LOL of the day
- Thread starter lenny
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And how could I not add, awwwwwwwww, these guys are SO romantic, aren't they? swoon... Shall we have a sing-along?
Snoop Dogg: "Take Yo Panties Off"
(feat. Craig Robinson)
Girl you know you get me off
Girl you smackin to my balls
Give it to you nice and soft
Take yo panties off
You are beautiful, you are wonderful
I adore you, I appreciate you
Girl I'm off this alcohol
Leaning up against a wall
Put your hands upon my balls
And take yo panties off
You are beautiful, you are wonderful (slip em to the side girl)
I adore you, I appreciate you (let me sneak a site girl)
...
She is your queen, she is my diva
Take yo panties off
She is my queen, she is my diva
Take yo panties off
It’s a problem that I seem to have
Each and every time I try
To break it down what I’m thinking
Girl you know you got my eye
I gotta see what’s under there
I gotta take my time too
So come on baby come tonight
And please take off your panties too
Girl you know you get me off
Girl you smackin to my balls
Give it to ya nice and soft
Take yo panties off
You are beautiful, you are wonderful
I adore you, I appreciate you
Girl I’m off this alcohol
Leaning up against ...
Put your hands upon my balls
And take yo panties off
You are beautiful, you are wonderful (slip em to the side girl)
I adore you, I appreciate you (let me sneak a site girl)
...
She is your queen, she is my diva
Take yo panties off
She is my queen, she is my diva
Take yo panties off
Somebody told me one time, ask
Ask and you shall receive
So this is me being very polite
Take your panties off please
First you say yes and then you say no
And we go tit for tat
You might think that you being cute
But baby ain't nobody got time for that
....
Girl you know you get me off
Girl you smackin to my balls
Give it to ya nice and soft
Take yo panties off
You are beautiful, you are wonderful
I adore you, I appreciate you
Girl I’m off this alcohol
Leaning up against the wall
Put your hands upon my balls
Take yo panties off
You are beautiful, you are wonderful
I adore you, I appreciate you
Patty cakes and that bisquick
Mouth covered that lipstick
Play your cards right
And you just might get yourself that dipstick
....
Lick me, lick me, lick me up
You can lick me down
Let me slip it in and let me take you down
Damn girl, understand girl, your panties look better on the floor
Do me a favor, misbehavior, let ‘em go, let ‘em go
Leave yo panties on the dresser, muchacha traviesa
Bad girl, lift your dress up, ... as I said girl, and I’m your professor
Take ‘em off, take ‘em off, take ‘em off, take ‘em off...take 'em off
Take ‘em off, take ‘em off, take ‘em off, take ‘em off...take 'em off
Take ‘em off, take ‘em off, take ‘em off, take ‘em off...take 'em off
Take ‘em off, take ‘em off, take ‘em off, take ‘em off...take 'em off
What is a king without a queen
What is the ding without the dinga-ling
It all matters it’s one thing, with you pulling those panties down
So no time to waste, this is the place
You're forced to do something you've always wanted to
So take em off
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I think that was the funniest part.
But, he obviously loves me when he calls me a Queen and tells me I am beautiful. I mean he even adores me and appreciates me...it makes me wanna take my panties off....
I thought my pic was funny. Those two just made my night. LOL...what is the world coming to !?!?!?!?! ound:
ound:
I will admit that is downright weird to throw a strap on on teddy and well....its just weird......The penis on your stuffy seems to be made of soft pliable material, whereas the penis on my stuffy is hard enough to have penetrated her vagina, so I think I like mine better.
the shaft is ALWAYS relatively bare compared to the mat of body hair surrounding it... i didn't think i would have to spell that out for youThe penis on your stuffy seems to be made of soft pliable material, whereas the penis on my stuffy is hard enough to have penetrated her vagina, so I think I like mine better.
now just WHAT kind of service was that you provided, ma'am?
Joke for today
A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.
"They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies.
"Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles farther on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket..
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."
Poor Bastard never knew what hit him.
A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.
"They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies.
"Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles farther on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket..
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."
Poor Bastard never knew what hit him.
Male Logic...Man/Woman conversation
Male Logic...Man/Woman conversation
Woman:Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes
Woman: How many beers a day?
Man:Usually about 3
Woman: How much do you pay per beer?
Man: $5.00 which includes a tip
(This is where it gets scary !)
Woman: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: About 20 years, I suppose
Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 ...correct?
Man: Correct
Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past
20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?
Man: Correct
Woman: Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you drink beer?
Woman: No
Man: Where's your fucking Ferrari?
Male Logic...Man/Woman conversation
Woman:Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes
Woman: How many beers a day?
Man:Usually about 3
Woman: How much do you pay per beer?
Man: $5.00 which includes a tip
(This is where it gets scary !)
Woman: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: About 20 years, I suppose
Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 ...correct?
Man: Correct
Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past
20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?
Man: Correct
Woman: Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you drink beer?
Woman: No
Man: Where's your fucking Ferrari?
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.
'Big breaths,' . . . I instructed.
'Yes, they used to be,' . . . replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes ,
Seattle , WA
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, ' How long have you been bedridden? '
After a look of complete confusion she answered,
'Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-
Corvallis , OR
I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked . . .. ' So how's your breakfast this morning? ' 'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste,' Bob replied.
I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labeled ' KY Jelly. '
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf ,
Detroit
A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room
when a young woman with purple hair styled
into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos,
and wearing strange clothing,
entered .. . . It was quickly determined that
the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. While she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green and above it there was a tattoo that read . . . 'Keep off the grass. '
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon
wrote a short note on the patient's dressing,
which said 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn. '
Submitted by RN, no name
AND FINALLY!! ! . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . ..
As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said . . . I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'
She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard . . . 'No doctor but the song you were whistling was . . ..
'Oh, I wish I was an Oscar Mayer Wiener.'
Dr. wouldn't submit his name...
1 MORE
Baby's First Doctor Visit
This made me laugh out loud.
I hope it will give you a smile!
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
'Breast-fed,' she replied.
'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'
'I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma,
But I'm glad I came.'
'Big breaths,' . . . I instructed.
'Yes, they used to be,' . . . replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes ,
Seattle , WA
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, ' How long have you been bedridden? '
After a look of complete confusion she answered,
'Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-
Corvallis , OR
I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked . . .. ' So how's your breakfast this morning? ' 'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste,' Bob replied.
I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labeled ' KY Jelly. '
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf ,
Detroit
A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room
when a young woman with purple hair styled
into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos,
and wearing strange clothing,
entered .. . . It was quickly determined that
the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. While she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green and above it there was a tattoo that read . . . 'Keep off the grass. '
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon
wrote a short note on the patient's dressing,
which said 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn. '
Submitted by RN, no name
AND FINALLY!! ! . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . ..
As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said . . . I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'
She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard . . . 'No doctor but the song you were whistling was . . ..
'Oh, I wish I was an Oscar Mayer Wiener.'
Dr. wouldn't submit his name...
1 MORE
Baby's First Doctor Visit
This made me laugh out loud.
I hope it will give you a smile!
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
'Breast-fed,' she replied.
'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'
'I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma,
But I'm glad I came.'
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