Just for fun: Client has heart attack in session?

[Volpina Vance]

I'm chatting with Miss Lux, and we're curious if any SPs have actually experienced this TV scenario:

Older gent visits, gets a little too excited, succumbs to a heart attack, and remains pulse-less on your bed.

We're trying to decide on the best line to give the paramedics!

 

[j1tanamera]

I guess the best line would be that you were so HOT that your client got a massive boner, all the blood rushed to fill his penis, that he got a heart attack! Maybe call the fire department too, cuz you're SIZZILING HOT!!!

 

[vancity_cowboy]

'poor old guy knocked on the door saying he needed to take a nap real bad - he must have died in his sleep...'

 

[Thelyhi]

The color purple movie.

 

[Volpina Vance]

I guess the best line would be that you were so HOT that your client got a massive boner, all the blood rushed to fill his penis, that he got a heart attack! Maybe call the fire department too, cuz you're SIZZILING HOT!!!

Thanks, j1tanamera! The firemen might be the silver lining in the situation, yum.

The color purple movie.

I've never watched/read this, but I know it's quite heavy. Which is the relevant bit?

 

[storm rider]

Just as he came....he went ound:

SR

 

[SFMIKE]

How about?: He came. he went, he gone.

 

[Gentle-man]

Well... He wanted to go out while on top!

Can you make sure to note the smile on the medical report and can I get a copy of that for my website?

Man! Third time this month!

Well the soldier died at his post... Standing at full attention though he was out of uniform!

 

[Volpina Vance]

Well... He wanted to go out while on top!

Can you make sure to note the smile on the medical report and can I get a copy of that for my website?

Man! Third time this month!

Well the soldier died at his post... Standing at full attention though he was out of uniform!

Haha, all excellent, but I especially love the second!

 

[Volpina Vance]

How about?: He came. he went, he gone.

Veni vidi vici, gotcha. Or, he came, he went, he knackered? Maybe not.

 

[vancity_cowboy]

'...might have been something he ate...'

 

[badbadboy]

He said he wanted me to fuck him like there is no tomorrow




I granted him his wish



:nod:

 

[Miss*Bijou]

not a heart attack....but he dislocated his hip.


I had no choice but to call 911 for an ambulance, as he was not able to move or get up.

The client happened to have just moved into the same building as me. I was over at his place and had brought my dog with me (at his request - to meet his dog )
.... so I said I was the dog walker and I'd found him on the floor, unable to get up.

(Neither one of us attempted to explain why he was buck naked though.)


I'm sure they bought it


(The elevator ride down with both paramedics and my client on a stretcher....well, can you say unbelievably awkward? Um. Yup.)

Good times....ound:

 

[Gentle-man]

not a heart attack....but he dislocated his hip.


I had no choice but to call 911 for an ambulance, as he was not able to move or get up.

The client happened to have just moved into the same building as me. I was over at his place and had brought my dog with me (at his request - to meet his dog )
.... so I said I was the dog walker and I'd found him on the floor, unable to get up.

(Neither one of us attempted to explain why he was buck naked though.)


I'm sure they bought it


(The elevator ride down with both paramedics and my client on a stretcher....well, can you say unbelievably awkward? Um. Yup.)

Good times....ound:

Très bien mademoiselle Bijou!
Gentle-man

 

[luvsdaty]

His wallet was empty & he didn't have any credit cards honest.Oh & that Rolex is my fathers!

 

[westcoastjoe]

avoid the paramedics.....
Step 1: carpet and duct tape.
Step2: pick up new area carpet at Ikea

 

[LittleAsianGuy]

Just say youre a massage therapist and he had a heart attack during the massage.

 

[susi]

this happened to me but it was a brain aneurysm. he was my long time regular but i hadn't seen him in a while. i learned later that he had recently suffered a stroke...like 3 weeks before our visit.

he was an older gentleman and used a penis pump to become erect...i guess the should have been my first clue that he was on blood thinners...anyway... we're going along...pump, pump, pump...suck,suck,suck, ...pump,pump.... now i am on top and he starts to sort of move strangely as if he were trying to get up....i said "are you alright?"...he didn't answer....just continued with the strange movement....i said " are you drunk?"....slowly it begins to dawn on me.... i thought "he wasn't drunk when he came in here...." oh shit!

he didn't answer me because he couldn't speak!! i told him to stay calm and lay still while i phone an ambulance at which point he grabbed my arm, unable to speak and paralyzed down one side, it was clear to me that he did not want to be found in my apartment. i helped him dress, and carried him to the lobby of the building where i called the ambulance.

they arrived and i was holding his hand while he lay on the floor. i told them i found him staggering up the street but i am sure it was pretty clear that i knew him. he was holding my hand so tight ...he looked terrified....

the next morning i am walking up from the gym and i see a mercedes parked on the street...i giggle and think, that's probably my clients car...i hope he is ok.

i get into my building and the land lady and homicide detectives are waiting for me...he died. fuck.

now the police are in my house and rummaging around questioning me. they ask " did he leave any personal possessions here?".....ehem...."yes" i reply..." his penis pump"... the detectives look at each other and the one says to the other...." you need one of these for your head!" we all started laughing.

i was arrested for murder as it was suspicious circumstances but was exhonorated later that day after enduring 7 hours of questioning and the police making me describe the sexual acts in detail and the other officers jokingly asking " i wonder if he died happy?"

a strange memoir to say the least but i would like to think he died happy.

i asked the police incidently if they had to tell his wife how he died. i figured she was at least 70 as he was 74 and that the news may kill her. they said they didn't have to tell her specifically but had to tell at least one family member how it happened. i requested on his behalf that it please be his brother or son for the sake of disscretion and they said they would do their best...

i mean the guys dead, let him have his dignity....he certainly went out with a bang!!

hope all are well!
love susie

 

[badbadboy]

this happened to me but it was a brain aneurysm. he was my long time regular but i hadn't seen him in a while. i learned later that he had recently suffered a stroke...like 3 weeks before our visit.

he was an older gentleman and used a penis pump to become erect...i guess the should have been my first clue that he was on blood thinners...anyway... we're going along...pump, pump, pump...suck,suck,suck, ...pump,pump.... now i am on top and he starts to sort of move strangely as if he were trying to get up....i said "are you alright?"...he didn't answer....just continued with the strange movement....i said " are you drunk?"....slowly it begins to dawn on me.... i thought "he wasn't drunk when he came in here...." oh shit!

he didn't answer me because he couldn't speak!! i told him to stay calm and lay still while i phone an ambulance at which point he grabbed my arm, unable to speak and paralyzed down one side, it was clear to me that he did not want to be found in my apartment. i helped him dress, and carried him to the lobby of the building where i called the ambulance.

they arrived and i was holding his hand while he lay on the floor. i told them i found him staggering up the street but i am sure it was pretty clear that i knew him. he was holding my hand so tight ...he looked terrified....

the next morning i am walking up from the gym and i see a mercedes parked on the street...i giggle and think, that's probably my clients car...i hope he is ok.

i get into my building and the land lady and homicide detectives are waiting for me...he died. fuck.

now the police are in my house and rummaging around questioning me. they ask " did he leave any personal possessions here?".....ehem...."yes" i reply..." his penis pump"... the detectives look at each other and the one says to the other...." you need one of these for your head!" we all started laughing.

i was arrested for murder as it was suspicious circumstances but was exhonorated later that day after enduring 7 hours of questioning and the police making me describe the sexual acts in detail and the other officers jokingly asking " i wonder if he died happy?"

a strange memoir to say the least but i would like to think he died happy.

i asked the police incidently if they had to tell his wife how he died. i figured she was at least 70 as he was 74 and that the news may kill her. they said they didn't have to tell her specifically but had to tell at least one family member how it happened. i requested on his behalf that it please be his brother or son for the sake of disscretion and they said they would do their best...

i mean the guys dead, let him have his dignity....he certainly went out with a bang!!

hope all are well!
love susie

Sorry to hear you had to go through all that stuff after the fact with your long term client. I was talking recently with a SP who sees a few gents in their 70's and 80's thumb: to those dudes still riding em at that age!) and she was explaining the extra effort she has to go through to help them out like tying their shoes and other stuff.


That story is sad and happy all at the same time to me.

Sometimes I wonder how I will meet my final demise. Doing it in a care facility (many friken years down the road I hope ), car accident, plane crash, stepping off the curb during rush hour in Vancouver or being ridden hard by my fav SP and something bursts that is not supposed to ever.

Easy to decide given those options.

 

[sevenofnine]

both of the escorts i have hung out with alot have told me it has happened to them

one right in the middle of a session she called 911 i guess he lived, don't really know
the other escort he collasped an hour after he left her incall.

being an older guy myself.
i have joked with these two ladies.
i told them don't worry about it

just put me in the blue recyle bin i told her.
one informed me i was not recylable i would have to go into the black box.
an argument ensued
she finally told me to shut,
when your dead, she will stuff me where ever the hell she wants