Joke Thread...

CJ Tylers

Retired Sr. Member
Jan 3, 2003
1,643
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46
North Vancouver
On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone
who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?"

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day
long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years
we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.
 

CJ Tylers

Retired Sr. Member
Jan 3, 2003
1,643
1
0
46
North Vancouver
The Truth About Cats, Dogs, Men and Women.............

Men and dogs................. Women and cats...

will eat almost anything ................ play with their food

like rough play ................. prefer affection or just being held

prefer comfort to style ............ groom constantly

get louder when angry ........... communicate with hints and looks

get dirty a lot ............ must always look good

bang into things............. feel pain when they break a nail

enjoy car rides ............ lay in the sun

fu2k up and get over it ............ meant to do that

Let their friends push them around............... are complete opportunists

have smelly and/or stupid friends ........... need their space

play with their genitals in public ........ torment weak adversaries

like b!tches ............. are nosy

have no fashion sense .............. can't catch a ball

are players 24 / 7 ............. need their alone time

have no shame ........... look weird without hair
 
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