I am in search of some advice from my fellow Perbites
- Thread starter hugedman
- Start date
Sounds like you're confused... even though you "agreed" with the quote above.
Digger33 very clearly outed JPR... and as you can see there, "regardless of who you are exposing her to"...
Oh please.....that crazy chick has more history of this kind of thing than any of us could have known....hell she did the same thing a year ago to another guy.....
What testimony? You are cracked......lol. I state facts as they were stated in her own words. I have not posted links etc.....
And I disagree that Digger out'd anyone. You have a twisted sense of right and wrong and that is fine. Seekasteadycouncilor ok.....
(1) Yes, you are! (without any question)
(2) As with the parallel case that has transpired here lately, "it's completely unrelated to Perb" (regardless of whether you're here telling the world about it, or whether JPR is here telling the world about it)
(3) There is only one common-sensical response, and that is to say nothing.
(There is simply nothing about what you could gain from telling {cheap entertainment, awkward interactions, etc.} that comes remotely close to what you could lose by so doing). At worst case, you say nothing and maybe he finds out one day, maybe he doesn't. He never has to learn that you knew.)
LOL you really need to stay off the sauce before you come to Perb: I never said anything about any links of any sort.
Your own words just condemned Digger33 as plain as day.
Unless, of course, you can derive the alternate "intent" of a guy who first gives an SP free reign to "call or text at any time for any reason", who then receives on his phone a photo of said SP in response to his own request for said photo, and who continues to leave said photo on his phone which is fully accessible to his own wife.
Quite clearly Digger33 steered his own wife right toward a working girl ("regardless of how its <sic> done or how easily the info is obtained")
Now perhaps Digger33's "intent", in your mind, was to use those messages, photos and details kept there on his phone to expose JPR to some other party... a parade of secretaries at his work perhaps... or his mother-in-law, but the "who" doesn't really matter.
I have to agree with the women on this thread especially Ingrid, Miss Bijou and Anna. I was with a girlfriend one time who was outed to me that she worked in a R&T. Seeing how I had seen SP's before I met her and worked with women in the bar business who used to SP on the side I never thought anything less of her. If I would have never found out it would not been a big deal unless she gave me something. Before we got sexually involved we talked about previous sexual pasts without names and numbers and since we had both been active we both went for testing and subsequent testing in the 2 and half years we were together. When I did find out she was honest enough to have mentioned that once she started in the R&T she stepped up the testing and kept the documentation for me to see.
Now as for the "friend" who outed her, this guy went into mine and my girlfriends' shitpile and we both dumped him in our circle of firends. My girlfriend also refused to see the friend of his when he showed up at the R&T. I think the term she used was "indiscretionary asshole".
The girlfriend and I split up in that she wanted children and it was not part of my life.
Now as for the "friend" who outed her, this guy went into mine and my girlfriends' shitpile and we both dumped him in our circle of firends. My girlfriend also refused to see the friend of his when he showed up at the R&T. I think the term she used was "indiscretionary asshole".
The girlfriend and I split up in that she wanted children and it was not part of my life.
Speaking of staying off the sauce.....wow.....quite the spin you put on that......
hugedman,
I have read every post in this thread from the beginning.
Someone once said we have two ears and two eyes but only one mouth so we are to observe and listen twice more than we speak. Not exactly a Nobel Prize worthy argument, but as street wisdom, it works. If you think about, there is very little good that can come out of telling your friend what you think you know. Any buddy points or brotherhood loyalty bonuses perceived to be gained by disclosure can quickly lead to a rift between you and him if his ego cannot handle the fact you knew his ex-gal worked as an SP.
Trying to protect your friend by telling him his EX worked as as SP is in fact judging all SPs. Given we pay to play, this is a contradiction is it not? Is this dilemma you are dealing with somehow mirroring a conflict you feel inside about your own activities? I don't know, I'm just raising the possibility here.
When I was younger and more religious, I always thought honesty and telling the truth about everything was always the best thing. Then I discovered no one tells the truth about everything - least of all to themselves. Governments lie about what they know. No surprise. So do politicians, lawyers, husbands and wives. I would even argue that to a certain extent, we all lie a little to ourselves to live our lives. Its the way the mind find peace.
"Water which is too pure, has no fish." Ts'ai Ken T'an
I have read every post in this thread from the beginning.
Someone once said we have two ears and two eyes but only one mouth so we are to observe and listen twice more than we speak. Not exactly a Nobel Prize worthy argument, but as street wisdom, it works. If you think about, there is very little good that can come out of telling your friend what you think you know. Any buddy points or brotherhood loyalty bonuses perceived to be gained by disclosure can quickly lead to a rift between you and him if his ego cannot handle the fact you knew his ex-gal worked as an SP.
Trying to protect your friend by telling him his EX worked as as SP is in fact judging all SPs. Given we pay to play, this is a contradiction is it not? Is this dilemma you are dealing with somehow mirroring a conflict you feel inside about your own activities? I don't know, I'm just raising the possibility here.
When I was younger and more religious, I always thought honesty and telling the truth about everything was always the best thing. Then I discovered no one tells the truth about everything - least of all to themselves. Governments lie about what they know. No surprise. So do politicians, lawyers, husbands and wives. I would even argue that to a certain extent, we all lie a little to ourselves to live our lives. Its the way the mind find peace.
"Water which is too pure, has no fish." Ts'ai Ken T'an
I feel sorry for the dilemma you find yourself in hugeman. It is not easy to possess that kind of information. You are the only one in this forum that has a full appreciation of what your friend is going through and you are probably the only one right now who could anticipate best what could possibly happen if you talk to your friend about this. I hope you take the action that will result in the least harm to your friend or his wife.
This is giving me a headache.., but look at the variety of views! This has opened up a lot double standards and divided loyalties. Good discussion.
My 2 cents. It is not about you, it is about your friend and her. If possible, I would speak to her (and not at work!) She should become aware that her activities are likely to become known. Give her the opportunity to address this with your friend.
If she has no thoughts of him or getting back together she will tell you. Suggest that she tell him. Give her the opportunity to sort it out. With luck when you see your friend again he will let you in on him and her. Keep quiet after that.
If your friend continues to pine, will not move on, and seems to not know, you must tell him.
If I where he I would find it difficult to accept years ago, but not now. This does not touch on the further subject of how would they arrange their live's together and whether she would continue in that line of work.
Do not, do not, avail yourself of her services.
My 2 cents. It is not about you, it is about your friend and her. If possible, I would speak to her (and not at work!) She should become aware that her activities are likely to become known. Give her the opportunity to address this with your friend.
If she has no thoughts of him or getting back together she will tell you. Suggest that she tell him. Give her the opportunity to sort it out. With luck when you see your friend again he will let you in on him and her. Keep quiet after that.
If your friend continues to pine, will not move on, and seems to not know, you must tell him.
If I where he I would find it difficult to accept years ago, but not now. This does not touch on the further subject of how would they arrange their live's together and whether she would continue in that line of work.
Do not, do not, avail yourself of her services.
I am not going to state an opinion either way on the subject but I did want to point out that no one yet has mentioned that by saying anything you may be putting your own life in danger. This girl might have a very big bouncer or friend who might kick the shit out of you if you say anything especially if it messes with her business.
Thank you for understanding my dilemma, I had taken many good advice from you all and very seriously considering having myself to forget about my friends ex.
GMT,
points well taken. Thanks.
h.
Dig what? (I'm not seeing a psychologist but even if I were).... was that supposed to be some kind of big insult?
I stated my opinion on his hypocrisy and his lack of integrity in being involved in the same situation he is condemning others for, a behaviour I do not have much respect for. Then.. Along with his further avoidance to recognize his own cowardly lack of character, somehow attempts to insinuate... (what?)
.... That this means I have issues requiring psychological assistance?... That's the big insult? Uh. ok. I'm soooo offended.
To me, all the comment really accomplished was to highlight how much of a tool he was. But I'm glad you dig it (although I already knew you were a tool so that part wasn't a surprise!)
Btw - (Among other things) Psychologists are known to be great at assisting people who find introspection and self reflection challenging on their own.. Sometimes when people are too busy focusing their attention on others, they forget to show the same kind of attention to their own actions which prevent them from acknowledging that they conflict with their beliefs.
It's not a bad thing for someone to be reminded to spend some time on his own issues instead of judging others. I'm sure he'd benefit from a little guidance in that area because I find it hard to believe that anyone really wants to be a fake.
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