Ladies with pooning SO

[SPinVic]

Quote from Spacehost "Because I am sensitive, caring and completely understanding of your need to poon... "

Spaceghosts response to another thread made me ponder the other side of the story. Lately there has been alot of discussion around pooners loving/living with a SP. What about a woman that loves/lives with a man that poons? Could I accept the fact that my man poons? Would I want to know? etc

We (women for the most part) have been raised to the idea that when we mate/partner that we are inclusive to each other. Is this realistic?

The dynamics of relationships is a interesting topic!

 

[SPinVic]

paigeadams

Sounds to me it was an issue about honesty? Not about the fact that he was seeing an escort?

I have found out that men and women are built differently in regards to our sexuality...ok ok... not a new philosophy....but one that intrigues me.

I would love to spend a day in a mans mind and body to see what it really feels like.

 

[hitrack]

I went through this last year when I dated a guy I met as a client. We had an "understanding" that it was ok if either of us were out of town, he was honest and practiced safely!

At that point right there the relationship was doomed.

Like, no it's not O.K. if I'm at work, out of town, in prison, or went to the corner store for milk for either of us to F-around in front of each others back or behind.

The SP's I dated all ended in crash and burn. 3 strikes those kinda chicks are out. My next GF is not even gonna know what a hooker is. Well you know what I mean.

 

[Seksi Angel]

I wouldnt allow him to

We go by the same theory that ,while it may be fun at times..its still for money ,therefore a job

She objected however to any pooning on my part as this would be a sign of boredom with the status quo, and would risk the development of emotional intimacy outside our relationship. She would therefore appreciate me telling her of any desire to experience extra-relational experiences so she could address this, either by making appropriate adjustments in her life to remedy the problem or taking part in any selection of a potential candidate.

This I completly agree with ...

 

[BS Detector]

Female Logic

Women believe if a pet cat strays, it's because of a lack of affection at home.
Women believe if a pet dog strays, it's because of lack of attention at home.
Women believe if a woman strays, it's because of lack of attention at home.
Women believe if a man strays, it's because men are pigs.

 

[photographer88]

Men make note to selves.

page adams

I was in Seattle and had a dream that he was messing around with someone, he called and woke me from my dream, I shared my dream with him and went back to sleep. When he picked me up from tha plane he (stupidly) reminded me on my dream which I had totally forgotten about. Some how my "gut" started to talk to me, I called the friend that the "lady" was staying with and she decided I needed to know what she had heard about my partner and everything unravelled from there. My big issue was... he denied the incident for days after the "lady" outright admitted it!

Men make note to selves.

1) Stop phoning women during sleep time.
2) Stop picking up women from the airport. Tell her, there's public transit.
3) Tickle woman’s gut when woman’s gut starts talking.
4) When escort asks if you’ve strayed, answer back, “Do women like shoes?”

 

[BS Detector]

VM...Me thinks some have NO idea of how true that cartoon really is!

 

[blondeluver]

Really??? Wow... where were you a year ago? *sigh* whoever that man would be, he is a darn lucky guy for sure!

hmmm..I believe in monogomy. And yes, I do think it's realistic. I think I'd get too jealous if my hunny-pie was out foolin around. And yes, I'd leave this job for a forever love..in a heart-beat ~

 

[spaceghost]

Quote from Spacehost "Because I am sensitive, caring and completely understanding of your need to poon... " Spaceghosts response to another thread made me ponder the other side of the story.

Humour begates introspection? Haunting whispers indeed!

And then there is Paige. Paige rarely opens up on the board but when she does I always find her input fascinating.

I know of three seperate woman who have had their relationships destroyed by husbands who have had affairs. And the common thread is a PROFOUND resentment - not primarily with their husbands straying ways - but with the fact the adultery occurred within their own home.

Each is adamant that things would not have been so bad it it had occurred elsewhere. But by having it happen in their own home, the sense of hurt if magnified. Interesting.

Paige... you said you involvement with him wasn't 'serious', therefore you didn't mind if he 'played' while you were out of town. At what point do you mind if he 'pays to play' while you 'play for pay'?

One sp pm'd me and told me that an sp's job shouldn't impact their s/o because her sex with clients was not the same. She says Sp's don't get to choose 'whom they have sex with'. While that sex may be enjoyable and push various intimacy buttons, anoninimity, lack of choice, and a couple of bills beforehand somehow negated all of this.

As for Seksi Angel, she makes echos that sentiment saying, "I wouldnt allow him to. We go by the same theory that ,while it may be fun at times..its still for money , therefore a job." Adventurer speaks a similar thought and I appreciate both of their comments.

I have received numerous emails about my promised 'part 2' to the 'love after escorting' thread. I will touch on this last thought line in that posting.

By by far the most enjoyable thing I like about this board is that... even while being a smart-ass... someone is actually reading what I say.

Thanks to all those who send me pms and emails with thoughts you don't wish to post on the board.

I enjoy reading them all.

 

[Oberon]

Re: Here comes that question again...

I have always maintained that human beings live three distinct lives - a public life, a personal life and a secret life. Happiness is achieved when these three are in equilibrium. It follows then that, in order for a relationship to be successful, your SO critically needs to be aware of, and made part of these three.

Relationships begin to fail when your SO is excluded from any of these three lives. Oh sure, the relationship can continue to exist, but like a ship without a rudder, it loses its sense of direction and becomes easily prone to further damages caused by the storms we inevitably encounter throughout our lives. These storms reveal the flaws within, but we lack the strength required to hold fast, and stay the course over time.

OK I don't quite know where to start, funny I tought I was the only person who though this way. I do have all three of those lives going on... My wife was allowed into two of the three .... then it all fell apart (big time). I find it kind of an oxymoron sharing a secret life but it appears that is what is needed... I've got a real desire to keep what is secret ... well secret; even the unimportant stuff and I now know first hand the carnage that can cause.... So now my secret life is not secret it's open.... of course things are much better now... duh.... To be frank it is not easy but I do agree that it does appear to be the only way in the long run..

Oberon

 

[blondeluver]

Re: You're makin fun of me..

No Alex, I was not making fun at you at all. That was a sincere compliment from the heart. I was in a relationship with a SP and even though I gave her everything, including my heart... she never did quit the biz to be with me. Now, to find someone that is willing to do that, and someone who puts love and happiness over biz, are a true gem in my opinion. Hence why I said whoever he will be, he is a darn lucky guy.

aren't ya?

 

[spaceghost]

Re: Re: You're makin fun of me..

she never did quit the biz to be with me.

Blondeluver... the first impression I get from reading your comment is that it was important to you that she quit the biz to be with you. And that despite your giving your all... it could not work if she did not quit.

Tell us why it was so important.

 

[blondeluver]

Well SG, if you must know, then I can tell you that I will share anything in life, even woman. However, I can not share the woman that is my SO. Yes, when love is involved, it really changes everything. Another thing is that I wanted to be able to have a normal after work conversation with her instead of something like these…

Me: Hi Honey, how was your day?
Her: Great! Got 3 calls so not bad at all. Had a new client too today.
Me: Oh ya? Good for you! How did it go?
Her: 2 were Regs, and the new guy was a pig.
Me: Why’s that?
Her: He didn’t shave before coming over, and DATY like sucking on a lollipop and it hurts.
Me: Why didn’t you tell him to stop because it was hurting you?
Her: Well, I did and he tried to change but he just didn’t know how to do it. Finally, I just had to fake that I cum so he could stop. Now, it is all tender and sore….blah blah..

Or something likes this….

Me: Oh…you got quite a few bruises on your inner thighs
Her: Ya…the client was a bit rough today.
Me: Oh ya, new one?
Her: No, he is a reg. didn’t know what got into him today, and my hips are tired and sore too. He wanted cowgirl the whole time.

I guess it is different if she is just a lover/girlfriend. But it is different when you are in love and especially when she kept telling you she loves you too. I have nothing against SP’s or this biz but I would hope that she could leave this chapter of her life behind and moved on to her next goal like she said she would. Hence why the comments on Alex’s post that “whoever that man would be, he is a darn lucky guy for sure” if Alex fell for him.

 

[blondeluver]

Thanks Alex. That's so gentle and kind of you.

 

[blondeluver]

Sure... it has been a long time since I chatted with that little furry friend.

 

[spaceghost]

Thanks Blondeluver...

We often see comments that argue that an sp's sex 'is a job, it's for money and - therefore - there is no emotional intimacy'.

When the sp goes home to her s/o, that is when the intimacy begins and the two should not interfere with each other.

But seperating sex and intimacy is not easily achieved for many men. That is why so many sp's have had to deal with 'jealous client syndrome'.

I suspect, regardless of the sundry problems that usually serve as the catalyst for a breakup, that this is really the root of so many breakups working sp's have with their b/f's

 

[blondeluver]

No problem SG. A SP's sex can be a job and it is for money but it doesn't mean she won't care about the client nor she won't be able to have any emotional intimacy. I think it all depends on the SP too, and hence why we had comments like "she is very mechanical" or "she is a great lover and responds very well". I don't think I was being jealous at all in my situation. I was just drowning in the sea of romance and love, and hoping that the relationship could have a beautiful and happy ending like those in a movie or book. You know, the ones that both people are in love and living happily forever. That ¡s all!

 

[Storm]

Thanks for sharing a bit about your experience blondeluver. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. If you don't mind me asking how long did you end up waiting for her before you couldn't take it anymore?

 

[blondeluver]

A year or maybe a bit over a year. I believe in fate, so it is ok that it didn't work out. Everything happened for a reason in life but thanks for the support though. I am over that already and is enjoying what life has to offer.

Thanks for sharing a bit about your experience blondeluver. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. If you don't mind me asking how long did you end up waiting for her before you couldn't take it anymore?

 

[poonpro]

Well, this is not that tough of an issue...really. It has a lot to do with the culture in which you were raised. In the Asian areas, sex is not the same as love, therefore it can be strictly employment to work as an SP. In the European and North American mind, sex is synonymous with the love concept and the fact that it is really just the most pleasureable form of a workout with a smattering of human comfort thrown in is not the acceptable mindset. This is why the Asian population is simply more advanced in this hard-wired behavioral trait. I could dig living with an SP like adventure boy, but what the hell would she always be talking about?