Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly.
"My darling Becky," he whispered.
"Hush, my love," she said. "Rest. Shhh, don't talk."
He was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice. "I . . . I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Becky.
"Everything's all right, go to sleep."
"No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I . . . I slept with your Sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your Mother!
I know" Becky whispered softly. "That's why I poisoned you.
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"MEN ARE LIKE..
Men are like... place mats. They only show up when there's food on the table.
Men are like... mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like... bike helmets. Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.
Men are like... government bonds. They take so long to mature.
Men are like... parking spots. All the good ones are taken.
Men are like... copiers. You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.
Men are like... lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that
bright.
Men are like... bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.
Men are like... high heels. They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
Men are like... miniskirts. If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.
"My darling Becky," he whispered.
"Hush, my love," she said. "Rest. Shhh, don't talk."
He was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice. "I . . . I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Becky.
"Everything's all right, go to sleep."
"No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I . . . I slept with your Sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your Mother!
I know" Becky whispered softly. "That's why I poisoned you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"MEN ARE LIKE..
Men are like... place mats. They only show up when there's food on the table.
Men are like... mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like... bike helmets. Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.
Men are like... government bonds. They take so long to mature.
Men are like... parking spots. All the good ones are taken.
Men are like... copiers. You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.
Men are like... lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that
bright.
Men are like... bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.
Men are like... high heels. They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
Men are like... miniskirts. If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.
