Informing an SO about a planned pooning trip overseas: any ideas how best to do this?

[yazoo]

The Philippines is having a big problem with kiddie porn right now, which is why they enacted their over-reaching law that placed limits on the internet, and got tossed by their supreme court (I think, running on memory here). They also have a problem with those live cam sites that often hire underage workers. I don't think you are doing anyone a favour by spreading those links.

The legit, of age, sites are not much better. Often they are run by expats who have run out of money and want to extend their stay in paradise. They hire an SP, ask to take pics, promise "only for me, only for me" then plaster them all over the internet to get cash. The girls I met in Thailand knew about it and hated it. They went through my camera after a shoot deleting face with nude pics, apologizing the whole time. Please don't give these sites the traffic they crave.

 

[Hoops]

For the record, I read your posts about international pooning and they are very interesting but.....

I think the reality is that you will get dumped or divorced as most womens thoughts would be :

a ) Disgusted that she is having sex with a man who wants to fuck children ( sure, there at least 14 ) and sex trafficed women.

b ) My middle aged husband who doesn't fulfill me sexually and is far from the form of "insert hot guy here" is going to fuck little girls while I stay at home, work, pay the bills and take care of the household ?

Maybe I watch to many documentaries and I am not saying you go to fuck little girls, but I do think that would be a womens first thought.

Sorry if this is offensive, and I am not against you helping out these girls overseas if they are of age and doing it because they want to but I think the majority of women, especially intelligent women of a certain age will think one of these two things.

How would you feel if your long term SO walked up to you one morning and said " I think I'm going to go to Jamaica and find some young hotties to pay for wild sex for two weeks with my girlfriends, I hope you don't mind staying home and doing nothing while I'm off on some magical sexual adventure with men far better looking then you and half your age in paradise. Take care sweetie."

I'm young and open-minded and an escort, but I don't even think I would be stoaked to have a boyfriend tell me he's going on a sexual adventure where safe sex may not be a higher priority then money, and STI's and AIDS are rapidly spread.

Okay....ready for the backlash to begin......

Just because you predict the backlash it doesn't mean you don't deserve it.

You are accusing travelling pooners of being bareback fucking, pedophiles.
Of course you describe yourself as a young, open minded, documentary watching escort.

 

[blazejowski]

What the fuck....??
Those girls look like they're 10.... fucking sick...

 

[gonzo34]

She's got a point though, doesn't she? Lots of sex tourists are looking for the taboo things they can't get here. Its naive to deny that.

 

[Hoops]

My bad.

I left untouched the only true statement in your posts.

 

[tantalizeme]

Thank you for thoughtfully worded input

I think the reality is that you will get dumped or divorced as most womens thoughts would be :

a ) Disgusted that she is having sex with a man who wants to fuck children ( sure, there at least 14 ) and sex trafficed women.

b ) My middle aged husband who doesn't fulfill me sexually and is far from the form of "insert hot guy here" is going to fuck little girls while I stay at home, work, pay the bills and take care of the household ?

How would you feel if your long term SO walked up to you one morning and said " I think I'm going to go to Jamaica and find some young hotties to pay for wild sex for two weeks with my girlfriends, I hope you don't mind staying home and doing nothing while I'm off on some magical sexual adventure with men far better looking then you and half your age in paradise. Take care sweetie."

Hey BC_BABE,

You've beautifully articulated the reaction of conventional housewifey types upon learning, their husband wants to go on a sex vacation. You're right, they'd be livid with anger.

I think a large part of the problem is: most parents don't train their kids to respect a future partner's sexual autonomy, but instead raise unrealistic expectations of lifelong monogamy—expectations that make people want to control their partner's sexuality in a self-righteously possessive way.

You also raise several relevant issues that deserve to be thrashed out:

•How can a woman be sure her partner practices safe sex overseas (and are all those readily offered and almost irresistible BBBJs really safe?)

•How does a woman deal with insecurities about her looks or age when she tracks down the history of her partner's website visits and sees all those photos of luscious Thai honeys?

•How will a woman's partner handle her (possibly retaliative) assertion of sexual autonomy—for example, if she starts an affair in his absence? Obviously, almost any reasonably well-preserved woman can go to any neighborhood pub any night of the week and recruit one or more willing sex partners; most men don't have this option.
---

And sadly, you're absolutely right: most women's first thought will conform to prevailing stereotypes. It's difficult to reason with a woman who has been brainwashed to think a "sex tourist" is "a man who wants to fuck children."

It's probably impossible to have a productive conversation with one's SO about this topic out of the blue, especially if she doesn't even have an emotionally neutral vocabulary to discuss it. Perhaps hoping against hope to sway her opinion, I might say the following:

"Yes, darling—some of the men who pay for sex in countries like Thailand seek out underage girls or boys. But they're the pariahs among travelling hobbyists.

I'm sure you'd agree that we can't judge homosexuals by a few gay pedophiles. We can't judge all women by a few feminazi crackpots. We can't judge all Moslems by relatively few suicide bombers, or all Americans by the gun fanatics in the National Rifle Association.

And similarly, we can't fairly judge travelling hobbyists by a small minority of child-molesting pariahs among them."

You'll probably laugh, BC_BABE, and tell me this approach is hopeless. You'll perhaps predict, my SO will rip my head off for wanting to go pooning overseas.

But believe it or not, there're a few women in this world who understand: sex is sex and love is love—and while, ideally, they happen together, most men have no trouble enjoying sex separately from love.

The arrangement I have with my SO is that I can have all the sexual variety I want, as along as I pay for it (and take intelligent steps to avoid STDs).

Just like millions of affairs are going to happen, no matter what—and we need to find ways of reconciling them with existing relationships—so millions of men are going to visit SPs in pooner-friendly countries, no matter what.

This thread was intended to promote dialogue about how to reconcile such pooning trips abroad with existing relationships.

BC_BABE, you've certainly made an inspiring contribution to this topic. And I also appreciate you for stating a deep truth:

The fact is, I've met a lot of members of this board and I know you would go to Asia and treat these girls better then the locals probably do.

 

[Pillowtalk]

Thanks to the mods for removing the questionable link. There is still a live link in post #20.
I dont find a link to the site posted by Anita in the original Thai porn site link posted by Tantalizeme.

Here's what picks my butt about this - I posted a thread a couple of days ago about a gang rape in India that had received international attention. It got very little response but for some reason certain people have to point out all the injustice in the world by using this thread to raise hypothetical questions simply because a particular personality is involved. In fact, there are many threads in the forum that touch on live issues related to questions of ethics in pooning but these same people are silent. To me you're just lame old trolls trolling.

But isn't the entire poll about hypothetical scenarios and ethics as well? Can you be surprised, knowing that you yourself say that you laugh at tantalize's posts themselves because they can only be a joke, and not serious, that some people are going to take the post and the options provided and actually comment or reply to that?

BC babe is talking about the majority media driven view, you can't deny that or that the judgment of an SO is what is being questioned or talked about here. It was the entire purpose of the thread itself.


What comes to mind to me now tho is why have separate vacations at all? Why doesn't it occur to the OP that the SO just might feel neglected and sad about being left behind rather than included on a trip to Asia, to see the sights and spend time with their chosen SO? Why does the OP and others feel that their journey can only be a sex trip, and not appreciate the country, culture and scenary and share that not with another sex addict, but with their SO?

Like anything else in life, shared experiences are what makes a relationship. If one side is not contributing to it's growth, they shouldn't in a relationship at all. And I'm speaking only at this level, of going on vacation for a week or more alone, rather than with an SO. It's completely different to see an sp once a week for an hour or two, than to say, hey SO, I'm going to spend 3000 of OUR money and take a vacay in Thailand to see cheap bar girls, so see ya later, and hope you have a good time not going on vacation, and trying to make ends meet to pay the bills without that 3000 of OUR money.


And just if we decide to make it about BC Babe, she is, like the bar girls and Thai sps, under 25 and a true beauty. I don't think you have to worry about her feeling unattractive and housewifish. Also, the women here are not necessarily monogamous, nor judgy about men seeing escorts, or anything of the sort. It is less about what the guy is going to do in Thailand (or wherever), and more about the fact he is selfish enough to spend his time and their money, (assuming they are a couple), and not even consider that she too might like a vacation with or without him.

 

[tantalizeme]

Good to see Pillow getting right into the spirit of this thread!

What comes to mind to me now tho is why have separate vacations at all? Why doesn't it occur to the OP that the SO just might feel neglected and sad about being left behind rather than included on a trip to Asia, to see the sights and spend time with their chosen SO? Why does the OP and others feel that their journey can only be a sex trip, and not appreciate the country, culture and scenary and share that not with another sex addict, but with their SO?

Hey Pillowtalk,

Thanks for your interest in an important topic: how to reconcile a committed relationship with overseas pooning trips.

This issue is no joke but deeply real. Not wanting to lose our SO is the central problem that keeps many of us pooners from having as much fun as we otherwise could.

You're quite an astute hobby counselor, Pillow—and I see you're siding with the 2 guys out of 12 who voted on my poll saying they'd take their SO along on a sex vacation (and then presumably poon behind her back).

There's no ideal solution here, and your preferred option certainly has its advantages:

•It avoids leaving behind an SO fuming with resentment—who might possibly do something destructive, like wanting to break up or start an affair.

•It allows a couple to explore the sights and delights of a foreign country together, which strengthens the relationship.

•The company of someone you love can provide the kind of meaningful communicative intimacy that's just not possible with an overseas working girl.

But, speaking from experience, inviting one's SO along to pooner's paradise has obvious drawbacks as well.

•Your SO can easily become the proverbial millstone around your neck and want attention, just when you're in a pooning mood in a prime location.

•Ironically, the fact that you've sex on your mind may subconsciously stimulate your SO's own libido, and then you'll be obligated to direct your limited supply of ammunition toward her.

•The very fact that your SO envelops you with warmth and caring will take the edge off loneliness and neediness, which saps your urge to make the most of the silver-platter temptations surrounding you.

•Your SO may not like to book a conveniently located budget hotel in the red-light district, but likely prefers a ritzier hotel in a shopping district that's far away from Hooker Central.

•If your SO didn't give you the "all clear" to poon in the first place, then the stage is set for a big jealousy trandrum when she gets wind of what you're up to. Your SO can't fail to notice the wealth of poonland's erotic offerings—and she'll habour growing suspicion as you return from frequent absences with a big smile on your face.

Nothing like serious conflict with one's SO to spoil one's pooning mood! So dragging your SO along to the frontline of overseas pooning is likely to be an exercise in frustration for you, or even a time bomb waiting to explode.

I'm definitely planning to take my next trip to Asia either alone or with a congenial male buddy.

 

[yazoo]

There's no ideal solution here, and your preferred option certainly has its advantages:

•It avoids leaving behind an SO fuming with resentment—who might possibly do something destructive, like wanting to break up or start an affair.

•It allows a couple to explore the sights and delights of a foreign country together, which strengthens the relationship.

•The company of someone you love can provide the kind of meaningful communicative intimacy that's just not possible with an overseas working girl.

I think that you have me convinced to bring the SO along to Vancouver punting trips as well since:

• I won't have to get into a cold car when I return with wet freshly washed hair
• Parking is not always available, and she can drive around for the session length, and then come and pick me up
• Since I don't have to pay for downtown parking, I can afford to extend the session by an extra 15 minutes
• Even with the extra time, I don't always finish on time, so we can always duck into an alley for a quick HJ.
• I don't have to go into sketchy places with lots of cash - if I end up with the option of a duo I can ask her to do a quick run to the ATM

I'm sure that there are some drawbacks, but the advantages are pretty compelling.

 

[Pillowtalk]

Hey Pillowtalk,

Thanks for your interest in an important topic: how to reconcile a committed relationship with overseas pooning trips.

This issue is no joke but deeply real. Not wanting to lose our SO is the central problem that keeps many of us pooners from having as much fun as we otherwise could.

You're quite an astute hobby counselor, Pillow—and I see you're siding with the 2 guys out of 12 who voted on my poll saying they'd take their SO along on a sex vacation (and then presumably poon behind her back).

There's no ideal solution here, and your preferred option certainly has its advantages:

•It avoids leaving behind an SO fuming with resentment—who might possibly do something destructive, like wanting to break up or start an affair.

•It allows a couple to explore the sights and delights of a foreign country together, which strengthens the relationship.

•The company of someone you love can provide the kind of meaningful communicative intimacy that's just not possible with an overseas working girl.

But, speaking from experience, inviting one's SO along to pooner's paradise has obvious drawbacks as well.

•Your SO can easily become the proverbial millstone around your neck and want attention, just when you're in a pooning mood in a prime location.

•Ironically, the fact that you've sex on your mind may subconsciously stimulate your SO's own libido, and then you'll be obligated to direct your limited supply of ammunition toward her.

•The very fact that your SO envelops you with warmth and caring will take the edge off loneliness and neediness, which saps your urge to make the most of the silver-platter temptations surrounding you.

•Your SO may not like to book a conveniently located budget hotel in the red-light district, but likely prefers a ritzier hotel in a shopping district that's far away from Hooker Central.

•If your SO didn't give you the "all clear" to poon in the first place, then the stage is set for a big jealousy trandrum when she gets wind of what you're up to. Your SO can't fail to notice the wealth of poonland's erotic offerings—and she'll habour growing suspicion as you return from frequent absences with a big smile on your face.

Nothing like serious conflict with one's SO to spoil one's pooning mood! So dragging your SO along to the frontline of overseas pooning is likely to be an exercise in frustration for you, or even a time bomb waiting to explode.

I'm definitely planning to take my next trip to Asia either alone or with a congenial male buddy.

Question still stands tho, why do you have an SO if you consider them to be a 'millstone' and/or a detriment to your life, as opposed to an advantage? To me it sounds like you could care less about this SO as a person in your life. It just seems to me that you have no idea of what an SO is, and that is kind of sad, not that you don't understand women, but that you could care less about the person who chooses to be in your life, apart from her body parts being open for you anytime you want.

You as a dom, need a submissive. I think that doms have no interest in the feelings and desires of the women in their lives, and subs are willing and wanting to do whatever demeaning and degrading thing the dom tells her to do.

You also, once again, miss the point, that a shared vacation is not about you and you alone, but a shared experience between two people who like each other and are concerned with each other's happiness. It seems to me that you have no interest in any SO's happiness or sharing anything, and that her only usefulness to you personally is her body parts.

You could always chain someone up in the basement if sex is the only thing you want from your SO. Then of course, the question of taking her with you on vacation is no longer a problem.

 

[Pillowtalk]

I think that you have me convinced to bring the SO along to Vancouver punting trips as well since:

• I won't have to get into a cold car when I return with wet freshly washed hair
• Parking is not always available, and she can drive around for the session length, and then come and pick me up
• Since I don't have to pay for downtown parking, I can afford to extend the session by an extra 15 minutes
• Even with the extra time, I don't always finish on time, so we can always duck into an alley for a quick HJ.
• I don't have to go into sketchy places with lots of cash - if I end up with the option of a duo I can ask her to do a quick run to the ATM

I'm sure that there are some drawbacks, but the advantages are pretty compelling.

That's funny, lol

 

[tantalizeme]

Hey brother, I'm sure you'll agree...

I think that you have me convinced to bring the SO along to Vancouver punting trips as well since:

• I won`t have to get into a cold car when I return with wet freshly washed hair
• Parking is not always available, and she can drive around for the session length, and then come and pick me up
• Since I don`t have to pay for downtown parking, I can afford to extend the session by an extra 15 minutes
• Even with the extra time, I don`t always finish on time, so we can always duck into an alley for a quick HJ.
• I don`t have to go into sketchy places with lots of cash - if I end up with the option of a duo I can ask her to do a quick run to the ATM

...life is a balancing act between opposing options and viewpoints. And different reasons tip the balance for different people in very different ways.

You seem to have lucked out with your wife, in some respects. No way my SO would be willing to wait outside in the car—or circle in traffic if there`s no free parking—until I`ve finished whooping it up with an SP. Sure hope your ultra-submissive jewel of a wifey gives you head in the car as well.

But having your wife wait in the car while you poon in Vancouver is one thing. Taking her along to your favorite erotic stomping grounds in Thailand is quite a different kettle of fish. Here I`m thinking especially of your stated penchant for LT involving overnighters.

Or would your wife be willing to accommodate an SP in bed with the two of you, watching you bang her or even joining in?

If so, man, do I ever envy you! In the abstract some SOs let us see SPs—but if they actually witnessed how much fun we`re having with those "Adorable Vivi"-type Asian hotties, insecurity in the form of jealousy would almost certainly kick in. https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?177427-Vivi-4544-my-take-on-this-young-lady/page2

It`s one of life`s tragic conundrums that most males of the species have to walk the tightrope between achieving a satisfying sex life and showing affection and honesty toward their SO, don`t you think?

 

[yazoo]

...life is a balancing act between opposing options and viewpoints. And different reasons tip the balance for different people in very different ways.

You seem to have lucked out with your wife, in some respects. No way my SO would be willing to wait outside in the car—or circle in traffic if there`s no free parking—until I`ve finished whooping it up with an SP. Sure hope your ultra-submissive jewel of a wifey gives you head in the car as well.

I don`t think that I would agree with your characterization of her as a submissive jewel. It is just what two loving partners do for each other. I often wait for her in the car during her long appointments at the priest, as well as her therapist, her banker and her lawyer - so it is merely a quid pro quo. As for head in the car - why would I want to leave the warm embrace of my SP for a dirty blowjob in some alley? Now you are getting ridiculous!

But having your wife wait in the car while you poon in Vancouver is one thing. Taking her along to your favorite erotic stomping grounds in Thailand is quite a different kettle of fish. Here I`m thinking especially of your stated penchant for LT involving overnighters.

You are absolutely right that I prefer overnighters. It allows me to develop a far deeper emotional attachment resulting in a richer experience. There is nothing that really compares here in Canada. I suppose I could have overnighters, however the cost would quite possibly exceed the air trip to Thailand.

You have now convinced me, however, that bringing my SO along would be very counter-productive. There are simply non of the advantages that exist in Canada. There are no cold cars to worry about, no exorbitant parking, in fact, all the action happens in my own hotel room. There simply are no savings to be had. In fact there are costs, since most hotels charge extra for a cot in the room.

Or would your wife be willing to accommodate an SP in bed with the two of you, watching you bang her or even joining in?

If so, man, do I ever envy you! In the abstract some SOs let us see SPs—but if they actually witnessed how much fun we`re having with those "Adorable Vivi"-type Asian hotties, insecurity in the form of jealousy would almost certainly kick in. https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?177427-Vivi-4544-my-take-on-this-young-lady/page2

It`s one of life`s tragic conundrums that most males of the species have to walk the tightrope between achieving a satisfying sex life and showing affection and honesty toward their SO, don`t you think?

It is, which is why we are both honest with each other. We both of just want each other to be happy and are willing to do whatever it takes to ensure that. That`s the commitment we made. I really should introduce my wife to ViVi sometime. I`m sure she would just love her. Doesn`t everyone?