i was just outed publicly....

[PlayfulAlex]

Sorry to hear this happened to you, Miss Merlot. Somehow it will all work out, and you`ll continue to hold your head up high!

What`s up with Sask and Victoria lately, sheesh?

https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthrea...obility-account-hacked-by-another-SP-Victoria

 

[LalaniElectrica]

So sad that people actually go out of their way to violate your safety and that of your family! Those women should be outed, as now since you have been, I would be talking to the local paper about how they violated your privacy and discretion and that was a serious breech of trust between fellow mothers and they should be ashamed of themselves!!! As you said, I feel sorry for their husbands who they do not allow to even watch porn… it's no wonder why they must be jealous of you to stoop to such measures!!! Be proud of who you are, and what you have accomplished, you have broken the taboo and can rise above it all! Chin up!

 

[Sonny]

Feel no shame in the work you have chosen to do, then the attacks from others cannot hurt you personally.... it's just their prejudice on display.
No point in trying to recover family-in-laws who have written you off. Those who do not care about you and your well-being are not worth your effort.
Revenge against others who have harmed you by this outing only fans the flames of acrimony, and the incident becomes endless.
Respond with self-assurance and courtesy in any interaction. Give adversaries nothing to work with.

If you have children, they unfortunately are subject to the ill-will of dark hearts and are surrounded by the sea of disapproval your work bears.
Talk to a lawyer, sue for temporary custody, take your kids and move to another city, still where their father can exercise visitation that a court would likely allow him.
Talk to your estranged husband and see if he will support the well-being of your children or not. If not, seek to eliminate his visitation privilege.
If your children are old enough, consider talking to them.

 

[Tugela]

yes well hopefully they wont stoop that low

Unfortunately, the sort of people who are bothered by what you do and go so far as to attack you, won't hesitate to stoop low. They are self righteous, and believe that makes anything they do right, even though they have no morals at all.

 

[MelodyMerlotSask]

I have to say being outed has been.....crushing.
My father in law died Thursday morning
I am not welcome to grieve with the family or go to the funeral
To be honest ...it's a relief and it's heartbreaking all at the same time.
I took off and right now feeling pretty blue :-(

Thanks gentleman.

Susie and I are both working as advocates within the industry and have different areas of expertise.

She's an expert at working in person with SP's, while my area of expertise is working with our online communities across the country.

I took some time off from perb over the winter to focus on educating our Ontario and Quebec industry communities about how to deal with online legal issues, including 'outings'.

It's tragic to see so many careers, reputations and relationships ruined, and it's time for us to recognize 'outing' for what it is.

It's a malicious criminal act committed against another person, and the people who do it should be held accountable.

 

[Ms Erica Phoenix]

I have to say being outed has been.....crushing.
My father in law died Thursday morning
I am not welcome to grieve with the family or go to the funeral
To be honest ...it's a relief and it's heartbreaking all at the same time.
I took off and am in Edmonton right now feeling pretty blue :-(

Oh honey...no one can stop you grieving for people you care for. It's on them for pushing you out and not the other way around. Surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you and be kind to yourself.

 

[MelodyMerlotSask]

I don't really have people......but I am just staying as far away as I can and will respectfully allow them to grieve their father.
I think life will throw obstacles on your way sometimes, and sometimes life is rough, there are always lessons to be learned and room to grow.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

Oh honey...no one can stop you grieving for people you care for. It's on them for pushing you out and not the other way around. Surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you and be kind to yourself.

 

[vanessa kelly]

I have to say being outed has been.....crushing.
My father in law died Thursday morning
I am not welcome to grieve with the family or go to the funeral
To be honest ...it's a relief and it's heartbreaking all at the same time.
I took off and right now feeling pretty blue :-(

I know this breaks your heart as we have chatted about this I am going to be back in E-Town tomorrow if your still in town I will have a BIG HUG and a glass of wine for you pretty girl
Dr.V

 

[MelodyMerlotSask]

I'm pretty sure I will be here and could really use that hug doc
When it rains it pours and I have been waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under my feet
And I guess this is it.
Either I crumble under the pressure or I stand tall.
And I refuse to crumble
Thing that really upsets me is with his family, no one is looking at HIM and asking wtf.
It's ALL on me. All of it.
And christ what am I doing that's so bad, really?

I know this breaks your heart as we have chatted about this I am going to be back in E-Town tomorrow if your still in town I will have a BIG HUG and a glass of wine for you pretty girl
Dr.V

 

[Ms Erica Phoenix]

I don't really have people......but I am just staying as far away as I can and will respectfully allow them to grieve their father.
I think life will throw obstacles on your way sometimes, and sometimes life is rough, there are always lessons to be learned and room to grow.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

The Nietzsche version (as opposed to thecatchy Kelly Clarkson song) is 'That which does not destroy us makes us stronger', but as I have said before, my favourite quote about resilience is 'We all break; afterwards, some of us are stronger in the broken places.' I know it's Hemingway, I don't know from what, since I blatantly lifted it off an episode of Criminal Minds...(so I hear it in Hotch's voice forever in my head!)

 

[Jessikaxxx]

Hey V.K....
Please give Miss Merlot a big hug for me too.
I'm so glad that there are women on this thread who are showing their support.
The preconceived notions of people about SPs can be dangerous.
My condolences to you Miss Merlot regarding the death of your father in law.
Love and respect,
Jxxx

 

[sevenofnine]

I really do wonder at the point of the internet sometimes.

It gives people the free reign to say pretty much anything spread gossip stick their noses into stuff that is none of their dam business out people slander people threaten people etc etc.

A peace of advice, when you put yourself out there, you become a target.
Its like a big dam bulleyes on you,

If you have things to hide you should keep a low profile. If you don't have a thick skin you should keep a low profile.

Your a mom I am assuming, so for your kids think about the profile or the extent of what your doing.
The risk to them.

Im not saying moms shouldn't do what they do, but you have to be aware, its not you alone in this when you have kids.

Its funny, in my youth i spent a lot of time alone, there is peace there,
that all changes when you step out in to the world.

Sad but I was thinking today, how many people actually make great friends and companions, not actually very many to be honest with you,


and again from my only family drama all weekend, be the best parent you can be, your kids will love you for it, or suffer for it.