Well, it's that time of year again, and as everybody knows the holidays can be tough when you're on your own. I'll admit that I've been feeling the blues since I lost my girl. A house landed on her.
Fortunately, I stumbled across this odd little Internet village of Perberts, dancing their funny little dance and singing their funny little Perbert songs (mostly about TOFTT-ing). The Perberts told me to follow the Yellow Brick Road, to the Great North. What a brilliant idea. As a Newbie, I felt it was my duty to start off on the right foot, in this case, by TOFTT-ing with the famous Ice Princess, Audrey.
I arrived by seaplane Thursday night, but decided to postpone my adventures to the next day, as I was still haunted by the image of the sea otters at Stanley Park licking their bums. In the morning I arose, free from all thoughts of otters, and ventured forth to the Wyld Orchid, where the Princess Audrey lies in frosty repose. I regret to report that the mixed reviews speak the truth.
Oh to be sure, she stood there an exquisite goddess, apallingly, achingly beautiful, soft smooth flawless skin tantalizing to the touch. Irresistably beautiful, from her matchless face to her lovely toes. And those perfect breasts, now of legend! As someone who once practically lived in strip clubs, I have seen and touched thousands of breasts, and can attest to the fact that hers are indeed completely perfect. I felt like Percival having found the Holy Grail. Alas, all this the makes what follows all the more bitterly disappointing. But, as a neophyte, I was determined to earn my keep by TOFTT...
Oh, man, it's late, I gotta go to sleep.
I'll finish this TOFTT report tomorrow. G'nite, fellow Perberts.
Fortunately, I stumbled across this odd little Internet village of Perberts, dancing their funny little dance and singing their funny little Perbert songs (mostly about TOFTT-ing). The Perberts told me to follow the Yellow Brick Road, to the Great North. What a brilliant idea. As a Newbie, I felt it was my duty to start off on the right foot, in this case, by TOFTT-ing with the famous Ice Princess, Audrey.
I arrived by seaplane Thursday night, but decided to postpone my adventures to the next day, as I was still haunted by the image of the sea otters at Stanley Park licking their bums. In the morning I arose, free from all thoughts of otters, and ventured forth to the Wyld Orchid, where the Princess Audrey lies in frosty repose. I regret to report that the mixed reviews speak the truth.
Oh to be sure, she stood there an exquisite goddess, apallingly, achingly beautiful, soft smooth flawless skin tantalizing to the touch. Irresistably beautiful, from her matchless face to her lovely toes. And those perfect breasts, now of legend! As someone who once practically lived in strip clubs, I have seen and touched thousands of breasts, and can attest to the fact that hers are indeed completely perfect. I felt like Percival having found the Holy Grail. Alas, all this the makes what follows all the more bitterly disappointing. But, as a neophyte, I was determined to earn my keep by TOFTT...
Oh, man, it's late, I gotta go to sleep.
I'll finish this TOFTT report tomorrow. G'nite, fellow Perberts.
