Is pooning a choice for you—or an act of sexual desperation?
- Thread starter tantalizeme
- Start date
and really gorgeous women don't
...it's not a gender issue, it's a sociological and anthropological phenomena...
let's stay away from the simplistic interpretations...
The Thin Line Between Both Spheres
Wow! TantalizeMe this was a well composed and thought provoking thread. This is also one of the best threads I've read in a long time. It has definitely brought out some interesting insight into why we do what we do. I only wish more Sps participated. Thank you to all Sps who have done so far as well as all pooners that have contributed.
Preferential vs Necessity
I don't believe I fall into either category, nor the middle, but a new category of an outsider or what I call the "female daring character" category. I don't do any form of drugs, nor do I gamble. Drinking fails to give me that addictive euphoria, but sex, sex gives me a severe addiction so my interest in this hobby revolves around intrigue (not thrill), and has been for the last number of years. I began with sort of a "would an Sp do this better than a gf" approach.
The "Female Daring Character" Factor
I began this hobby wanting to learn about a woman's level of sexual dare. The greater the dare the more potent the sexual electrical charge between her and I. To what lengths would an Sp go to please me differently from a gf? The only correlation I drew was that the more intelligent or more daring character a girl has to her identity the more of a sexual dynamo she is. I tried to do the "if she has a great body and a hot face" then she has to be stellar sexually, but sadly this can be a really misconceived myth
Clubs
In Vancouver, and I've noticed this ONLY in Vancouver, girls come in a herd. They dance in a herd, go to the washroom in a herd, go to the bar in a herd and do some kinky lesbian dancing with each other with purses all in the middle on the floor. They dress to tease and want to meet men, but don't want any guys approaching them?? The more cleavage or skin revealed seems to show more of a girl's own insecurities about herself and her pampered lifestyle (now this isn't true of all girls, just based upon my humble experience). It is sad that a bar girl or club girl has to have a couple of drinks to "loosen" up and/or to want to have sex. Do you really want girls like that? These types of girls severely bore me...no character or dare! Strippers, harems, geishas, they all know how to entice through dance whether they like their profession or not...the character of these girls is revealed in these arts, more confident and secure than a drunken bar girl. They also know how to start the sexual spark. Having sex with a drunken club or bar girl is like having sex with a mannequin, half the time they don't know where they are, you have to move their arms and legs in all sorts of directions so they don't smack into anything (reverse cg doesn't ever happen ) and you have to make sense of their slurring
How Preferential is Preferential?
A real professional preferential pooner should be able to pick up a girl at a coffee shop, gym, etc. not just a bar or club where alcohol has helped play the role of wingman. I can talk to women in these places and maybe get a phone number, but it really depends on the vibe the girl gives out. I often go into deep thought, so deep in fact, that my behaviour can be seen as anti-social or severely shy.
Anybody Else?
Anyone else attracted by testing the "female daring character" quality?There have been times that the sexual character emitting from a girl is so strong that she in turn dares my character to evolve or back down. LOL.
Wow!
TantalizeMe this was a well composed and thought provoking thread. This is also one of the best threads I've read in a long time. It has definitely brought out some interesting insight into why we do what we do. I only wish more Sps participated. Thank you to all Sps who have done so far as well as all pooners that have contributed.Preferential vs Necessity
I don't believe I fall into either category, nor the middle, but a new category of an outsider or what I call the "female daring character" category. I don't do any form of drugs, nor do I gamble. Drinking fails to give me that addictive euphoria, but sex, sex gives me a severe addiction
so my interest in this hobby revolves around intrigue (not thrill), and has been for the last number of years. I began with sort of a "would an Sp do this better than a gf" approach. The "Female Daring Character" Factor
I began this hobby wanting to learn about a woman's level of sexual dare. The greater the dare the more potent the sexual electrical charge between her and I. To what lengths would an Sp go to please me differently from a gf? The only correlation I drew was that the more intelligent or more daring character a girl has to her identity the more of a sexual dynamo she is. I tried to do the "if she has a great body and a hot face" then she has to be stellar sexually, but sadly this can be a really misconceived myth
Clubs
In Vancouver, and I've noticed this ONLY in Vancouver, girls come in a herd. They dance in a herd, go to the washroom in a herd, go to the bar in a herd and do some kinky lesbian dancing with each other with purses all in the middle on the floor. They dress to tease and want to meet men, but don't want any guys approaching them??
The more cleavage or skin revealed seems to show more of a girl's own insecurities about herself and her pampered lifestyle (now this isn't true of all girls, just based upon my humble experience). It is sad that a bar girl or club girl has to have a couple of drinks to "loosen" up and/or to want to have sex. Do you really want girls like that? These types of girls severely bore me...no character or dare! Strippers, harems, geishas, they all know how to entice through dance whether they like their profession or not...the character of these girls is revealed in these arts, more confident and secure than a drunken bar girl. They also know how to start the sexual spark. Having sex with a drunken club or bar girl is like having sex with a mannequin, half the time they don't know where they are, you have to move their arms and legs in all sorts of directions so they don't smack into anything (reverse cg doesn't ever happen ) and you have to make sense of their slurring How Preferential is Preferential?
A real professional preferential pooner should be able to pick up a girl at a coffee shop, gym, etc. not just a bar or club where alcohol has helped play the role of wingman. I can talk to women in these places and maybe get a phone number, but it really depends on the vibe the girl gives out. I often go into deep thought, so deep in fact, that my behaviour can be seen as anti-social or severely shy.
Anybody Else?
Anyone else attracted by testing the "female daring character" quality?There have been times that the sexual character emitting from a girl is so strong that she in turn dares my character to evolve or back down. LOL.
Fascinating responses...I learn so much from you wonderful people
I’m intrigued by your concept of “a woman's level of sexual dare”...If I understand you right, it's not “the thrill of the chase” that you're after. You're interested in experiencing the “sexual character" of women who've reached a certain Rolls Royce-type of expertise, manifesting such things as refined seduction skills, an imaginative repertoire, a certain risk-taking dynamism—is that right? I can only say ME TOO! Perhaps life's greatest joy, for me, is to discover the wide variety of sexual energies exhibited by different women and step into the erotic orbit of a woman who has cultivated a truly adventurous sexuality, who treats sex as an exhilarating art form and who somehow makes me grow as a person and a lover rather than shrink me down.
There'd seem to be many subtypes of preference pooners—some guys, like dood or wpgguy or rescue 911, strike me as paradigmatic examples. One huge category of pooner is the "pretty happily married except for the boring or non-existent sex at home” type, as characterized by FunSugarDaddy or high-end hottie. I agree they're somewhere intermediate between necessity and preference pooners. They COULD recruit freebies, but only at great risk to their marriage—so SPs become a kind of necessity for them.
Wow, mimi—thanks for answering one of my questions in your typically spirited personalized way. I’m sure in addition to arrogant “drop-dead gorgeous” guys and attentive “homely" guys there're other types...reasonably nice-looking and humble men who're as eager to please as to be pleasured. I’m sure even you would consider SOME necessity pooners to be riffraff you'd reject. What about, e.g. unkempt down-and-outers who reek of booze but still feel that painful hunger for touch and release: what do you say to them?
Ramstein69, brother you touch me with you talk of being “stuck in the heart of desperation.” You sound like a thoughtful, vulnerable guy—afflicted with a wounded psyche. A good SP could definitely be a big step forward for you, although a friend tells me modern anti-depressants have done marvels for him. But Holly is totally right: intimacy with an attractive but totally non-demanding and understanding SP like her might do wonders for making you relaxed around pretty women.
I always love Lady Companion’s emphatically upbeat characterization of us pooners—though, as she says, elite companions tend to be removed from the world of necessity pooners (unlike the majority of SPs who work in micros, MPs or on the street but hardly ever post here). I also like the reference to Victor Hugo's Quasimodo, the hunchback of Notre Dame, a kind-hearted rescuer of the damsel in distress. He's clearly not riffraff; just cursed by fate with repulsive ugliness. I wonder what Lady Companion would do if someone who looked like him actually had to courage to show up at her door.
Hey Rolls Royce...If we define necessity pooners as those who basically can't obtain sex from reasonably appealing non-professionals and preference pooners as those who can but want to explore possibilities with professionals as well, I'd definitely have to classify you as a rather fastidious subtype of preference pooner.
I’m intrigued by your concept of “a woman's level of sexual dare”...If I understand you right, it's not “the thrill of the chase” that you're after. You're interested in experiencing the “sexual character" of women who've reached a certain Rolls Royce-type of expertise, manifesting such things as refined seduction skills, an imaginative repertoire, a certain risk-taking dynamism—is that right? I can only say ME TOO! Perhaps life's greatest joy, for me, is to discover the wide variety of sexual energies exhibited by different women and step into the erotic orbit of a woman who has cultivated a truly adventurous sexuality, who treats sex as an exhilarating art form and who somehow makes me grow as a person and a lover rather than shrink me down.
There'd seem to be many subtypes of preference pooners—some guys, like dood or wpgguy or rescue 911, strike me as paradigmatic examples. One huge category of pooner is the "pretty happily married except for the boring or non-existent sex at home” type, as characterized by FunSugarDaddy or high-end hottie. I agree they're somewhere intermediate between necessity and preference pooners. They COULD recruit freebies, but only at great risk to their marriage—so SPs become a kind of necessity for them.
Wow, mimi—thanks for answering one of my questions in your typically spirited personalized way. I’m sure in addition to arrogant “drop-dead gorgeous” guys and attentive “homely" guys there're other types...reasonably nice-looking and humble men who're as eager to please as to be pleasured. I’m sure even you would consider SOME necessity pooners to be riffraff you'd reject. What about, e.g. unkempt down-and-outers who reek of booze but still feel that painful hunger for touch and release: what do you say to them?
Ramstein69, brother you touch me with you talk of being “stuck in the heart of desperation.” You sound like a thoughtful, vulnerable guy—afflicted with a wounded psyche. A good SP could definitely be a big step forward for you, although a friend tells me modern anti-depressants have done marvels for him. But Holly is totally right: intimacy with an attractive but totally non-demanding and understanding SP like her might do wonders for making you relaxed around pretty women.
I always love Lady Companion’s emphatically upbeat characterization of us pooners—though, as she says, elite companions tend to be removed from the world of necessity pooners (unlike the majority of SPs who work in micros, MPs or on the street but hardly ever post here). I also like the reference to Victor Hugo's Quasimodo, the hunchback of Notre Dame, a kind-hearted rescuer of the damsel in distress. He's clearly not riffraff; just cursed by fate with repulsive ugliness. I wonder what Lady Companion would do if someone who looked like him actually had to courage to show up at her door.
There appears to be a desire to forget what the sp/escort is all about: providing (not expecting) a service for everyone (not just the physically attractive) who they book appts with. They do not require or request pics, descriptions or testimonials regarding their sexual prowess. They (indys) screen for personality, respectfulness, possibly humour, & whether they can or will fulfill the clients wish list. They don't choose this business because they are looking for sexual fulfillment. If that was the case, I am sure they would be sadly misinformed lol. So why does anyone (except LAG) think they are disappointed by its lack? Why is it necessary to measure only in orgasms, when I am sure she measures it in terms of: he smells good, he isn't dangerous, he is funny, he is polite, he asks first, he doesn't demand what she doesn't provide, etc etc. If it happens, it happens, but if that becomes their focus, their focus will not be on you, where it belongs.
And the indy gets to select her clients. What about the micros and amps. Why do you think the sps give out their #'s to encourage repeats? Because they are sent anyone and everyone, drunk or sober, clean or smelly, true. But also, mean and nasty, rude and inconsiderate, people who wouldn't pass an indy's screening show up at 3am, expecting to pay little but receive the world. All that, and it is expected that she is there also to find sexual fulfillment. It is a little idealistic, no?
But there is one true thing as well, whether preference or necessity, you will not get to a higher level with any sp unless you are willing to return, become a regular client and get to know her better.
And the indy gets to select her clients. What about the micros and amps. Why do you think the sps give out their #'s to encourage repeats? Because they are sent anyone and everyone, drunk or sober, clean or smelly, true. But also, mean and nasty, rude and inconsiderate, people who wouldn't pass an indy's screening show up at 3am, expecting to pay little but receive the world. All that, and it is expected that she is there also to find sexual fulfillment. It is a little idealistic, no?
But there is one true thing as well, whether preference or necessity, you will not get to a higher level with any sp unless you are willing to return, become a regular client and get to know her better.
Last edited:
Couldn't agree more ! Thanks for articulating my view and why I think this "hobby" should be covered by medicare.I've seen clients with depression or who are going through some kind of external problem, and I really think that it helps to have someone who is kind and supportive to help you through it. Seeing a therapist or talking to a friend are great support systems, but if you want to see someone in an intimate and/or sexual capacity, then seeing an escort can be a really good option.
People tend to think it's all sex, but so much of what we do is listen, be supportive, be attentive, affectionate, and friendly. When someone treats you that way, I don't know how you can help but feel better
WOW!
I was going to just pass up on commenting but -
DAMMIT!!!
You two gals made some excellent points in them thar comments.
I personally fall into the "all of the above" category with the exception of being married. (Divorced actually)
Let me clarify my attributes:
Looks: - Ugly
Now, some of you are sayin';
"Krustee, don't be so hard on yourself!"
But I'm just bein honest with my close internet friends here & I'm tellin ya, I can scare the stripes off a tiger I'm so ugly.
- I'm so ugly that my daddy used to push my face in mom's cookie dough then tell everybody he was making "gorilla cookies".
- - I'm so ugly all the mirrors in my house filed a class action against me for cruel & unusual punishment.
- - I'm so ugly when I was a kid my mom used to stuff candy in my pockets so the other kids in the neighborhood would play with me.
- - I'm so ugly I had to attend school at the local zoo.
- - I'm so ugly my employer put me on disability after 3 weeks & when they asked the Circus manager why he said it was out of pity.
- - I'm so ugly my mom used to put meat scraps in my pockets & tie bones around my neck just so the family dog would play with me.
- - I'm so ugly I put my picture up on Facebook & two weeks later the cops knocked on my door wanting to know if I had a license to have an Orangutan as a pet.
- - I'm so ugly that I went to the plastic surgeon & asked if he could make me look like a movie star - he said the best he could do is make me look like Eric Stoltz ....
I said fine, he said;
"you don't understand, I mean Eric Stolz...
... in character as Rocky Dennis". -
- I'm so ugly this is the only dog I've had that hasn't run away from home:
-
Considering the above comments from you lovely ladies I invite both of you to see me as a client so we can ...
"Get our freak on!"
Who's gonna be the first to PM me??
Mostly correct from my point of view but,
I have been married twice. Both wives with looks that rival the Lady Companion's. And, neither are any good in the bedroom! Sex for me (at home with the wives) are once or twice per week only if I am up for an hour of 'foreplay' that has to be all about her! For some reason 'foreplay' has become synonymous with, "man kisses woman's ass in order to get sex". If I want to experience Greek, CIM, COF, Russian, Tea Baggin', playin' the Rusty Trombone (I could go on & on!), I have to poon to find it!
It has nothing to do with can I, or can't I, get a date without payin' for it. It has to do with getting sex (crazy, dirty, fun, adventurous sex) as easily as possible without (hopefully) ruining my life.
A drama free, no strings attached, 'SEXUAL' relationship that is all about me. My life is all about everyone else! I don't want to have to romance anyone. I don't want anyone calling me the next day. I don't want any attachments that can lead back home. I am married & I cheat with SP's.
I have been married twice. Both wives with looks that rival the Lady Companion's. And, neither are any good in the bedroom! Sex for me (at home with the wives) are once or twice per week only if I am up for an hour of 'foreplay' that has to be all about her! For some reason 'foreplay' has become synonymous with, "man kisses woman's ass in order to get sex". If I want to experience Greek, CIM, COF, Russian, Tea Baggin', playin' the Rusty Trombone (I could go on & on!), I have to poon to find it!
It has nothing to do with can I, or can't I, get a date without payin' for it. It has to do with getting sex (crazy, dirty, fun, adventurous sex) as easily as possible without (hopefully) ruining my life.
Thought-provoking and insightful! I've got a tangent for that!
Great question Tantalizeme! I think this is the first thread I've read all the way through.
I personally would say I fall into the preference category with an occasional tendency towards necessity.
I have no trouble getting a date in the social world (I don't get laid every day or have a long list of women at my beckon call). I agree with Rolls that women in Vancouver are a mess in wanting to attract a man then turning most of them down at every turn. It's a power struggle. They look good, you chase, they turn you down, they win. Or do they?
They accept, you wine and dine, you win?
How many of my gal pals in the past have complained about guys in the city and dating in general when they give little chance for it. Too cautious in my book.
Women can't have multiple sexual relationships without being considered skanks, but men are heroes if they score regularly? Must have something to do with proliferation of the gene and the historical male dominance of society.
I would expect that if a woman was sleeping with multiple partners, it would increase the genetic diversity of her offspring just as much as a male's. I would think, however, that if a woman were sleeping with males that were not alpha, she may be diluting her offspring's genetic potential, hence the skank perception. Wouldn't it be also the same for men if they are promiscuous with women that are not desirable? Sex for the sake of sex does not maximize offspring's genetic potential therefore decreases chance of survival (in nature, not society).
I respect everyone's responses and choices and try never to pass judgment on anyone as you can never truly understand someone else's situation in it's absolute entirety. There always has to be a level of considering (walking a mile in their shoes) and then a level of respect once the consideration is made. This cognitive process takes time, however, and judgment is a primal instinct designed to prevent us from harm by allowing us to thin-slice a situation and analyze it in milli-seconds without conscious thought.
In today's world, judgment is not as often applicable as it is used. Nature's laws don't seem to run parallel well with society's laws.
I remember that I started this hobby out of a desire to sleep with what I thought were typically unattainable women, although even in high school I was the first of my friends to lose my virginity and always had the best looking gal pals and the hottest girlfriends although few and far between.
In the sexual prime of my life, I swore off dating women as I thought that every relationship I had was meant to be committed. Probably something to do with my parent's relationship being fairly dysfunctional.
SPs became my outlet for sexual need and it worked well. No emotional attachment and available almost on a whim. More cost-effective in time, less so in cash.
I find dating to be the opposite of what I used to perceive it to be. Every relationship in our lives involves some sort of power struggle. The most successful ones are enjoyed by those who know exactly when to concede to the other and how to maintain a balance of energy between the two spirit-beings and not their mental beings.
Men that can pick up on the subtleties of a woman's actions and desires when in fact their words may indicate exactly the opposite, and women that can understand the superficial nature of men and the simplicity in which most of us act/react.
It is a game of seeking balance between push and pull. To attract a being toward you and then them attract you in return. If one being attracts too strongly, eventually the balance shifts and if the other being does not focus within themselves, the result can appear to be a neediness(a focus on needing the other) which may in turn repel the partner.
When I attract a woman now, it has to be done in a way that intrigues her and engages her. I draw her towards me and wait to see if she can draw me towards her before the over-compensation in balance occurs. This I find different than what most men consider to be true dating etiquette.
Women do not need to be wined and dined to the extent that men think. The energy does not need to be put forth so aggressively. It needs to remain a subtle draw. If you choose to wine and dine her, it quickly becomes an over-compensation in her favour. She is then drawing you in. Eventually you find yourself playing catch-up to her expectancies and perhaps later resentment when you feel your expectations are not being met.
There are always exceptions to the rule, but I've found only ever initially. It always comes out at some point in the relationship, sometimes in the form of arguments, sometimes in a more passive aggressive way such as wandering eyes, flirting or cheating on a partner and being less than discreet for the purpose of drawing attention.
This generally leads to a downward spiral in the relationship. A dangerous place to be when there are dependents involved. Children learn most from unspoken communication and often learn best before the age of three when their language centres are not fully developed. Think of how you communicate with a cat or dog. Body language, gestures, tone of voice, etc.
Now, if I want to get into a relationship, I am very aware of how much work is involved and how much emotional commitment it takes from both parties.
I know women who say that they don't get attached after sleeping with a man, yet start to act needy after a few occasions which pushes the man away because he expects otherwise. Oxytocin is a chemical released during sexual activity that stimulates a feeling of closeness and bonding. In particular in women. In men, it seems that Oxytocin is responsible more for erection and the rewards of intercourse rather than bonding.
Vasopressin is another hormone involved in the pair-bonding relationship, and although the two work in concert, Oxytocin gains more press.
Women are attracted to a man's genetic traits, not his societal symbolic traits. Although they may represent some of his genetic traits. Money may mean a safe environment and being well provided for, but it does not guarantee an emotional commitment.
Working on confidence, posture, physical fitness and hygiene all improve the chances of attracting a mate, if that's the choice. Sometimes the choice is see an SP instead.
All long-term relationships are hard work... the more time spent in the company of a partner, the harder it gets as motivation and emotion can erode over time.
Visiting an SP is a relationship of an often pre-determined amount of time. There is no mistake that when you are done your session, there is perhaps a desire by either party to remain, but not much to be done about it. This is a cognitive process that may eventually alter the physiological responses to sex. Some SPs have told me about how they used to get off with their clients and eventually did not anymore.
Whether necessity, preference, or the "female daring character" we all make a choice based on some underlying physiological need often produced by an emotional pre-cursor.
I'll shut-up now.
Great question Tantalizeme! I think this is the first thread I've read all the way through.
I personally would say I fall into the preference category with an occasional tendency towards necessity.
I have no trouble getting a date in the social world (I don't get laid every day or have a long list of women at my beckon call). I agree with Rolls that women in Vancouver are a mess in wanting to attract a man then turning most of them down at every turn. It's a power struggle. They look good, you chase, they turn you down, they win. Or do they?
They accept, you wine and dine, you win?
How many of my gal pals in the past have complained about guys in the city and dating in general when they give little chance for it. Too cautious in my book.
Women can't have multiple sexual relationships without being considered skanks, but men are heroes if they score regularly? Must have something to do with proliferation of the gene and the historical male dominance of society.
I would expect that if a woman was sleeping with multiple partners, it would increase the genetic diversity of her offspring just as much as a male's. I would think, however, that if a woman were sleeping with males that were not alpha, she may be diluting her offspring's genetic potential, hence the skank perception. Wouldn't it be also the same for men if they are promiscuous with women that are not desirable? Sex for the sake of sex does not maximize offspring's genetic potential therefore decreases chance of survival (in nature, not society).
I respect everyone's responses and choices and try never to pass judgment on anyone as you can never truly understand someone else's situation in it's absolute entirety. There always has to be a level of considering (walking a mile in their shoes) and then a level of respect once the consideration is made. This cognitive process takes time, however, and judgment is a primal instinct designed to prevent us from harm by allowing us to thin-slice a situation and analyze it in milli-seconds without conscious thought.
In today's world, judgment is not as often applicable as it is used. Nature's laws don't seem to run parallel well with society's laws.
I remember that I started this hobby out of a desire to sleep with what I thought were typically unattainable women, although even in high school I was the first of my friends to lose my virginity and always had the best looking gal pals and the hottest girlfriends although few and far between.
In the sexual prime of my life, I swore off dating women as I thought that every relationship I had was meant to be committed. Probably something to do with my parent's relationship being fairly dysfunctional.
SPs became my outlet for sexual need and it worked well. No emotional attachment and available almost on a whim. More cost-effective in time, less so in cash.
I find dating to be the opposite of what I used to perceive it to be. Every relationship in our lives involves some sort of power struggle. The most successful ones are enjoyed by those who know exactly when to concede to the other and how to maintain a balance of energy between the two spirit-beings and not their mental beings.
Men that can pick up on the subtleties of a woman's actions and desires when in fact their words may indicate exactly the opposite, and women that can understand the superficial nature of men and the simplicity in which most of us act/react.
It is a game of seeking balance between push and pull. To attract a being toward you and then them attract you in return. If one being attracts too strongly, eventually the balance shifts and if the other being does not focus within themselves, the result can appear to be a neediness(a focus on needing the other) which may in turn repel the partner.
When I attract a woman now, it has to be done in a way that intrigues her and engages her. I draw her towards me and wait to see if she can draw me towards her before the over-compensation in balance occurs. This I find different than what most men consider to be true dating etiquette.
Women do not need to be wined and dined to the extent that men think. The energy does not need to be put forth so aggressively. It needs to remain a subtle draw. If you choose to wine and dine her, it quickly becomes an over-compensation in her favour. She is then drawing you in. Eventually you find yourself playing catch-up to her expectancies and perhaps later resentment when you feel your expectations are not being met.
There are always exceptions to the rule, but I've found only ever initially. It always comes out at some point in the relationship, sometimes in the form of arguments, sometimes in a more passive aggressive way such as wandering eyes, flirting or cheating on a partner and being less than discreet for the purpose of drawing attention.
This generally leads to a downward spiral in the relationship. A dangerous place to be when there are dependents involved. Children learn most from unspoken communication and often learn best before the age of three when their language centres are not fully developed. Think of how you communicate with a cat or dog. Body language, gestures, tone of voice, etc.
Now, if I want to get into a relationship, I am very aware of how much work is involved and how much emotional commitment it takes from both parties.
I know women who say that they don't get attached after sleeping with a man, yet start to act needy after a few occasions which pushes the man away because he expects otherwise. Oxytocin is a chemical released during sexual activity that stimulates a feeling of closeness and bonding. In particular in women. In men, it seems that Oxytocin is responsible more for erection and the rewards of intercourse rather than bonding.
Vasopressin is another hormone involved in the pair-bonding relationship, and although the two work in concert, Oxytocin gains more press.
Women are attracted to a man's genetic traits, not his societal symbolic traits. Although they may represent some of his genetic traits. Money may mean a safe environment and being well provided for, but it does not guarantee an emotional commitment.
Working on confidence, posture, physical fitness and hygiene all improve the chances of attracting a mate, if that's the choice. Sometimes the choice is see an SP instead.
All long-term relationships are hard work... the more time spent in the company of a partner, the harder it gets as motivation and emotion can erode over time.
Visiting an SP is a relationship of an often pre-determined amount of time. There is no mistake that when you are done your session, there is perhaps a desire by either party to remain, but not much to be done about it. This is a cognitive process that may eventually alter the physiological responses to sex. Some SPs have told me about how they used to get off with their clients and eventually did not anymore.
Whether necessity, preference, or the "female daring character" we all make a choice based on some underlying physiological need often produced by an emotional pre-cursor.
I'll shut-up now.
First of all, thank you for the very sweet compliment. In an absolutely honest answer to your question, I would completely welcome a gentleman who was considered 'repulsive' by mainstream standareds of what constitutes beauty. I know this comment probably makes some people cringe, while making others think that I'm just saying that - however, it truly is about a real connection. And frankly, I'm past Junior high in thinking that appearance has anything to do with who a person is. Cleanliness, excellent hygeine, and being healthy are as far as my judgements regarding esthetics go. If a person has a kind heart and carries themselves with a high standard of personal integrity, that makes them beautiful in my eyes ....... regardless of what the mirror says. I have a very difficult time even explaining how somebody looks, as my mind simply doesn't process people that way.
Great question Tantalizeme! I think this is the first thread I've read all the way through.
I personally would say I fall into the preference category with an occasional tendency towards necessity.
I have no trouble getting a date in the social world (I don't get laid every day or have a long list of women at my beckon call). I agree with Rolls that women in Vancouver are a mess in wanting to attract a man then turning most of them down at every turn. It's a power struggle. They look good, you chase, they turn you down, they win. Or do they?
They accept, you wine and dine, you win?
How many of my gal pals in the past have complained about guys in the city and dating in general when they give little chance for it. Too cautious in my book.
Women can't have multiple sexual relationships without being considered skanks, but men are heroes if they score regularly? Must have something to do with proliferation of the gene and the historical male dominance of society.
I would expect that if a woman was sleeping with multiple partners, it would increase the genetic diversity of her offspring just as much as a male's. I would think, however, that if a woman were sleeping with males that were not alpha, she may be diluting her offspring's genetic potential, hence the skank perception. Wouldn't it be also the same for men if they are promiscuous with women that are not desirable? Sex for the sake of sex does not maximize offspring's genetic potential therefore decreases chance of survival (in nature, not society).
I respect everyone's responses and choices and try never to pass judgment on anyone as you can never truly understand someone else's situation in it's absolute entirety. There always has to be a level of considering (walking a mile in their shoes) and then a level of respect once the consideration is made. This cognitive process takes time, however, and judgment is a primal instinct designed to prevent us from harm by allowing us to thin-slice a situation and analyze it in milli-seconds without conscious thought.
In today's world, judgment is not as often applicable as it is used. Nature's laws don't seem to run parallel well with society's laws.
I remember that I started this hobby out of a desire to sleep with what I thought were typically unattainable women, although even in high school I was the first of my friends to lose my virginity and always had the best looking gal pals and the hottest girlfriends although few and far between.
In the sexual prime of my life, I swore off dating women as I thought that every relationship I had was meant to be committed. Probably something to do with my parent's relationship being fairly dysfunctional.
SPs became my outlet for sexual need and it worked well. No emotional attachment and available almost on a whim. More cost-effective in time, less so in cash.
I find dating to be the opposite of what I used to perceive it to be. Every relationship in our lives involves some sort of power struggle. The most successful ones are enjoyed by those who know exactly when to concede to the other and how to maintain a balance of energy between the two spirit-beings and not their mental beings.
Men that can pick up on the subtleties of a woman's actions and desires when in fact their words may indicate exactly the opposite, and women that can understand the superficial nature of men and the simplicity in which most of us act/react.
It is a game of seeking balance between push and pull. To attract a being toward you and then them attract you in return. If one being attracts too strongly, eventually the balance shifts and if the other being does not focus within themselves, the result can appear to be a neediness(a focus on needing the other) which may in turn repel the partner.
When I attract a woman now, it has to be done in a way that intrigues her and engages her. I draw her towards me and wait to see if she can draw me towards her before the over-compensation in balance occurs. This I find different than what most men consider to be true dating etiquette.
Women do not need to be wined and dined to the extent that men think. The energy does not need to be put forth so aggressively. It needs to remain a subtle draw. If you choose to wine and dine her, it quickly becomes an over-compensation in her favour. She is then drawing you in. Eventually you find yourself playing catch-up to her expectancies and perhaps later resentment when you feel your expectations are not being met.
There are always exceptions to the rule, but I've found only ever initially. It always comes out at some point in the relationship, sometimes in the form of arguments, sometimes in a more passive aggressive way such as wandering eyes, flirting or cheating on a partner and being less than discreet for the purpose of drawing attention.
This generally leads to a downward spiral in the relationship. A dangerous place to be when there are dependents involved. Children learn most from unspoken communication and often learn best before the age of three when their language centres are not fully developed. Think of how you communicate with a cat or dog. Body language, gestures, tone of voice, etc.
Now, if I want to get into a relationship, I am very aware of how much work is involved and how much emotional commitment it takes from both parties.
I know women who say that they don't get attached after sleeping with a man, yet start to act needy after a few occasions which pushes the man away because he expects otherwise. Oxytocin is a chemical released during sexual activity that stimulates a feeling of closeness and bonding. In particular in women. In men, it seems that Oxytocin is responsible more for erection and the rewards of intercourse rather than bonding.
Vasopressin is another hormone involved in the pair-bonding relationship, and although the two work in concert, Oxytocin gains more press.
Women are attracted to a man's genetic traits, not his societal symbolic traits. Although they may represent some of his genetic traits. Money may mean a safe environment and being well provided for, but it does not guarantee an emotional commitment.
Working on confidence, posture, physical fitness and hygiene all improve the chances of attracting a mate, if that's the choice. Sometimes the choice is see an SP instead.
All long-term relationships are hard work... the more time spent in the company of a partner, the harder it gets as motivation and emotion can erode over time.
Visiting an SP is a relationship of an often pre-determined amount of time. There is no mistake that when you are done your session, there is perhaps a desire by either party to remain, but not much to be done about it. This is a cognitive process that may eventually alter the physiological responses to sex. Some SPs have told me about how they used to get off with their clients and eventually did not anymore.
Whether necessity, preference, or the "female daring character" we all make a choice based on some underlying physiological need often produced by an emotional pre-cursor.
I'll shut-up now.
Wow... good post! I wish I could write so eloquently. I have to admit I am a little bit surprised by your perceptiveness, intelligence and spirituality....
wow, great thread tantalizeme. it's great to see how honest clients and sp's are.
personally, i think i fall into both categories. i started the hobby 2 years ago after i had broken up with my long time gf and i got curious. heck i'll just say what it was. i was 23 at the time, and i was friggin' horny. so that's where my first experience came from.
i'm not even close to being a male supermodel, but i guess i'm ok. and i don't have trouble talking and getting to know women.
but one thing that kept me repeating with sp's while i was openly dating (various at the same time), was that i could never get my old gf to do some of the stuff that was done. not freaky s&m stuff or anything like that. but just for example rimming. it was just so easy. just ask them to. haha.
anyway right after the breakup, i was totally off my game so it became necessity. but once i got back on the dating scene it was preference. and dollar-wise, believe me, pooning was waaaaay cheaper.
now that i'm with one steady gf, i choose not to partake out of respect for her. and although she doesn't do a lot of what my "go-to" sp friends used to do, i'm happy.
cheers,
-chuck
**poon-free 88 days and counting**
personally, i think i fall into both categories. i started the hobby 2 years ago after i had broken up with my long time gf and i got curious. heck i'll just say what it was. i was 23 at the time, and i was friggin' horny. so that's where my first experience came from.
i'm not even close to being a male supermodel, but i guess i'm ok. and i don't have trouble talking and getting to know women.
but one thing that kept me repeating with sp's while i was openly dating (various at the same time), was that i could never get my old gf to do some of the stuff that was done. not freaky s&m stuff or anything like that. but just for example rimming. it was just so easy. just ask them to. haha.
anyway right after the breakup, i was totally off my game so it became necessity. but once i got back on the dating scene it was preference. and dollar-wise, believe me, pooning was waaaaay cheaper.
now that i'm with one steady gf, i choose not to partake out of respect for her. and although she doesn't do a lot of what my "go-to" sp friends used to do, i'm happy.
cheers,
-chuck
**poon-free 88 days and counting**
High-End Hottie has my category pegged perfectly. I have been happily married for nearly 40 years. I have several close women friends with whom I maintain a warm but platonic relationship. Living in a small town rumours of affairs can become public knowledge too quickly so I , out of necessity, wait for a chance to go out of town to poon.
This is a very interesting topic. The hobbiests you have posted have a wider range of reasons than I would have imagined.
unfortunately desperation
wish it was not but it's the truth
i someday hope ( i am working on this) to get to the point that it will be by choice
pathetic i know but again its the truth i have a need and this is the only way i can satisfy it
wish it was not but it's the truth
i someday hope ( i am working on this) to get to the point that it will be by choice
pathetic i know but again its the truth i have a need and this is the only way i can satisfy it
Of course it is a choice for me. I am not desperate. Most SP's actually offer the session for free because I am so hot but I pay because I am a gentlemen.
y'know what? it is what it is. no need to be ashamed or anything.
oh and hahhaha!!
-chuck
**poon-free 91 days and counting**
