Its my turn to ask

Mar 10, 2011
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i was white picket fence married for 20 yrs.
cost a couple mil to end it.
been single for 12 yrs now and love it.
my freinds say , why dont you get a wife or girl to move in with you? are u not lonely at times.
well..... that little bit of time i,m lonely is the price u pay for freedom.
i date allot of girls and have alot of fun , but a few over night relationships is all it will be.
if it flys , floats or fucks... rent it.
 

Dgodus

Banned
Nov 5, 2011
855
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Here and There
Wow.
Harsh.
Because you don't agree with the way he feels about relationships he would be in, you label him as weak willed or insecure?
Really?
Talk about not being able to control your "baser nature".
I dont disagree with the way he feels about relationships at all, what I really disagree with is that he chooses to state his position by calling those of a different view "less of a man" and "weak".

And yes it is harsh, intentionally so. It's one thing to state an opinion, and completly another to form it in the way of undermining the opposing view. Had he just said, "I'd be jealous, maybe even angry" I would not only respect his choice of opinion, but also he himself for the ability to be honest about it and what's behind said opinion. Not hiding behind some justifications which debase the other group. Much like "nice guys" who claim that women only want assholes, why feel the need to label the men that do have success with women as assholes (they generally aren't, for the most part they just dont make those women the focal point of their lives, which "nice guys" tend to do). Worry about yourself, accepting yourself, and (if need be) improving yourself; dont simply try and drag others down or paint them in an unfavorable light.

As for controlling my baser nature. I believe I did. I posted something in a counterpoint, not an aggressive cursing "you're a blathering idiot and completly wrong moron" post. The tone may be harsh, but it's a reaction in kind to what I orginally quoted.

Frankly my points about Ingrid's post are far more grasping at straws.
 
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blackcad

Well-known member
Dec 5, 2010
267
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I dont disagree with the way he feels about relationships at all, what I really disagree with is that he chooses to state his position by calling those of a different view "less of a man" and "weak".

And yes it is harsh, intentionally so. It's one thing to state an opinion, and completly another to form it in the way of undermining the opposing view.

As for controlling my baser nature. I believe I did. I posted something in a counterpoint, not an aggressive cursing "you're a blathering idiot and completly wrong moron" post. The tone may be harsh, but it's a reaction in kind to what I orginally quoted.

Frankly my points about Ingrid's post are far more grasping at straws.
I didn't call anyone particular person or group "weak".....I didn't state a fact..I stated an opinion, something that I "think" and clearly indicated that it was only my opinion...I stated my belief.

"I don't think any man, would be OK with sharing, especially deep down, and if he was, he's really going against every instinct preserved from stone-age times. I would think that a man like that...would be weak...and less of a man for it.....just my opinion. Others will disagree I'm sure."

Does it matter what I think? All the power to SP's who can make this work, because they deserve love as much as anyone.

I stand by my opinion, and if you interviewed a random sampling of the regular population, not the demographic of males that are members of this site, you would see that 99% + would probably feel the same way. Any guy I know, would have HUGE problems with his GF or SO having sex with other men when he was not around.....they would invariably call the guy "whipped"....or "completely whipped" to the point where his GF or SO is sharing something intimate with others that is typically only shared with the SO.

Primal instincts are there within all of us.....I worry about the long term effect of anyone who poons on a regular basis who allows the pooning to change them. If you are OK with your SO doing something like this while you are together, all the power to you, but I "believe" that you've sacrificed a bit of yourself, or weakened yourself, if it becomes OK to you, to be the guy, that the escort wants you to be....denying or ignoring your strongest base feelings.

I also "believe" that women working in this industry have to be careful to minimize the potential damage that doing this can do to her. Even if an escort in a relationship has found love for a SO who "understands" that she must keep working.....I think that she probably loses some respect for the same man for doing just that.......putting up with it......because deep down.....it's in women's nature to fall for dominant male personalities.........It's hard to be a "dominant" male....the "leader of the pride"....if all the other males are mating with your lioness.

Just like I can believe a guy is weak if he can't bench his body weight, other people might see that person as strong, it all depends on where their points of reference are.

You obviously believe it's a strong man who can control his emotions such that he's OK with other men fucking his GF/SO.....I understand your position, and in some respects it takes strength to control these base emotions, but I disagree looking through the window of my own perceptions...I would never be OK with it, and I feel stronger for it.....I wonder if you would feel that way before you became a pooner.
 
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Dgodus

Banned
Nov 5, 2011
855
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Here and There
Yes it was an opinion, which I acknowledged, and one which paints a group of people in an inferior light. Wether your intention was that or not it doesn't matter, you come off as calling others weak.

As for does it matter what you think, this is a discussion board, meant to discuss (well the lounge anyways). Not much point in having one sided discussions is it?

As for random sampling. You seem to approach the question in the form of only the woman in the relationship is permitted to sleep around. I've stated already in equality and fairness. I see no way in which taking steps which allow a man to sleep with other woman as being "whipped".

Primal instincts are not within us all (beyond fight/fligh survival instincts).

Regardless of wether you poon or not. Some men (and women - this is inherent in all people) will shift their personality towards whatever the person they're with wants it to be. This is something in human nature, not something specific to pooning (what the shift is however may be, albeit it would apply to swingers and sexually open people not within the industry as well).

Alot of your assumptions are based on the supposed fact that sex is sacred or always intimate. It's not for some people, for some its just a fun activity, for others its work; neither of those groups place the importance on sex which you do. Frankly sex isn't even the most fun activity I can do. I'm sure many providers have clients who are great sexual partners, doesn't mean they want to form a relationship with them. Besides there is a very, very large difference between casual sex and the sex between two people who have a genuine connection and care about each other (ie those in a relationship) - I can assure you, the "other man" is not getting one of these types of sex.

Not withstanding the fact that I dont believe women fall for dominant personalities, this being based on experience. Generally amongst a group of friends years ago I was more often than not dominanting the conversations in the bar, the rough housing (or whatever you want to call it), what we were doing and where. Yes I got laid, however I also got a friend of ours laid quite often (granted he did have a much easier face than mine) as often times the women surrounding us would find me opinionated, at times rude or mean (aka "what a dick!") or I just generally "talked myself out of the sale"; whereas he just kind of hovered around being quiet occasionally adding to the convo/activities/whatever and just generally having a good time. The supposed human nature of wanting qualities "X" are really only applicable for initial attractions, beyond that (ie an actual relationship, and I'm not referring to the casual kind) it becomes much more cerebral (emotional/mental/stability/equality/respect).

Mating lions is a terrible analogy. When animals mate it's for procreation. The continuation of your genes. When we have sex I'm pretty sure most of the time we wish to avoid procreation, no alot of the sex we have is simply for physical pleasure.

Using weight lifting ability to demonstrate point of reference is also improper. We are discussing qualifiable things, subjective things. How much you can bench is an objective and quantifiable thing.

Frankly you see an open relationship as someone fucking your SO. I view it as an opportunity to have casual meaningless sex with other woman, have threesomes and foursomes with my partner, and a freedom not to have to repress any desires which may arise (and also not deal with the associated guilt). You are viewing the cost, I view what I gain. As I've said earlier, I'm not particular to a relationship being open or monogamous, but I will take open each and everytime if I believe my partner's desires lay in that direction (and not because it's what she wants, but because of how I will benefit).

And yes, these views have been long standing with myself, my hobby was begun less than a year ago (although I've always said I'd have no problem paying for it - so maybe the attitude makes one a pooner, not the pooning making ones attitude hmmm?)
 

jnewton

Loitering on PERB
Aug 9, 2010
378
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Lol I'm the opposite. I love to spoon and snuggle all night once I'm comfy with someone. As long as they don't snore :p I'm a share everything and be around each other a lot kind of relationship person, but I am also dead set on an open relationship. :)
We're a perfect match! Marry me! ;)
 
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