Joke

[Chingada]

A farmer walked into a drug store and said to the Pharmacist, "I want me one of them thar condoms with pesticides on it. Where do I find 'em?"

The pharmacist replied, "Oh sir, you must mean that you want the condoms with SPERMICIDE, not pesticide. They're on aisle 4."

"No, no, I want me them thar condoms with PESTICIDE on it," growled the farmer.

"Sir," said the pharmacist, exasperated from explaining, "PESTICIDE is for killing insects, SPERMICIDE is for killing sperm. I'm sure that you mean spermicide instead of pesticide."

"Listen here, " argued the farmer, "I want condoms with PESTICIDE on them. My wife's got a bug up her ass, and I aim to kill it!"

 

[hitrack]

 

[LonelyGhost]

A lawyer is getting out of his BMW when another car rips the door off ... the lawyer starts yelling "my beemer! my beemer!" when this cop pulls up, gets out and looks at the lawyer and says:"you lawyers are so materialistic!" The lawyer gets all huffy and says:"but he tore the door off my beemer!" And the cop replies:"yeah, but he also tore off your arm!!!" The lawyer looks down and sees his arm missing and starts yelling: "My Rolex! My Rolex!"

 

[Chingada]

Simple Simon and Mike were watching the 6 o'clock news. The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge.

Mike turns to Simon and says, " I bet you $50 the man is going to jump."Simon replies, "Okay you're on." Sure enough, the man jumps, and Simon gives Mike $50.

Mike says, "I can't accept this money. I watched the 5 o'clock news and saw the man jump then." "No, you have to take it," says Simon.

"I watched the 5 o'clock news too, but I didn't think he would do it again."