Legit excuse for turning down a date?
- Thread starter Mutt66
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Wait until you are my age (early 60s but all the SPs I see tell me I look younger - they would not lie would they lol ?) and then you will just stop asking out women, if you are like me. I find I am almost entirely attracted to women 20+ years younger than me ( a side effect of seeing relatively young SPs ) and it really is not appropriate to ask out women that much younger unless you are famous or wealthy ( preferably both ), neither of which applies to me ;-(
Having said that, about 6 months ago I was having a pleasant conversation with a young lady (25 to 30 years old) working in a coffee shop. We really seemed to make a connection. I briefly forgot about our age difference and asked if she might be interested in sharing a coffee or a meal some time. She said yes and I gave her my # and asked her to contact me, in that way she could just not contact me if she was just being polite. I really did think she would call/text ( no fool like an old fool ) but she did not. I had reason to be back in the coffee shop a few weeks later. She brought up that she had lost my # but had found it again, implying that she still intended to contact me. I said something to the effect that she did not need to make an excuse, in a friendly "I understand" kind of way. After that we spoke several more times and we were pleasant with each other each time, but she never did contact me. She may not be in Vancouver any longer since her visa was about to run out when I saw her last, which was several months ago.
JD
Having said that, about 6 months ago I was having a pleasant conversation with a young lady (25 to 30 years old) working in a coffee shop. We really seemed to make a connection. I briefly forgot about our age difference and asked if she might be interested in sharing a coffee or a meal some time. She said yes and I gave her my # and asked her to contact me, in that way she could just not contact me if she was just being polite. I really did think she would call/text ( no fool like an old fool ) but she did not. I had reason to be back in the coffee shop a few weeks later. She brought up that she had lost my # but had found it again, implying that she still intended to contact me. I said something to the effect that she did not need to make an excuse, in a friendly "I understand" kind of way. After that we spoke several more times and we were pleasant with each other each time, but she never did contact me. She may not be in Vancouver any longer since her visa was about to run out when I saw her last, which was several months ago.
JD
How old are you anyway?
Still in grade school?
Asking if a rejection is legitimate?
Obviously in this case it certainly was- pretty sure she did herself a huge solid passing you up if this is the sort of thing you dwell on and need to reach out about.
PS - And your ".. I told you it was mildly annoying.." remark?
Women just LOVE being told......
Meaning absolutely no disrespect to your story, I'm inexplicably amused at the idea of asking a person working at a coffee shop out for coffee.
Yeah I caught that one as well, and had a good chuckle...Meaning absolutely no disrespect to your story, I'm inexplicably amused at the idea of asking a person working at a coffee shop out for coffee.
JimDandy....you might be surprised how many younger women are interested ( legitimately) in seeing a Gentleman 10 or 20 years their senior.
I've dated more women 15 to 20 years younger, than where in my own age bracket...
A plain & clear "no" or "yes" should be all a woman ever needs, without having to muddy things with any conditional ambiguities, or resorting to rejection overkill. A woman shouldn't have to squirt ink like an octopus trying to escape.
That's pure idealism though, I know it's not what most ladies experience - far too many jerks out there, not how the world works right now. (Noting that "how the world works" does not actually work.)
I just figured:
If a clear and respectful "no" has been delivered, the ball is in his court; if the guy then throws a tantrum, that's his fault, not hers, and proves she was wise to decline him. If he takes the clear "no" like a man, he may be a dateless man, but at least still a man.
Most guys do respect honesty. Sociopaths neither appreciate it nor are capable of it. And they can't imagine not getting what they want. They're the ones who fuck it up for the rest.
In the meantime, this thread just confirms for me it's generally better when the women do the asking.
That's pure idealism though, I know it's not what most ladies experience - far too many jerks out there, not how the world works right now. (Noting that "how the world works" does not actually work.)
I just figured:
If a clear and respectful "no" has been delivered, the ball is in his court; if the guy then throws a tantrum, that's his fault, not hers, and proves she was wise to decline him. If he takes the clear "no" like a man, he may be a dateless man, but at least still a man.
Most guys do respect honesty. Sociopaths neither appreciate it nor are capable of it. And they can't imagine not getting what they want. They're the ones who fuck it up for the rest.
In the meantime, this thread just confirms for me it's generally better when the women do the asking.
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no
No is a one word sentence. Took me 30 + years to figure out. i get rejected a lot but my ego still hurts sometimes.
