The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer given by one Student was so
"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,
which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus
Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools
when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One
student,
however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets
to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many
souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist
in
the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member
of
their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are,
we
can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we
look
at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that
in
order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume
of
Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with
you",
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then
number 2
must be true, and thus I am sure Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows
that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...
leaving
only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains
why
last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer given by one Student was so
"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,
which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus
Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools
when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One
student,
however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets
to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many
souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist
in
the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member
of
their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are,
we
can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we
look
at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that
in
order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume
of
Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with
you",
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then
number 2
must be true, and thus I am sure Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows
that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...
leaving
only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains
why
last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
