Isolation and lonliness.

[sevenofnine]

Something I have been wondering about of late,
Why is everyone so alone,
Im on the bus and train of late, and I look at a train full of people and no one is talking. Its like were afraid to look at someone.
I walk down the mall for coffee and no one makes eye contact.

At times I want to scream, were all people whats the matter with you all.


I got to the pub early for my date with my sp, a bunch of lonely single males sitting there occasionally finding support in there group lonliness.
A really cute waitress comes up to me and sort of shrugs, another single male to fight off all night long, her body language seemed to communicate.
She actually seemed relieved when I told her someone was joining me shortly..

Across the room a single girl, as I watched her so appeared to be so depressed lonely at times crying. What the fuck is the matter with the males in the room I wondered.

Was it a culture of sex, I wondered, the women doesn't appear to be fuckable, or in the mood so leave her alone.
If I wasn't meeting someone I would have sent a drink over, I even briefly thought of asking her to join me and my sp, but only briefly.

Leaving the place late at night another lone women comes up to us, where is a liquor store she wants to know, alone and scared, she wants to get drunk, I point to the bar we just left, I only have money for a bottle she says and I am alone.
she asks my sp for a ride,
appears to be scared of me,
again the culture of sex,, women just good to fuck, that's all.
and I think she has been fucked over a few times actually.

so sad a young girl alone just wants to forget it all in a bottle.

I can't help but wonder what is wrong. what is wrong with everything.

I am an old guy and I connect with a few older guys on the train for my daily grind.
almost one a day,
But they are old like me, and have come to the realization that life is only about one thing, the people we have the people we meet the people we call friends and family.
A shared community a brotherhood with everyone, were all in this together after all.


I remember the song, Garth Brooks the one the wolfs bring down.

Some days I just want to scream, whats the matter with everyone,

Why are we all so alone and isolated.

 

[NoSoundRain]

Why are we all so alone and isolated.

We aren't.

I will admit to having been entertained by many of your 'stories' in my time here, not for the content but more for the fact you seem to be totally unaware of yourself. This post of yours is not an observation of the world, it's nothing more than a reflection of you. You will only ever see the world the way that you choose and you choose sad, lonely and alone. You choose it a lot it appears. There is so much love, light and happiness out there... it's right next to you on the train everyday, it's in the room across the hall and in the people at the pub you go to. There is so much we should all be wearing sunglasses.

It's been fun Seven but I am going to say my goodbyes and put you on ignore now... not because you depress the crap out of me or that I can't believe how hard you try to project your obviously sad soul but for the simple fact that I have lost the appetite for your constantly referring to "my sp" in the most offensive way.

Good luck out there Seven... sounds like you need it.

 

[sdw]

We aren't.

I will admit to having been entertained by many of your 'stories' in my time here, not for the content but more for the fact you seem to be totally unaware of yourself. This post of yours is not an observation of the world, it's nothing more than a reflection of you. You will only ever see the world the way that you choose and you choose sad, lonely and alone. You choose a lot it appears. There is so much love, light and happiness out there... it's right next to you on the train everyday, it's in the room across the hall and in the people at the pub you go to. There is so much we should all be wearing sunglasses.

It's been fun Seven but I am going to say my goodbyes and put you on ignore now... not because you depress the crap out of me or that I can't believe how hard you try to project your obviously sad soul but for the simple fact that I have lost the appetite for your constantly referring to "my sp" in the most offensive way.

Good luck out there Seven... sounds like you need it.

+1 "metro" males and their angst are a little wearing

 

[Chef99]

7 of 9: Clearly you're a little quirkie, and we all have our own idiosyncrasies. But seriously, if you're not going to counselling, please do so. I'm not trying to be a dick, it just seems like you're suffering. If I'm way off base, I apologize....

 

[hiddencloud]

Confirmation bias is a heck of a thing.

 

[newkind]

I think the problem is that we are all looking for something that isn't there, so if a rare connection does take place, it ends in frustration because both parties have a fantasy ideal of what they want, and reality is much more annoying, the woman wants to be swept off her feet by a man that says all the right things and has all the right body language at the right time, the man wants a woman that is into him and gives him the attention and craving to reassure him. what reality happens is the opposite and those that do hook up do so with many compromises and it tends to turn out worse the longer it goes, but most do not hook up because those that are real and genuine don't get far.

the reality is that most are better off alone and are used to being alone and doing things alone, even though there is an internal desire to have someone, the reality doesn't work out well with that fantasy desire of what it is like to have someone, the reality is that it is more of a strain on one's mental well being, the worry and the craving and the goals going in different directions and the game playing and differing desires, a relationship is really not an easy thing and is mostly full of pain and stress and anguish from day one

 

[newkind]

another crazy thing about relationships, is that people want what they can't have. that is the surest way to extreme attraction, if you are normal and let a girl know you want her, there will be no attraction, but if she wants you and you don't want her, she will go crazy for you. I think it works the other way too, the more a girl doesn't want you, the more you will want her

of course it seems simple to say "fake it and pretend you don't want her" but it isn't so easy, somehow it transcends mere words and covers all actions and body language, it is not fakeable

 

[johnsmit]

I acctually see the same thing 7of9 sees.. I am a loner myself.. .. but some times need people .
But it was only the other day.. that as i was people watching.. i could see how insicure people are...it shows in how they walk.. and manage there way through crowds.. .Of course i pick up on it because i was the same way for many years.. and still can be...

We wear personas to protect ourselves.. and to keep people away.. Men put them on to be some one they are not.. Wearing. nice suits... or that . adventures look.... Just puting on some jeans.. and running shoes.. with a sweat shirt.. your tring to say something.. but still not being your self.

And women.. there is book or a dozen that have been writen.. I have noticed that they are the most insecure. the beautiful. the more so..
They go out dressed. well .. with great bodies.. . but not a smile on there face... and afraid to look at any one...
So many women are alone... and it because they want more in life besides sex.. and that seems that all us guy want most of the time.....

Yes we are make our society.. into a bunch of loners and isolated.. and social medea is not msking us any more open to meeting each other.. and talking.. It seem to be only about the hook up for sex and parting

it is sad.. and this is comeing from a guy . that acctually. likes being a lone most of the time

 

[johnsmit]

There are many side of lonelyness and isolation.. one is the the younger generation.. the other is the older.. which i am quicky become part of... both my parents lived to 90. and allways had family around... even tbough most of their frirnds had passed away..
I am nearing 60.. my mom jyst died a few months ago... i have a few friends my age.. and afew more women friends.. 25.. 30 yrs younger then me... but how many will be freinds in the next few years.. is uncertain
Even being a loner . i need that human contact.. and i have Sote out. people that i enjoy being with..
Part of this whole seeing escorts.. was to eleaviate.. being a lone .. and finding a conection.. with like minded people.. women.. ..

I dont think 7 of 9 is off base . posting this here... If you truly know your self .. then you know you are here because you are lonely too

 

[NoSoundRain]

This.

 

[newkind]

....
So many women are alone... and it because they want more in life besides sex.. and that seems that all us guy want most of the time.....

....

I disagree with that actually, I think the women want sex then want to be left alone, they are able to get attention all the time every day, they spend their days avoiding attention

guys on the other hand, are not able to get that attention, girls aren't texting and emailing them all day looking for attention, girls get attention all the time

and as for guys wanting sex, sex is so easy to get I don't even care about it anymore, I can pay $160 and have great sex any time I want, but real attention and love and desire from a girl that is sooooooo much harder to get

 

[johnsmit]

Looks like your only conferming you area lone... and insecure..
As for women wanting attetion.. and getting it all the time... nope not the women I know .. or do I even see that in some of the groups of women i know of.
Yes insecurity... needing validation ... I see that.. . and i guess we all need some oneto say. every now and then . i need you.. .So we feel appreciate ..

I do manage to text through the day with a few women.. and i appreciate them
But in general many of the womdn I know.. are loners.. .and are alone..even though there may be some one in there life..
I not sure what the answer is..... but i to love to have some one text me... but rather be with them in person.. even just for a little while each day

 

[Lady Kay]

Looks like your only conferming you area lone... and insecure..
As for women wanting attetion.. and getting it all the time... nope not the women I know .. or do I even see that in some of the groups of women i know of.
Yes insecurity... needing validation ... I see that.. . and i guess we all need some oneto say. every now and then . i need you.. .So we feel appreciate ..


I do manage to text through the day with a few women.. and i appreciate them
But in general many of the womdn I know.. are loners.. .and are alone..even though there may be some one in there life..
I not sure what the answer is..... but i to love to have some one text me... but rather be with them in person.. even just for a little while each day

Wow, I think you are totally projecting. You can't assume how others are feeling?

Watch Ted Talks on loneliness

 

[Man in Submission]

And women.. there is book or a dozen that have been writen.. I have noticed that they are the most insecure. the beautiful. the more so..
They go out dressed. well .. with great bodies.. . but not a smile on there face... and afraid to look at any one...
So many women are alone... and it because they want more in life besides sex.. and that seems that all us guy want most of the time.....

It's a generalization and I do humbly disagree. The vast majority of women today are more confident, secure and independent than ever before. I just think there are a lot of men who resent it and can't come to terms with it.

 

[sevenofnine]

Don't feel sorry for me I was meeting a women for supper, and have one waiting at home.

I am not in the least alone, have a good relationship with my kids, hang out and do things with them regularly,

Have a good relationships with women to actually,

I simply feel people or a lot of people are so alone actually and afraid,

 

[1nitestan]

Vancouver is kind of a cold place when you're single....

1) no one approaches anyone - have heard this a lot from women. Lots of 'beta' males in this town who don't have the confidence or social skills to interact with women (why do you think Vancouver's sex trade is thriving?)...and the one's that do are cocky jerkwads. I had this conversation today having drinks after work w/ a lady friend of mine. Men in other cites don't have this issue.

2) conversely - lots of women in this town are kinda stuck up. They're waiting for that dotcom or showbiz rich guy...and they'll dismiss everyone else. Women in other cities don't have this issue. they'll at least have a chat w/ a guy before they write him off politely.

3) Everyone's too focused on their devices - if you take transit you know this to be true.

4) Lots of people don't interact in person anymore - they do it online or use mobile apps for finding other people. Those you see at eateries and bars chatting have probably already sifted through some BS online before they hooked up.

 

[newkind]

There are many times I feel very much alone actually most of the time. I've always been a loner of sorts a leader who will stand alone . I have good friends, an excellent career 2 great kids a good ex whom I don't mind talking and dealing with.

I talk and deal with peole daily it's what my job entails. Met a lot of fantastic ladies doing this Perb thing. However'. Standing in a crowded arena with 5'000- 20,000 people and I feell alone. The more people I'm around I feel lonely

There is just me and a world of people standing beside me and walking past me. Blank faces, conviction of getting somewhere. People wrapped in thought and the only thing I can think of is truly how alone I feel.

So I book dates I see ladies then once the fantasy is done I dress and walk out the door. Alone in my thoughts, my mind in perpetuity.

This is a lot of how I feel too, I pay for some time and then after the hour I go back to my aloneness

 

[Flanders]

This should cheer you up

 

[Unpossible]

Just because I don't want to chat with you on the bus doesn't mean I'm lonely. It means you look really fucking boring.

 

[Flanders]