Ladies - Older guys with ED problem

[IslandMonger]

I would like to hear from SPs about their views on having clients with severe ED problems, as in trouble maintaining an erection.

I'm one of those older guys (over 65) and am single. Even Viagra and Cialis don't help much in getting it up. I don't have a SO because I don't want to inflict my problem on a steady GF. But it still fun to have a sex experience occasionally. The SPs I have encountered have all seemed to be understanding and want to be helpful. Especially older SPs, 30+.

I am very clean, good looking and very respectful of SPs and love their company. The encounter may come down to DFK and playing without penetration. Actually an enthusiastic BBBJ seems to work best for me but most SPs do not have that on their menu.

BTW. I love DATY and have been told by many women that I give superb head.

What is your view?

IslandMonger in Victoria

 

[mclovin76]

get checked for hypertension seems to be the most common problem among 60 plus range males that inhibits erections, and your blood sugar levels. Good luck dont give up it could b a matter of chemistry as well. In the chinese horoscope it tells you who your sexual partner should b and have the greatest chemistry with. It works, whenever i ( fire dragon ) get with a girl who is a horse ( not literally ) i go fucking bananas.

 

[IslandMonger]

Thanks, but I am not looking for medical advice

Thank you mclovin76 for trying to be helpful. Unfortunately, my medical situation is complex. I moved west from Boston a few years ago. Doctors at Harvard Medical School were not about to find a solution.

Yes, chemistry and the enthusiasm of the SP are obviously important issues.

The point of this thread is to find out if I need to look for a particular kind of SP and whether the issue should be discussed with her or her "receptionist" before hand.

A

 

[Miss*Bijou]

Hi,


Yes, I think bringing it up is a good idea for a few reasons. Of course, it's best to know ahead of time that the services you are interested in are on the menu, and even if you already know they are, by discussing it honestly beforehand, the sp knows what to expect. What I mean is that there are guys who may have this problem, and either it is a new issue or they are just hoping (or in denial) that they will be able to get/maintain an erection.


I know not to take it personally, that it's just the way it is for whatever reason (medical, alcohol, condoms, nerves, delaying ejaculation for too long, etc), it doesn't offend me, insult me or affect my confidence they way it might for an SO - so that's not the problem.

What is the problem, is for the guys who are very much not wanting to give up and get more and more stressed out about not being able to maintain the erection in order to ejaculate.. They really get focused on that *only* which gets them upset, kills the mood, and then THAT'S when I feel bad. Not that I am just going to give up right away if this happens, but there comes a point when it's time to stop focusing on that, and just enjoy the rest. Some guys are unable to do that. That's when I don't find it pleasant. And I end up feeling bad and disappointed for them and along with them, which is completely pointless and ruins an otherwise great session for both him and I.


However - if someone were to tell me ahead of time, or even when we meet, that this is a known problem, that they are ok with it and that their expectation/desire is simply to enjoy other kinds of play and the overall experience, I would be totally cool with that. Some girls may not be, and then they could choose not to take the appointment, which would avoid an uncomfortable situation for both. Or some girls may not be comfortable providing only those services and prefer appointments that include fs for the most part, and again, this would avoid a lame time for you.


Honestly though, this isn't just specific to your questions but I think this goes for pretty much anything - no matter what, it's always a better idea to discuss it with an sp, either beforehand or at least when you see her because it makes it easier for us to make sure you have a good time. Some people think we are or should be mind readers, or that because they prefer something a certain way or dislike something else, that it's somehow universal and ALL men are the same so 'we should just know' (you notice it when reading reviews, sometimes guys will complain a gilr did or didn't do something, like she should know.. and I just think to myself that I know lots of guys who are just the opposite!), which isn't a fair or realistic expectation.


If you communicate something specific to the sp, then it's up to her to tell you whether or not it works for her. If she agrees and then she doesn't follow through, it's her fault. But if you don't say anything, and doesn't do whatever it is you would like her to, then I'm sorry boys, but it is your fault.


So, yes. Do tell her ahead of time! I hope this answers your question..

 

[lady kassandra]

ED opens a lot of doors for different pleasure!

I study sexuality and have worked with people who wish to expand their sexual horizons. Difficulty with erections is another area that I specialize in.

There are a number of health and medication related concerns that can chemically effect erections. Sexual responses vary greatly from person to person and change over time with age and different occurrences in life. The most common cause for ED is emotional. When someone exeriences the stress of the body not complying with what the mind wants to do, stress can be increased, which only makes the ED worse.

I think that many SPs will understand the situation, especially if told beforehand. In fact, by eliminating the expectation for penetration, you may find that your erection is easier to obtain and maintain.

I have seen a number of people who, for various reasons are unable to experience erection, however they can certainly experience orgasm, and both give and receive pleasure. Removing penetration from the menu can open a lot of opportunities for experiencing alternate types of pleasure and really exploring the body and sensations.

If there is a medical issue(s) involved, you may want to talk to you doctor. A great resource for these types of issues is a book called The New Male Sexuality by Dr. Bernie Zilbergeld. This is an excellent book with exercises and activities to do either alone or with a partner.

As for ladies, there are a few of us who have specialized in this area. Irresistable Isabelle and myself both work with sexual education and therapy. A lot of other ladies are very good at entertaining gentlemen with a variety of activities and sensations.

Feel free to contact me if you wish.

I hope that you find what you are looking for...

Cheers,
Kassandra

 

[westcoast555]

Do you exercise?

Thank you mclovin76 for trying to be helpful. Unfortunately, my medical situation is complex. I moved west from Boston a few years ago. Doctors at Harvard Medical School were not about to find a solution.

Yes, chemistry and the enthusiasm of the SP are obviously important issues.

The point of this thread is to find out if I need to look for a particular kind of SP and whether the issue should be discussed with her or her "receptionist" before hand.

A

Do you get hard at other times? Your best chance is to improve your cardiovascular system. I'm sure you do have a complex medical problem but ED is either psychological or, more often, an indicator of underlying cardio-vascular problems.

See if you can run a few miles 3 times a week, if that doesn't help, nothing will. Just a thought - I'm not a physician.

I do hope to be able to get decent wood into my sunset years.

 

[IslandMonger]

Thanks Miss*Bijou and lady kassandra.

Your answers will certainly be helpful to many older gentlemen.

Miss*Bijou. For me, maintaining an erection is a known problem and I accept it, so my expectation/desire is simply to enjoy other kinds of play and the overall experience. As I said above, older SPs seem to be more accepting of this option. However I have met younger SPs (early 20s) who have been real sweethearts about both of us having a really good time without FS.

I have been reluctant to go into any detail over the phone or by email with a new service. I lived in the US for 15 years before coming to Victoria. In the US, because of legal issues, SPs will NOT verbally discuss or respond to email about explicit sexual issues.

lady kassandra. My problems are all most certainly medication - related and nothing can be done about that; the meds must be taken. Thanks for the reference to “The New Male Sexuality”.

When I first moved here I met a lovely lady who was only temporarily in the business and adored older men. Unfortunately, for me, her financial problems were soon gone. But I do have great memories.

A

 

[FortunateOne]

When informing the sp, it doesn`t need to be a long conversation. Just letting her know that you are not looking for fs should be enough. I think the older sps may work out better also because they tend to have more of a varied menu. They don`t just have a set price for time, whatever may happen, but a much lower rate for say a hj or bj finish. If you can find one person to see over time, and you know it is possible to do fs at some time, it might be more likely to happen with a regular.

You want to try Lucy I think.

https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=96264&highlight=lucy

 

[Violet]

I agree with Bijou & Kassandra. I have seen many clients with this "problem" (of all ages & with a wide variety of reasons behind it), some of whom were totally ok with it & used to it, & some who were very embarassed & convinced that it only happened to them. I have actually had numerous clients with ED who said or wrote emphatic thank-yous & told me that their session with me helped them greatly in feeling better about themselves & their non-cooperating body parts. I am sure many other SPs have experienced this as well. For those men who are already resigned to the fact that they have permanent ED & aren't having any self-esteem issues or anything because of it, they are just happy to have someone who is understanding, non-judgemental, & willing to work around any limitations they may have. There are so many other fun things one can do in bed even if actual intercourse isn't possible!

I have plenty more to say on the subject, but so much has been well-said in this thread by the other ladies (& some of the gents) already. But let me just add that for me personally it does not make any difference to me whether a client has ED or not, as I provide a very personalized experience & indulge in different activities with every person I see.

The only time it has ever bothered me was not really about the ED itself but because of the way that the client dealt with it, for example refusing to admit that it was not erect & not going to become erect & trying incessantly to have intercourse anyway, going way over their alloted time, or becoming angry & saying that this never happens to them & they want their money back.

I have to disagree with FortunateOne though, when she says that it would be best to go with an older SP. I can understand her reasoning, but I think there are also many young SPs who are very adept at dealing with ED, or who might even be willing to work out a lower rate or longer amount of time if those (time/money) were issues. I think a better choice of words might be to go with an experienced SP. Mainly because they would have more experience with the issue & would also possibly have learned how to be more tactful & patient in dealing with all different types of clients & physical abilities, (& would be less likely to care or think it is something that they did wrong). Also an independent SP might be a good choice, since they usually are able to provide less rushed service. Not to knock agency girls in any way, but sometimes it is out of their control & they do not have the option of letting the client stay for a few extra minutes so they may have to be a bit more time-oriented. Of course doing some research & reading some reviews to find out the lady's menu, level of service & patience & how she treats her clients, etc, is a good idea.

 

[sevenofnine]

to be honest with you,

my performance isn't quite what i want it to be either,
im still in my fifties, but just getting old,

and really the ladies don't care, as long as you don't start demanding your money back or blaming them,

and if she does mind find some one else.

oral sex is best, i remember a doctor, explaining it,
good oral sex acts like a vacume gives negative pressure, thus allowing good blood flow.
compared to the pressure of being inside her which can cut down blood flow,


i don't know if its right or not,
i just know for me, i get a very nice sensation, when the lady takes me in her mouth, she can constantly stimulate me with her tongue her lips, her hands, bare back or not it doesn't matter for me,
maybe its the visual as well, im getting of on, because i like positions and i pull her hair back so that i can look at her sucking my cock, and i have one hand free to roam, or maybe just the mental perception of it,
i really don't know what it is, but oral sex, usually works for me,
and we can achieve blast off,

when im inside her, i tend to loose all feeling all sensation down there, and loose it,

cialus helps for me, i have had success with it,
but my suppy ran out, and some one mentioned, don't use it until you really need it, because it will mess you up when the time comes,

and i don't think im there yet, so i havent' really sought out a new supply,

there seems to be some logic to this,
i was using cialus for not quite a year until my supply dried up,
for awhile it felt like i had nothing there,
so i would concur don't use it unless you really need to,

another thing,
don't masturbate, don't even think about sex, until the moment comes,
and just let it all hang out.

and one final thought, achieveing orgasim, sex, is the objective right,
but really there are lots of things you can do with a lady,

if you can get your mind out of the orgasim or broke mode or sex or nothing way of thinking,

oral sex on her, toys, etc, etc, etc,
if the lady is willing,
and if not you have to find the right one,
who will let you explore and be creative,

 

[kalel]

islandmonger:

without knowing much about you i can only offer two ideas:

1) make sure you are physically active and working out and getting blood flowing to all parts of your body.

2) testosterone therapy. whether you get it from your doctor or from some guy at the gym i don't think it matters but most of the times as your testosterone levels decline with age so does sexual performance. viagra and cialis are meant to be a temporary fix, overuse will lead to adaptation by the body to the point where they are no longer as effective or worse not effective at all.

 

[mimi]

I know a fellow with this situation. In his case he can have the occasional erection but it doesn't last longer than a heavy sigh. He enjoys about an hour of soft stroking of the penis, but, as he nears orgasm and his body is all tight and trembling, and his testicles firm, the penis will suddenly go soft and he loses it. This may happen 3 or 4 times in the evening.

What is really sad is that his Doctor is only too happy to throw Viagra and Cialis at him in ever larger doses. Why is that sad? Because upon researching his meds we discovered that his BP medication has a reputation for contributing to the symptoms I described above. One would hope that a doctor would know this, and also know that Viagra and Cialis cannot overcome this. This man is in his eighties and the larger doses were giving him headaches, among other side affects.

ED is not related to age. I know a fellow who is 90 and has raging hard-ons every day. He has never smoked or drank alcohol in his entire life. They will have trouble nailing his coffin lid down firmly! Another man I know told me his father was 70 when he was born and he remembers that in his 90's his father was still dragging his mom into the bedroom. They were Muslim and did not smoke or drink.

Just a note to the young fellows on here...ED is related to illness, most often diabetes and heart disease, but, also Parkinson's and MS, or poor health choices, obesity, drinking, smoking etc....(which lead to heart disease and diabetes...)

Stay clean and you stand a better chance of having sex well into your '90's! End of lecture...exit stage left...

 

[Sonny]

Even Viagra and Cialis don't help much in getting it up.

See your urologist and inquire about prostategladin.