my sp did some research and found my orginal email to her five years ago.
we have been together ever since
this hobby offers many many different experiances.
for me i guess
sexuality was always i difficult thing for me
because my father was a very abusive sexual preditor.
so i married someone a lovely women but with a very low sex drive, at the time i thought it was a good idea. but over the long haul it wasn't.
sex just slowly faded away in our life.
but as i got older i delt with things my sex drive seemed to increase,
what to do, have an affair leave my wife, or just pay some one
i love my wife my kids,
i agonized for along time what to do, an affair didn't seem right, i couldn't lie to someone tell her i loved them cared about them when i didn't give a dam
any way coming home drunk i mean real drunk standing waiting for a train, this big black guy enters into a conversation with me, whatever, i was to pissed to care,
he suddenly just grabs me and plants a big fucking wet kiss on me.
fuck
the decision was made all the way home, i thought i could die and the last person to kiss me would be this big bloody black guy.
next week i contacted an sp,
it was an amazing fucking experiance, the lady
turned out to be the only real porn star girl i have ever met
a lot of girls claim to be porn star and kiss and everything but not really,
in my mind there all pretenders compared to her.
we became friends, all the porn star shit stopped. we just had basic safe sex.
its funny you can really get lost in this and just chase sex and orgasims and kink.
and i guess, thats why i pay a women to get off,
so part of me has chased sex orgasims and kink, but eventually i look into a womens eyes and im just with another human being,
and when im with a women and i see her as a women instead of a performer or actor simple sex is so wonderful just holding her and touching her blows my mind.
so after the third session or so, and the excitment of fucking a girl and doing everything they do in the movies to her, wore off.
i looked into her eyes and there was a women there a very kind and gentle women.
we became friends still are, though i don't pay her or have sex any more with her,
we got drunk to many times and she told me a tale of abuse
it just didn't seem right to be another guy
to abuse her.
and in a sense it is to her,
we got drunk and talked and just the way she thinks of guys that pay her and sex with them.
she does it, but part of her shuts down. during it,
i dunno we still talk but i don't need to have sex with her,
i met another women in this, a safe gfe girl. shy conservative,
in some way to shy and conservative, to be an sp
but she is a beautiful women,
i must admit i get off on having sex with a beautiful women.
and i have told her she is the only true women i have met in this.
she doesn't really understand it what i mean
neither do i,
everyone else seems like a performer and actor to me.
for my next trick
we have talked many many hours. about this hobby about sex, about stuff about life,
to be honest i never felt comfortable being a john sneaking around, emailing girls looking for addresses hotel rooms in the dark,
standing there naked with various boodily fluids on me while the lady phones her kid.
its nice when you can find a friend in this hobby.
and just looking at her and feeling her warmth is enough to get me going.
and we have shared each others lives and feelilngs and thoughts enough that the simpliest physical thing with her can blow me away.
i don 't need greek or bbbj or facials.
these girls guys,
are giving you a gift guys,
respect it
we have been together ever since
this hobby offers many many different experiances.
for me i guess
sexuality was always i difficult thing for me
because my father was a very abusive sexual preditor.
so i married someone a lovely women but with a very low sex drive, at the time i thought it was a good idea. but over the long haul it wasn't.
sex just slowly faded away in our life.
but as i got older i delt with things my sex drive seemed to increase,
what to do, have an affair leave my wife, or just pay some one
i love my wife my kids,
i agonized for along time what to do, an affair didn't seem right, i couldn't lie to someone tell her i loved them cared about them when i didn't give a dam
any way coming home drunk i mean real drunk standing waiting for a train, this big black guy enters into a conversation with me, whatever, i was to pissed to care,
he suddenly just grabs me and plants a big fucking wet kiss on me.
fuck
the decision was made all the way home, i thought i could die and the last person to kiss me would be this big bloody black guy.
next week i contacted an sp,
it was an amazing fucking experiance, the lady
turned out to be the only real porn star girl i have ever met
a lot of girls claim to be porn star and kiss and everything but not really,
in my mind there all pretenders compared to her.
we became friends, all the porn star shit stopped. we just had basic safe sex.
its funny you can really get lost in this and just chase sex and orgasims and kink.
and i guess, thats why i pay a women to get off,
so part of me has chased sex orgasims and kink, but eventually i look into a womens eyes and im just with another human being,
and when im with a women and i see her as a women instead of a performer or actor simple sex is so wonderful just holding her and touching her blows my mind.
so after the third session or so, and the excitment of fucking a girl and doing everything they do in the movies to her, wore off.
i looked into her eyes and there was a women there a very kind and gentle women.
we became friends still are, though i don't pay her or have sex any more with her,
we got drunk to many times and she told me a tale of abuse
it just didn't seem right to be another guy
to abuse her.
and in a sense it is to her,
we got drunk and talked and just the way she thinks of guys that pay her and sex with them.
she does it, but part of her shuts down. during it,
i dunno we still talk but i don't need to have sex with her,
i met another women in this, a safe gfe girl. shy conservative,
in some way to shy and conservative, to be an sp
but she is a beautiful women,
i must admit i get off on having sex with a beautiful women.
and i have told her she is the only true women i have met in this.
she doesn't really understand it what i mean
neither do i,
everyone else seems like a performer and actor to me.
for my next trick
we have talked many many hours. about this hobby about sex, about stuff about life,
to be honest i never felt comfortable being a john sneaking around, emailing girls looking for addresses hotel rooms in the dark,
standing there naked with various boodily fluids on me while the lady phones her kid.
its nice when you can find a friend in this hobby.
and just looking at her and feeling her warmth is enough to get me going.
and we have shared each others lives and feelilngs and thoughts enough that the simpliest physical thing with her can blow me away.
i don 't need greek or bbbj or facials.
these girls guys,
are giving you a gift guys,
respect it
