demanding PSE services as default. This could explain why there are more requests for BBFS (as was mentioned in another thread) than before.

 

[Gilgamesh]

Women want to control male sexuality and define what is right and normal. Porn is a revolt against this and naturally women feel threatened. What else is new?

 

[Harmony-bc]

Woo hoo, thank you for posting this. When I was a teen playing with my sexuality, I never came across any guys that wanted to come on my face. Maybe they were too shy, but probably not. Porn just wasn't that big a deal. When I first started working, nobody offered bbbj, kissing or cim, etc. Lots of girls offered greek, and dirty talking, but I used to hear all the time, how come NONE of you girls kiss, etc. The Internet has brought so many things out in the open that was more private, before this decade. The girls that did certain things had tons of regulars. I understand kissing, because some are looking for more of a connection, but I will never understand the rest of what some girls feel they have to offer to compete..

I like porn. I even have some here, and I understand that we all get turned on by different things. I can't imagine 99% of the girls being turned on by cuming on their face, even if they say it turns them on, lol. For me, I can't fathom it. It just seems like such a disrespectful power act. I am not prudish in any way. I'd be in the wrong business if I was, but I like fun, not degradation, lol

Yeah but the point is that due to the influence of hardcore pornography a lot of people are demanding PSE services as default. This could explain why there are more requests for BBFS (as was mentioned in another thread) than before.

I think once bbbj became acceptable, it is one step closer to bbfs. I have been asked for it 2 x in my whole working life. If I offered bbbj, I would probably be asked for it a lot more often. Once was off craigslist, when the guy was already at my place. I told him, I would just give him his money back and he could leave as he made me very nervous. The other time was through email, also off craigslist. I think it is all how you advertise as well. If a girl advertises, hot and horny need money for rent, she might have more jerk offs contacting her, than another girl who may offer the exact same services, but words it in a romantic, intelligent way.

I want to be clear, that I am in no way judging anybody that offers or asks for any kind of particular service. Each to their own. I was just speculating on why it is such a common request.

 

[Harmony-bc]

Women want to control male sexuality and define what is right and normal. Porn is a revolt against this and naturally women feel threatened. What else is new?

wow, feel threatened much ?

Porn is because men are horny and visual.

Porn is not a revolt against women trying to control mens sexuality. that is some serious crazy talk.

 

[Harmony-bc]

Porn is boring. how about erotica. The best is in Wild Orchid where they're having sex in this empty hotel under this flood of water. Now that shit is hot.

I agree. I love erotica. I used to collect erotic story books and read them on the phone to my guy friends My best guy friend got most of my torture, hahaa. We are still friends even though I was such a horrible cock teae to him, lol

 

[Gilgamesh]

wow, feel threatened much ?

The nature of human existence is people influencing and manipulting other people. It was ever thus.

Porn is because men are horny and visual.

Porn is not a revolt against women trying to control mens sexuality. that is some serious crazy talk.

I think the presentation speaks for itself. Men are bad for having certain desires, and should be ashamed of themselves.

 

[sonoman]

Men are bad for having certain desires, and should be ashamed of themselves.

You are on the wrong board.

 

[August West]

You are on the wrong board.

I think he was speaking in terms of the general stuck up society that wants to suppress male desires in order to control them sexually, not speaking his own thoughts.

COF and BBBJ are all acts desired by some men and therefore a commodity that some women are will to exploit, because they desire the money that comes with such acts. We can debate the issue of COF being a sexual turn on for some women or not at all, I'd say that debate with be fruitless and any answer given on this board would be based on advertising rather than actual. Men who seek out that level of service want the fantasy that the women enjoys it, so by saying that she hates it yet still offers it would be detremental to business.

 

[Harmony-bc]

I think he was speaking in terms of the general stuck up society that wants to suppress male desires in order to control them sexually, not speaking his own thoughts.

COF and BBBJ are all acts desired by some men and therefore a commodity that some women are will to exploit, because they desire the money that comes with such acts. We can debate the issue of COF being a sexual turn on for some women or not at all, I'd say that debate with be fruitless and any answer given on this board would be based on advertising rather than actual. Men who seek out that level of service want the fantasy that the women enjoys it, so by saying that she hates it yet still offers it would be detremental to business.

This is what I was trying to state, not as well as you, though.

 

[Miss*Bijou]

Great clip. She's hilarious!

I can totally relate to what she's talking about.

Woo hoo, thank you for posting this. When I was a teen playing with my sexuality, I never came across any guys that wanted to come on my face. Maybe they were too shy, but probably not. Porn just wasn't that big a deal.

More than once, I've had the same impression; that it's obvious the guy has watched lots of porn and truly believes it to be a realistic portrayal of sexuality. It can be an odd situation.

I like porn. I even have some here, and I understand that we all get turned on by different things. I can't imagine 99% of the girls being turned on by cuming on their face, even if they say it turns them on, lol. For me, I can't fathom it. It just seems like such a disrespectful power act. I am not prudish in any way. I'd be in the wrong business if I was, but I like fun, not degradation, lol

Perception..

Let's replace COF/porn with prostitution/sex. A non sp woman could say:

"I like sex and I understand that we all get turned on by different things (and have different attitutes/views about sexuality). I can't imagine 99% of the girls being turned on by having sex with strangers, even if they say it turns them on. For me, I can't fathom it. It just seems like such a disrespectful power act. I am not prudish in any way but I like fun, not degradation."


The following comments are in contradiction with each other:

- I understand that we all get turned on by different things
- I can't imagine 99% of the girls being turned on by....

I think once bbbj became acceptable, it is one step closer to bbfs. I have been asked for it 2 x in my whole working life. If I offered bbbj, I would probably be asked for it a lot more often.

I disagree..(see below)

I think it is all how you advertise as well. If a girl advertises, hot and horny need money for rent, she might have more jerk offs contacting her, than another girl who may offer the exact same services, but words it in a romantic, intelligent way.

I totally agree however I don't think it needs to be "romantic" per say. When I first started writing my own advertising, I was really worried about writing in a way that would attract the right type of clients so I was very careful. Maybe a little too much haha

Now I think there is a happy medium and that, as you say, if it's written in an intelligent way (proper grammar/punctuation does help here lol), it makes a huge difference on who you will be attracting in the end. Even if you are advertising PSE services.. It's a fantasy, if you advertise to appeal to the types of clients you want, you won't have any more bbfs requests than someone advertising for a romantic gfe. IMO.

 

[virginjohn]

I think the presentation speaks for itself. Men are bad for having certain desires, and should be ashamed of themselves.

I don't think she makes that point in the video. She says that porn pushes certain formulas for sexual acts and that people should be able to resist that. Imagine if mainstream porn depicted that all men enjoyed getting fucked with a strap on and you yourself were uncomfortable doing that. Would not you want to correct this false image?

 

[August West]

I don't think she makes that point in the video. She says that porn pushes certain formulas for sexual acts and that people should be able to resist that. Imagine if mainstream porn depicted that all men enjoyed getting fucked with a strap on and you yourself were uncomfortable doing that. Would not you want to correct this false image?

Why be concerned with what mainstream porn or society dictates, just be concerned with your own desires and wants. If you are not comfortable with performing a certain act then don't do it, we are all old enough to resist peer pressure. If mainstream porn depicts an act I don't desire then I don't do it nor will I be pressured into it, I am a grown up with my own thoughts and desires.

If I am dating a girl and she pulls out a strap on thinking that its cool because porn stars love it, then I'd tell her sorry not for me. She can call me some freak or something for not desiring it, I am ok with that as much as she should be ok with not wanting my jizz all over her face. I am not going to be with a woman who pressures me into doing things I don't desire and I'd expect no woman to stay with a man who pressures her into doing stuff she doesn't desire.

Why blame porn for people being weak willed and not willing to stand up for their own desires, why not instead find the root cause and create a bedroom where discussion is open and honest about deisres and fantasy. Create a world where people are strong willed and think for themself, rather than attempting to censor anything that the main stream society may find objectionable.

 

[sonoman]

I will agree that, particularly with younger males, mainstream porn today likely reinforces a certain view of what 'sex' should entail and what males should 'righfully' expect from their partners (e.g. CIM, COF, ATM). However, it's also my guess that the men most susceptible to this are the ones who are already chauvinistic, dominant types - behaviours/traits learned in the home from a young age rather than stricting from viewing hardcore porn.

 

[virginjohn]

Why be concerned with what mainstream porn or society dictates, just be concerned with your own desires and wants. If you are not comfortable with performing a certain act then don't do it, we are all old enough to resist peer pressure. If mainstream porn depicts an act I don't desire then I don't do it nor will I be pressured into it, I am a grown up with my own thoughts and desires.

If I am dating a girl and she pulls out a strap on thinking that its cool because porn stars love it, then I'd tell her sorry not for me. She can call me some freak or something for not desiring it, I am ok with that as much as she should be ok with not wanting my jizz all over her face. I am not going to be with a woman who pressures me into doing things I don't desire and I'd expect no woman to stay with a man who pressures her into doing stuff she doesn't desire.

Why blame porn for people being weak willed and not willing to stand up for their own desires, why not instead find the root cause and create a bedroom where discussion is open and honest about deisres and fantasy. Create a world where people are strong willed and think for themself, rather than attempting to censor anything that the main stream society may find objectionable.

Watch the video again.

1. She says she has no problem standing up for her desires and telling her partner not to cum on her face.

2. She is doing this for sexual education purposes. You and me might not need it but lets go back to my example and imagine a 17 year old boy with his 16 year old girlfriend having sex for the first time. She gets the strap on, he really does not wanna do it but then he thinks if I object I wont get any sex from anyone so he goes along with it. The tragedy is the girl might not even like fucking him with a strap on either but both think this is how they are supposed to behave. Correcting this type of thing is a good cause imo.

 

[August West]

Watch the video again.

1. She says she has no problem standing up for her desires and telling her partner not to cum on her face.

2. She is doing this for sexual education purposes. You and me might not need it but lets go back to my example and imagine a 17 year old boy with his 16 year old girlfriend having sex for the first time. She gets the strap on, he really does not wanna do it but then he thinks if I object I wont get any sex from anyone so he goes along with it. The tragedy is the girl might not even like fucking him with a strap on either but both think this is how they are supposed to behave. Correcting this type of thing is a good cause imo.

I was a teenager not long ago, first porn scene I had seen was Marilyn Chambers getting fucked on a pool table with the guy yanking on her nips calling her 'miss little rich bitch' and finishing on her face, this was 20 years ago. No one seen that as how sex occurs naturally, it was seen as a fantasy and I can't phantom anyone with minimum intelligence to believe other wise.

Have you seen the site? It is not for people under 18, you need to say you are 18+ before entering, so her focus market is not teenagers. Then read some of the silly things on there, more about selling T-shirts and having people go see her lecture imo.

What I did get from the video is her stating that porn is run by men, for men, in a man's world or whatever, but clearly making the point that is man's fault. Like Gilgamesh said, she wants to control men sexually, which is likely why she prefers to date younger men. Maybe she should review who she dates and the men she attracts rather than pointing the blame on porn because some guy wants to spray his load over his face. She is blaming porn for her dating immature guys who are with her for a fantasy that they are trying to live out, her desire is to control, not education, at least that is the impression I get.

Cindy Gallop has turned her illustrious advertising career into a lifelong pursuit of changing the world, her way
From: Ted

 

[Miss*Bijou]

18 and 19 yr olds are teenagers...
Just saying.


I think that perhaps the main difference between the way teenagers associate porn as the way sexuality should be, is that it is re-enforced in other media such as "Girls gone wild" type of culture, music, video, lyrics & attitude. This makes it a lot easier for kids to grow up buying into it. I mean "Girls gone wild" do it all voluntarily and for free.


That's just an example but I think there's a major difference from 20 years ago. Hard core isn't so hard core when it's mainstream and everywhere in popular culture..


I think you are missing the point by choosing to get all defensive. It's totally irrelevant to women wanting to control this or that. Young girls are just are affected just as much as boys are and it's sad to think that they might be growing up with a limited and kinda warped idea of what sex is.


There isn't anything wrong with hard core porn - and the speaker didn't imply there was - there is something wrong with the fact that this is the only sexual education kids are getting, which leaves them without a balanced view of sexuality. That is what the point the point was.

 

[Miss*Bijou]

What I did get from the video is her stating that porn is run by men, for men, in a man's world or whatever, but clearly making the point that is man's fault. ....

Porn is run by men and aimed at men.

Do you disagree with that statement? IMO it's accurate.


She isn't blaming men for anything.

She is making her point that boys (and girls) who are getting their sexual education solely from hard core porn, are getting an unbalanced view based on content that is aimed at men, made by men and portrays somewhat of an "exxagerated" picture - and that it results in an incomplete view of sexuality... (..due to the unbalanced education.)


That's very different than blaming porn & men simply because they make it .



I really don't see how one could interpret the whole thing as putting a blame on men and porn.

I would like to stress the following:

* MakeLoveNotPorn is not about judgement, or what is good vs what is bad. Sex is the area of human experience that embraces the widest possible range of tastes. Everyone should be free to make up their own mind about what they do and don't like.

* MakeLoveNotPorn is not anti-porn. I like porn and watch it regularly myself.

* MakeLoveNotPorn is simply intended to help inspire and stimulate open, healthy conversations about sex and pornography, in order to help inspire and stimulate more open, healthy and thoroughly enjoyable sexual relationships.

 

[August West]

I think you are missing the point by choosing to get all defensive. It's totally irrelevant to women wanting to control this or that. Young girls are just are affected just as much as boys are and it's sad to think that they might be growing up with a limited and kinda warped idea of what sex is.


There isn't anything wrong with hard core porn - and the speaker didn't imply there was - there is something wrong with the fact that this is the only sexual education kids are getting, which leaves them without a balanced view of sexuality. That is what the point the point was.

I think we are being naive to think that young people today are getting their sole sexual education from porn, not to mention there is much more to sexual education than the act of sex, and that porn isn't the only medium that depects the act of sex.

As I believe it is naive to think that way, then I see an alterior motive on the speakers behalf. Just because I see a different point or motive than you doesn't mean I am being defensive, just means I see something different than you. To believe that kids are only getting their sexual education from porn takes away all other mediums and any intelligence a kid has, sure there maybe a small group of warped individuals who see porn as reality rather than fantasy, but those people have mental issues beyond that.

As for todays culture, well again back in the day we listened to NWA and a song call Fuck the Police, do we really think that reinforced anyone with an inkling of intelligence to take out a cop with a sniper rifle? When we are kids we think we are smarter than our parents, when we are adult we think the child of today are dumber than we were at that age.

The underlying point imo is control, not education.

The site has one reference on it:

Porn: All women have no pubic hair

Reality: Yes they do, some choose to shave which requires a lot of maintenance and a pain in the ***

Do we really believe there are young adults out there who believe women don't have pubic hair? Or is there another motive?

How many women in our own history have hair on their legs and at what point in life did we learn that women actually shaved their legs? How did we learn that with out a website, an advertising lecturer and T-shirts

 

[virginjohn]

I think we are being naive to think that young people today are getting their sole sexual education from porn, not to mention there is much more to sexual education than the act of sex, and that porn isn't the only medium that depects the act of sex.

As I believe it is naive to think that way, then I see an alterior motive on the speakers behalf. Just because I see a different point or motive than you doesn't mean I am being defensive, just means I see something different than you. To believe that kids are only getting their sexual education from porn takes away all other mediums and any intelligence a kid has, sure there maybe a small group of warped individuals who see porn as reality rather than fantasy, but those people have mental issues beyond that.

As for todays culture, well again back in the day we listened to NWA and a song call Fuck the Police, do we really think that reinforced anyone with an inkling of intelligence to take out a cop with a sniper rifle? When we are kids we think we are smarter than our parents, when we are adult we think the child of today are dumber than we were at that age.

The underlying point imo is control, not education.

The site has one reference on it:

Porn: All women have no pubic hair

Reality: Yes they do, some choose to shave which requires a lot of maintenance and a pain in the ***

Do we really believe there are young adults out there who believe women don't have pubic hair? Or is there another motive?

How many women in our own history have hair on their legs and at what point in life did we learn that women actually shaved their legs? How did we learn that with out a website, an advertising lecturer and T-shirts

When it comes to sex kids ARE stupid, just look at the numbers for teenage pregnancy.

About the pubic hair issue, the point is not that woman have no hair down there. The point is that porn is making the impression that shaving everything is the default mode and if a woman wants to be desired she has to shave it.