It doesn't get any better than this

[Miss*Bijou]

Well boys and girls, you didn't ask but I will tell you anyways.
My evening and my date... in a nutshell.


~A date who growls and bark the entire time my lips or hands come in contact with his cock... (um okay, I guess I can deal with that)


~I get a glass door on the head - it was leaning on the wall behind me - Damn that fucker hurt!!!


~While I am in the washroom, my date dislocates his hip. I come back to the room to find him on the floor and unable to move, still undressed. Shit.


~Calm him down (sort of). He kept apologizing, poor guy obviously nothing to apologize about. Get dressed, cleaned up all evidence of our previous activities...and call 911.


~Ambulance shows up. I bring his dog up to my place while they get him ready to go. (as it turns out we just moved into the same building!)
I ride the elevator down with a few of his things (clothes, phone, keys, wallet..).. walk out to the ambulance. As it drives away, I turned around to head back into the building.

Well whatta ya know?!

No fob! Must have put it with his things in the bag I just handed the ambulance dude.


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Great. Just fucking Great.

Does it get any better than this?

 

[poonersdelight]

Whoopsie! Well, think about it this way, it can't get any worse eh?

 

[Guardian Angel]

Sorry but that is hilarious and scary all at the same time

I had a godd laugh at your misfortune. I thought that only happened in movies.
I hope it all worked out in the end for you.

But it does bring up a scary thought about an accident or something happening during a visit that could end up with some explaining to do.

I wonder how many of us have had similar situations and needed to come up with some quick thinking?

My worst was leaving a card in my pocket from a lovely lady. When asked why it was there I blamed some co-workers on the prank. Fortunately my SO knows many of my firends and expected that and more from them.

G.A.

 

[Enchanted One]

Hearing Impaired Client

Once a hearing impaired client booked a 'massage' date with me. The
operator who called me passed messages back & forth between us. I
almost wanted to ask if the guy was a senior citizen but since it wasn't
an entirely private conversation, I hesitated.

Of course the client shows up & he's a man in his 60's & hobbling around
with a cane! During the massage, one of his legs started cramping up & he
was in pain. Gave him a straight massage only with no happy ending. After
the session was over, he asked if I offer a happy ending. Lied & said I didn't.
Once he leaves, he bumps into my hunky drop dead gorgeous neighbour!
Great. They shared an elevator ride down.

I always decline clients who ask about wheelchair accessibility. Hey, got to
be careful here. Don't want an emergency situation where someone slips
and breaks a leg. Or god forbid a lawsuit.

 

[westwoody]

Threw out his hip...you must have some kind of wild sex positions.

 

[littlejimbigher]

Threw out his hip...you must have some kind of wild sex positions.

My thoughts exactly.

 

[Miss*Bijou]

Once a hearing impaired client booked a 'massage' date with me. The operator who called me passed messages back & forth between us. I almost wanted to ask if the guy was a senior citizen but since it wasn't an entirely private conversation, I hesitated.

Of course the client shows up & he's a man in his 60's & hobbling around
with a cane! During the massage, one of his legs started cramping up & he
was in pain. Gave him a straight massage only with no happy ending. After
the session was over, he asked if I offer a happy ending. Lied & said I didn't.
Once he leaves, he bumps into my hunky drop dead gorgeous neighbour!
Great. They shared an elevator ride down.

I'm not sure I understand why you didn't offer the happy ending? Cause he was hearing impared, in his 60's with a cane or because he got a leg cramp? I'm not sure why any of these would result in no happy ending..? Am I missing something?

I always decline clients who ask about wheelchair accessibility. Hey, got to be careful here. Don't want an emergency situation where someone slips and breaks a leg. Or god forbid a lawsuit.

I think my little situation shows that things like this can happen to anyone...disabled or not. If that is your sole reason for not accepting to massage disabled gentlemen, that's really too bad...because it does not mean you will prevent emergencies or accidents from happening.

Threw out his hip...you must have some kind of wild sex positions.

hehe That, I will not say.

But I can show you. LOL

I had a godd laugh at your misfortune. I thought that only happened in movies.
I hope it all worked out in the end for you.

It's all good.. I did have a laugh at my predicament too. These things always seem to happen to me! They would make an interesting movie, that's for sure..

I did manage to get a cab to a friends place, woke him up so he could give me the spare key/fob I left with him in case something like this happened! *sigh of relief*
My dog enjoyed having another dog to keep her company... The gentleman is back home, his hip fixed and I'll be returning his dog shortly... and hopefully get my fob back! All is well that ends well.... but never a dull moment. Never a dull moment...


These are the days (nights?!) of MY life....

BiJou

 

[Enchanted One]

Response to Bijou's Inquiry

I'm not sure I understand why you didn't offer the happy ending? Cause he was hearing impared, in his 60's with a cane or because he got a leg cramp? I'm not sure why any of these would result in no happy ending..? Am I missing something?
(Bijou asked above)


I didn't offer him a happy ending because I was not comfortable having
him around as a regular client & I try to limit the possiblity of a client
having a fall or mishap at my incall. Also I prefer someone able bodied so
he can exit without attracting any attention. At the time my hunky neighbour
was going thru a slow period in the movie industry so it wasn't uncommon
for him to bump into some of my clients.

Though he was hearing impaired, he could read lips. I didn't have a
problem with communication. Call me cautious or maybe I think too much
like a lawyer but I didn't want a lawsuit that could wipe me out financially.

Yes, I know that despite precautions anything can happen. Knock on wood,
but so far I haven't dialed 911 for a client.

 

[georgebushmoron]

~A date who growls and bark the entire time my lips or hands come in contact with his cock... (um okay, I guess I can deal with that)

Was that the dog you were touching? If it was, that would be perfectly natural.

 

[Nickthenoob]

Shit I thought you said he threw out his lips. Daty style. My bad.