Language

[Alix Turner]

For the third time I have now received an e-mail about "workplace violence" and escorts.. and given some of the reading I've been doing about rhetoric in the last couple of years it has given me pause for thought.


1) Is high end escorting dangerous enough compared to frequently dating men (or women) off of the internet sites like plenty of fish that it deserves so much more focus than these other types of semi-anonymous dating?
2) Given what I've read and heard about clients experiencing violence and/or abuse from escorts... why the heck isn't anyone setting up websites and statistics for them? Escorts are able to contribute stats anonymously, so it isn't as though clients couldn't do the same if someone were to want to contribute their own experiences without wanting to be exposed?
3) Is constantly looking at the issue of workplace violence and escorts actually making it more dangerous for escorts? A society that believes violence is common and frequently experienced by escorts due to their constantly being exposed to the issue is going to have a higher tolerance for these situations occurring, is it not?

I just think if we are going to talk about this matter, we should be considering how best to do it (anyone that knows me knows I am not one for shoving any topic under the rug, but I don't like talking about serious issues just to talk about them) I also see the need for more clarification between survival and street sex workers and high end escorting. I'm sorry if that distinction is offensive to anyone, I'm not saying there is a difference in deserving when it comes to the type of woman that does this work (Any "high end" escort could be a rent payment away from becoming a survival sex worker for all the uninformed observer knows) but I think there is a very different potential for harm given the process of client selection and safety network they are often able to make use of.

quickly, a little background: In the two years I spent as an escort I never once experienced any form or violence or abuse from a client. I was told I was very lucky. I accept that given the statistics this was partially the case but I also made some very specific decisions about the way I made myself available to clients that I believe helped me steer clear of harmful situations. This in no way is meant to imply that I feel that anyone who has experienced violence and/or abuse (emotional or otherwise) did something wrong

now here's what I've been wondering.. would it make a difference if we dropped the focus on violence and turned it into a focus on safety even in the language we use when it comes to concerns in the escorting industry? Would a safety network that was easier to access and more actively maintained and circulated online be more helpful to certain types of sex workers (I think I am referring primarily to those that are considered "high end" sex workers) than websites that look for statistics and personal experiences of violence not do more to keep women from experiencing these situations?

oh, and happy Friday folks!

 

[vancity_cowboy]

...and given some of the reading I've been doing about rhetoric in the last couple of years it has given me pause for thought.

that's what it is, is 'rhetoric' which is basically a distortion of the truth. what you go on to say isn't rhetoric, its logic - which is basically a clarification of the truth

I'm absolutely certain that many of the victims of Willy Pickton "knew" as they were being driven to the pig farm that "this is a really bad idea". But, whatever had put them where he could get them also made it impossible for them to jump out of the car and return without the money.

you are right i'm sure, but i'm equally sure that overconsumption of various forms of depressants also played a large part in dulling their survival instincts, or as some would call it - street smarts

 

[cjac7214]

Alix - maybe I am misinterpreting but I think what you are saying is shouldn't there be a good client list instead of just a bad client list? I agree. I would also say that safety in this "industry" (fucking hate that term) is actually a two way street. I agree with alinburnaby that the high end escorts are generally safer than the survival workers, for a whole pile of reasons. Actually, most of the escorts I have seen are like you - their encounters have been safe if not genuinely enjoyable, and it is because they have a choice and have the common sense or intuition to select good clients. I think it would be great if there was such a mechanism for both sides. Of course, legalization would take care of most of the problems.

 

[sevenofnine]

im not one for semantics
fuck semantics actually.

people tell you what they want you to know, thats it.

write a post, one person will see one thing another something completely different.
people see what they want to see.

read an article about prostitution, and its immediatly clear, whether the person writing it is a christian wanna be, some sort of moralist, or some sort social doo gooder,

to me there is a reality of the situation, you have all these talking heads getting paid to spew forth ideas, and they are getting paid,
so what are they going to say.

its simple,

there are safe injection sites, etc etc, but a prostitute is not allowed the same luxury.
it says a lot about our society i think.

violence victioms safty my thoughts.

for sure violence can happen at any moment, to any one any where,
and i would guess a sex trade worker is at more risk then some one going to church

but as far as a systematic violence, or hazards or long term habitual risks.
i think we all have roles to play, and victim and agresser or abuser is one of them,

you see your role as a victim and that is what you become. stop being a victim, im not saying nothing bad will ever happen to you.
but like some one said people knew they were in a bad way when they got into a car with pickton.

and there is a difference between, having sex with every client that shows up at your door and screening them
perhaps in just how you emotionally deal with it.
its funny but perceptions are everything.

a shrink told me once being raped as a child wasn't such a big deal, the physical act any, its how the mind dealt with it after that mattered. that made it such a big deal.