Ladies, How Common is it....

[Rammstein69]

...for a client to request a platonic date? Nothing sexual, just like a first date, just getting to know each other over a nice dinner for example.

It just seems like a natural progression for an old fashioned guy like me. Not all of us can just hop into intimacy on the spur of the moment with a stranger.

Is this an unusual request? I've never had a ONS or even 'casual' sex; always had a strong relationship formed before intimacy. I know these are pretty expensive dinner dates, but at this point I just need to reconnect socially with women before jumping into sex. Good idea? Crazy idea?

 

[Kevin101]

I think it is a good idea if you have the money. The sex would feel better/be better because you two have got to know each other and then you might know "she is your type" kind of thing.

I'm not sure if it is common on a first date... might be common on like a third or fourth date maybe? But there is nothing wrong with it. It is your money, you earned it and don't you think you should spend it how you would like to?

 

[Harmony-bc]

I have had quite a few social dates, out for dinner and dancing, cuddle time, sex or no sex. That is why I offer it on my site. It is actually quite a common request and not weird at all. I think the reason you don't see many reviews on this kind of date is because a lot of the guys (mainly young guys) would rail at you for spending that much money for what they would refer to as nothing. A lot of men are just missing female companionship of an intimate nature, which goes beyond physical sex.

If I might make an suggestion though, research her very well. Some girls are great at fucking, but not so great at making you feel special outside of the bedroom. Don't just read a few sexual reviews and go there's the girl for me. Pay attention to the whole picture, and you will have a fabulous time, and when the sex happens, it will be incredible, because you flirted your way up to it.

 

[Violet]

It is very common, much more common than some guys around here seem to think. I have had a lot of these kind of appts, or also appts that start out with, say, dinner & conversation etc, & then with the option of taking things furthur if the guy wants. Some SPs, such as myself, offer lower prices for "social calls", or have "consultations" where you can meet & just get to know each other, which is easier on the pocketbook if you aren't prepared to spend the FS rate of $200-$300 an hour just to talk or go on a date. If there's a specific lady you have in mind you can always ask her if she offers lower-priced social appts. Even if you're ok with paying full-price, it's a good idea to discuss your plans with the SP beforehand. Some girls do not offer social calls at all, & some do not want to go out in public & would only offer it as an incall (or perhaps at your place). Good luck & I hope you find a lady that you connect with

EDIT: Didn't see Harmony's post before I posted mine, (we were writing them at the same time), I also agree with everything she said

 

[Small pleasures]

Each SP will have their own answer.

I have gone for dinner many times with existing clients but only a couple of times with new/unknown ones.

For existing clients they would compensate me beyond the nice meal in different ways.

I have had clients give me gift certificates for the spa ($50-$200), books, CD's or movies they thought I'd find interesting, chocolates or wine they thought I'd like, etc. Of course cash is king but the thought and effort that went into the gifts meant a lot too.

I usually didn't charge an hourly rate for a dinner date but I always knew it wasn't JUST dinner. There was always a paid session before or after. I love going for nice dinners and often found spending this casual time together made my job overall more fulfilling.

To attempt to answer the original question, yes, I would happily go for just dinner with a potential client whether the plan was to session right after or another day if he felt comfortable. I would charge in that case though. Probably $200 for 3 hours. (Since I rarely offer FS and only when I feel comfortable with a client this option would actually appeal to me a great deal.)

 

[Lady Companion]

It's very common

Much moreso than the boards would ever suggest. I suppose the social seeking demographic is not really the power poster demographic ;-)

In actuality, about 25% of my suitors NEVER desire any kind of intimate encounter (beyond linking arms, a friendly hug etc.). They simply desire companionship in the traditional sense, wrought with great conversation, bantering and socializing.

A number of these gentlemen are businessmen, and simply desire a meaninful, human connection while they are on the road. One they continue to develop and build on each time they are in town.

I would say about half of my gentlemen friends are a hybrid. The conversation and emotional/intellectual connection is an intergral part of each liaison, and sometimes it ends with intimacy, and sometimes it doesn't

The other 25% of my gentlemen friends enjoy the conversation, laughter and flirting, but this is more of a bonus as opposed to their main reason for visiting.

There are ladies who cater to every desire out there, and finding one who you find appealing on multiple levels is very important.

I really don't think any lady would find it peculiar that you desired a more 'traditional' progression to intimacy. In fact, you will likely find that the intimate part is multitudes better after taking the time to forge a 'real' relationship together (without the strings attached of course! )

I truly hope you have a wonderful and memorable experience with whomever you choose to spend your time with!

 

[sevenofnine]

i wish more ladies would offer a social rate.
or advertize one, if they do. or just a meet and greet rate.

is it a questions of money, is that the only reason why, and time spent.
emailing with a guy endlessly and he only wants a social encounter, instead of a fs encounter with, the full price.


there is a whole industry in japan, built around ladies just have social encounters with guys in bars.

 

[kalel]

okay. how many of you would go on a date with a client if it was just a date, just for the company of the other person or just as something fun to do. as in no $$ for it above and beyond just the payment of dinner?

 

[InTheBum]

Not my bag...

Personally, I could never pay a women to just hang out with and be "social". It would actually irritate me knowning she isn't doing much to earn a lot of money (most of us, have to bust our asses to make a buck ya know!?). In addition, there is a strong probability just going through the motions and has canned responses/comments, after she gets good at it.


But that is just me...

 

[Thais]

okay. how many of you would go on a date with a client if it was just a date, just for the company of the other person or just as something fun to do. as in no $$ for it above and beyond just the payment of dinner?

You have to understand that a woman who says that she does will be drowned in requests from guys, who are then likely to take offense if she refuses to go on a date with them.

Just think of the numbers of people even low volume SPs see, and how little time they would have to actually live their lives if they agreed to such requests.

Can this happen? Yes. Is this a very rare exception? Absolutely.

 

[kalel]

.

You have to understand that a woman who says that she does will be drowned in requests from guys, who are then likely to take offense if she refuses to go on a date with them.

Just think of the numbers of people even low volume SPs see, and how little time they would have to actually live their lives if they agreed to such requests.

Can this happen? Yes. Is this a very rare exception? Absolutely.

why should they get offended? it's not like every girl they meet on the street would say yes. plus she can always say that she doesn't date clients to let them down gently and say that her words on perb were just business.

too many egos to deal with (mine included) but one of the nice things about this hobby is that if there's an sp who would normally say no to you in a regular life setting, you can still bang her for her going rate. fuck i wish i could have run high school like this

but if an sp does say yes to a date, WITHOUT it being considered billable hours it does show a human side to her. however past experience tells me that very few of them are worth dating, mostly because the ones i dated were self absorbed and were used to guys bending over backwards to do everything for them. luckily there were a few that weren't like that.

 

[kalel]

.

I wouldn't. Why? Because I'm not in the dating scene, number 1 (I'm too much of a wanderer, I really don't want to string anyone along). Number 2, because who's gonna pay for the ice cream if people think you're giving away the truck for free?

i suppose there's too long of a debate ensuing here, but long story short, i can't see why anybody would pay to date the ice cream truck driver if you're not getting any ice cream!

i'm sorry, but ITB said it better - what good would it be to date a woman who you're paying to sit there and give you canned answers? if i wanted lies i'd talk to a politician.

 

[Thais]

why should they get offended? it's not like every girl they meet on the street would say yes. plus she can always say that she doesn't date clients to let them down gently and say that her words on perb were just business.

Because if they know that she does it for certain exceptions, and yet she says "no" to them, then they also know it IS mostly business in their case. And the longing for GFE is based on the feeling of it not being business. When focus is shifted from authenticity itself to its transactional boundaries, the magic can be easily lost. And with it, the client

And to say yes to any client who wants and needs compassion and understanding - because in every client there is something nice, human, and vulnerable; something you as an SP can respond to - is to commit an enormous amount of time and energy. Time and energy that are taken away from work and the rest of her life, family, and friends.

but if an sp does say yes to a date, WITHOUT it being considered billable hours it does show a human side to her.

So to prove to YOU that she has a human side, she needs to sacrifice her life spending every evening of it on unpaid dates, or sacrifice her business losing clients who now have been told to their face that they are just good clients, nothing more... Because there is no mechanism to distinguish which clients she should accept an uncompensated date from, and which ones she shouldn't.
I don't think that's likely to happen and most SPs would just be quite happy with you being ignorant of their "human side".

P.S. I am simply trying to show you the can of worms this idea is opening up and why most SPs may have social rates but are so adamant about not - ever! - spending uncompensated time with clients. Although realistically, sometimes friendships develop and it can happen.

 

[kalel]

.

So to prove to YOU that she has a human side, she needs to sacrifice her life spending every evening of it on unpaid dates, or sacrifice her business losing clients who now have been told to their face that they are just good clients, nothing more... Because there is no mechanism to distinguish which clients she should accept an uncompensated date from, and which ones she shouldn't.
I don't think that's likely to happen and most SPs would just be quite happy with you being ignorant of their "human side".

P.S. I am simply trying to show you the can of worms this idea is opening up and why most SPs may have social rates but are so adamant about not - ever! - spending uncompensated time with clients. Although realistically, sometimes friendships develop and it can happen.

no genius, there's nothing to prove to me. and who said anything about EVERY evening. i'm simply saying that paying for the date itself is something that alot of men wouldn't, couldn't, or shouldn't do. and the point that you seem to be missing is that for many of us it doesn't really feel like a date if you know you paid for the time and fake laughs, fake interest, and a fake "i had a great time". and if it weren't fake then you probably could have dated many other girls who would have appreciated just having your time. as it stands i'm a terrible date! i'm shallow and manipulative, i know nothing about current events, i've never been to the museum or art gallery. and to top it off i usually only go on the date because it's with somebody equally as shallow and we both know it's physical attraction with a somewhat guaranteed ending.

 

[treveller]

Nothing is Simple, Everything is Connected

This is interesting.

Even within the framework of professional services, money for intimacy, there are the complications of emotion and personal expectations just like all the other significant interactions between people. There is less difference between the sex trade and all the rest of life than some people seem to expect.

We continue to need kindness, respect and a sense of humour.

 

[Rammstein69]

Well, I certainly understand how some guys would have a hard time justifying putting out good money (even at a reduced rate) for mere socializing, knowing full well that the date will end with more of a wimper than a bang, so to speak.

Bear in mind though, that we're not all at the same level socially, emotionally, or experience wise. I suspect with many of you, the main reason you use the services of SP's is simply to fast-track the steps of the dating process to arrive quickly to the sexual act. Many guys have no problem meeting, flirting, and seducing women whenever and wherever they choose. Of course there's a myriad of reasons why we see SP's.

We're not all wired that way though. Maybe I'm the anomoly, but I tend to get more of a rise out of flirting and intimacy than I get from sex. I always found the thrill of the chase to be more fulfilling than the catch. In fact, sex has been a disappointment, many a time.

Personally, I wouldn't ask (or expect) an SP to volunteer her time with no expectation of payment. At the end of the day, it is after all, still just a business transaction, whether you're paying for her body or just her company.

I know how to treat a lady when we're on a date, and in a relationship. I just have problems breaking the ice and being casual, funny, and relaxed around them. If paying for casual dinner dates helps me in this regard, then it's well worth my $.

 

[Harmony-bc]

I do not think it is professional to blur the lines between personal and business. It could be horribly confusing to some lonely men.

I can afford to buy my own food and I don't date in my personal life. I'm not interested in having a boyfriend, I have tons of friends to do things with. It makes no sense (to me) to go out for a free meal with a client. I have gone night clubbing, to sporting events, boating, dinner, and conventions, all with people compensating me for my time. I had so much fun at these places with these men. I might have had just as much fun, if I had gone for free, but then I probably would have chosen to work instead and the gentlemen would have had to go by themselves.

I like a lot of my clients a lot. I think some of them are really sexy. Some of them are great, intelligent, wonderful people. I prefer to keep it professional. Keeps my life simpler that way, and I have noticed most people really appreciate professionalism.

 

[sonoman]

if there's an sp who would normally say no to you in a regular life setting, you can still bang her for her going rate. fuck i wish i could have run high school like this

You and me both!

 

[sevenofnine]

its not wise to disagree with thais,
she is one of the smartest ladies around.
and i happen to agree with her most of the time.

and she is right on this, it is pretty foolish for a lady to start going on upaid dates with clients or potential clients that being said, some ladies are very free with there time with clients they happen to get along with, the lines sometimes get blurred, and yes it can get confussing,
but i would add not only for lonely men but for lonely sp's as well

i have found that every lady has there own sense of what is business, and what is pleasure and personal and where that line is drawn

and i would say there is no right or wrong.
if two people find friendship, who is to say its wrong.


and i would say just as an aside,
one of the biggest misconeptions i have had in this hobby is
that sp's aren't that smart.


every sp i have met i would say is above average in intelligence,
there quick there witty, and some of them have amazing educations, or are working on amazing educations.
even ladies who have no education to speak of who perhaps don't come across as that smart, stop and listen to them, many of them have done really well for themselves finicially. and are extremely smart,
i have yet to find a dumb sp.