In Praise of Jelly Roll

[Oldfart]

A few days ago, someone used "vajayjay" in a review, and I gave him a hard time about it. Personally, I feel that word is the lamest synonym for pussy I've ever heard. It just makes me cringe every time I hear it.

In my comments, I listed a few of my favourite alternatives, including quim and bint. But I just now realized I left out what has got to be one of the very best ways in the history of the English language to mean cunt without actually saying it. And that is Jelly Roll.

Not only is it safe enough to use in polite company, but it also is less disrespectful than, for example, tuna taco. It's one of those terms that is more of a praise than an insult.

In the U.K. if a bloke wants to insult another bloke, he'll call him a stupid fucking cunt. But you can't do that with Jelly Roll. It's a moniker that the great Mr. Morton was proud to hang upon himself.

So, join with me in praise of Jelly Roll.

Next time you write a review, consider saying something like, "her jelly roll was tasty and tight," or "I loved that her jelly roll was adorned with a tuft of golden fleece."

Give it a try and you may find yourself inspired to be more poetic.

And it stoned me to my soul.
Stoned me just like jelly roll...
-Van Morrison

 

[oppai]

If you call someone a jelly roll it means they are a fatty, so I think it would be a derogatory term.

 

[anonanon]

I'd also say that referencing to it as a Jelly Roll means that she is fat....

But, really, any word is better than cunt. Always hated that word....

 

[Mona_Ramone]

vulva vulva vulva

tom robbins called it a 'peachfish.'

i've made a jelly roll before, and i have to tell you, if my lady-parts resembled one (layers of moist cake with sweet jelly oozing out between) i would run, not walk, to the gynecologist.

i'm a big fan of calling things what they are. its a vulva.

vulva, vulva, vulva.

 

[Oldfart]

tom robbins called it a 'peachfish.'

i've made a jelly roll before, and i have to tell you, if my lady-parts resembled one (layers of moist cake with sweet jelly oozing out between) i would run, not walk, to the gynecologist.

i'm a big fan of calling things what they are. its a vulva.

vulva, vulva, vulva.

Vulva may be correct, but it is a long way away from being euphonious.
I do, however, love peachfish.

 

[blazejowski]

I always was fond of "taco" or "muff"

 

[uncleg]

tom robbins called it a 'peachfish.'

i've made a jelly roll before, and i have to tell you, if my lady-parts resembled one (layers of moist cake with sweet jelly oozing out between) i would run, not walk, to the gynecologist.

i'm a big fan of calling things what they are. its a vulva.

vulva, vulva, vulva.

I thought that was a car they built in Sweden.

 

[Avery]

i'm a big fan of calling things what they are. its a vulva.

vulva, vulva, vulva.

"Vulva" isdefinitely the technically correct word, but it sounds dirtier than most of the dirty words.

And, of the dirty words, to me, "twat" sounds dirtier than "cunt".

 

[oppai]

Gash, snatch, pink bits would be my top 3.

 

[mimi]

If my jelly roll had a tuft of golden fleece I would check the expiry date

 

[mimi]

me too! And it goes especially well with phrases like: "Lick my...." or "feel my.....gripping your...."

It is a nice word to whisper in someones ear when a feeling of extreme thankfulness is washing over the body

 

[henryhill]

I like to call it a "cookie"

 

[Oldfart]

I like to call it a "cookie"

I hope you have only misspelled coochie.

 

[anonanon]

"cookie"

That reminds me, I'm hungry. Wasn't I supposed to get lunch like a few hours ago?

 

[blazejowski]

I like to call it a "cookie"

Hopefully it's not the crunchy kind, more the moist, warm ones you get straight out of the oven...

 

[Oldfart]

vajayjay

If there were such a thing as a vajayjay, this is what it would probably look like...