and she always told me I was wrong. She thought her butt was too big, her boobs too small and a bit saggy, her thighs too thick, her hair had streaks of gray and she was allergic to the dye so the gray stayed. She had a zillion reasons why she wasn't beautiful and then she left me for another lover. For a while I still thought she was beautiful. Memory takes some time to fade. Today I realized she never understood. She was beautiful to me because she treated me with love. She rubbed my neck, played with my hair, told me I was the finest lover she ever had, walked and talked with me, played cards and dice till 3am and made love till 5. She filled up my life. That's what made her beautiful. Then she took it away. Today I realize she isn't beautiful any more...........
I used to tell her every day that she was beautiful
- Thread starter maroonedsailor
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Ditto,don't worry it gets better.Theres a reason why some things are in your past,because they were never meant to be in your future....
Thanks guys
I just thought it was strange. She always insisted I was wrong and now she's right but she isn't happy. I'm cool with it now. Of course I wasn't at first because it was a surprise, but I figure everyone has to live their own life, learn their own lessons, and pay whatever price the universe demands of us. It just hit me as odd........
I just thought it was strange. She always insisted I was wrong and now she's right but she isn't happy. I'm cool with it now. Of course I wasn't at first because it was a surprise, but I figure everyone has to live their own life, learn their own lessons, and pay whatever price the universe demands of us. It just hit me as odd........
Yeah - I always thought that tolerance was the key factor in a successfull relationship and that's probably true until you have to deal with victims of child abuse, sexual abuse, alcoholic/drug addicted parents and so on. Then it's a whole different bucket of fish. Actually, I'm surprised that none of the ladies have weighed in on this one.
Great post......where are these worthy women you talk about? I would like to meet one please......
Nina, as much as I'd like to tell you that you're absolutely correct, I'm afraid I can't. You're totally right for you. Some people can't handle being loved or told that they are. I'm not talking stalker here. What I'm referring to is a deep rooted pshychological aversion to certain words/actions that, taken in the context of a 5 year old abuse victim, strike fear into the very heart of the adult. There is a great deal more to this story than what's posted here of course but suffice it to say THIS woman does NOT want to hear she's beautiful because SHE doesn't believe she is.......It's complicated.....
wouldn't we all...................The trick is to be ready for her when she finally arrives. (which will happen about the time you're ready LOL)
This is the problem with women, they "think too much"
When I tell a woman I think she's beautiful - it's not about looks - it's about how I feel when we are together.
I have learned over time - that women who can't handle simple compliments are best left... it's a HUGE red flag for self esteem issues.
When I tell a woman I think she's beautiful - it's not about looks - it's about how I feel when we are together.
I have learned over time - that women who can't handle simple compliments are best left... it's a HUGE red flag for self esteem issues.
Great thread MS. I feel for you because it never feels good to be rejected. However, from my perspective you won in this situation. She left you for another guy. As a result you are not on the hook to support her for years. You are not stuck in a loveless relationship because of kids and finances and feelings of guilt. You are free to get on with your life and find the right woman for you. Look at it as a get out of jail free card. If my fridgid wife left me for another man I would send the guy a fucking thank you card.
Whoa dood - easy there. This was not about any kind of "failure" The lady and I are best friends and will likely continue to be so. My post was about a sadness. An observation of a feeling and how that feeling changed. Fact is I AM at fault. I treated her like Nina's man treats Nina. In this case that was a mistake. A mistake that has been repeated in her life many times. I was arrogant enough to think I'd be different.
Well actually Mr new guy is a pretty decent fellow who has no idea of what's about to happen to him.
Like my old friend Drew Durkin used to say "no matter where you go - There you are"Yikes.......baggage is carried with one no matter where they go.....
Yeah, its stings like a MF when they walk out, I hope you are not the kind that will hold your guard higher when you meet the next one. Its just like that dog that gets abused by some stranger and treat everyone on the street as a threat. I know I am not wording it in a poetic way but you know how it is, you meet someone and say in your head " Is the person a user? Is she going to just leave one minute and just desert me like the previous one".
I only know one thing Money solves everything, win the powerball and get a paid mistress and be done with this sassy love thing. I dont believe in it, everyone wants to get paid, when you get beyond rich just get a younger mistress every year.
I only know one thing Money solves everything, win the powerball and get a paid mistress and be done with this sassy love thing. I dont believe in it, everyone wants to get paid, when you get beyond rich just get a younger mistress every year.
What I know is that you can't win if you don't play. Better to take the shot than sit on the bench. We are, IMHO spiritual beings having an earthly experience. Call it a game if you will. At the beginning of the game we're supplied with a variety of experiences and then left to deal with the results. How we do that determines our success in the game. Suffice it to say that I'm having a challenge to give unconditional love without being self destructive. No one promised me a rose garden.....
grins - friends is good - friends are the people who have the guts to tell you when you're drooling in public.Well on the bright side, you have made 5 new friends on perb maroonedsailor.
