I am in search of some advice from my fellow Perbites

[hugedman]

Wow, you sure dont give men much credit Miss Bijou. Who said she was tainted or a dirty whore? Not all men think like that. Maybe the man loves her and does want to get back with his wife, knowing would enable him to make a decision to either step up and win her back or realize that it is over. Either way it is not outing her, she is still his wife for god sakes!

That had came across my mind also. My friend says that he still loves her and is thinking that they will get back together eventually, as he is considering that they only separated, not divorsed.
Me thinking that, by telling him about what his wife is doing right now, will enable him to make a decision if the relationship is over, if he loves her and really wants to make it work, he will forget what she's done in the past regardless. I just think that he's entitled to know in order to make an informed decision.
I really appreciate these input, they really help.

 

[hugedman]

well it doesnt sound like the man is cheating in this scenario, and "She isn't dating or moving in with another man." is laughable coming from a woman!

No, to my best knowledge, he's not cheating in this case. However, I learned that she's actually working with another men in the RnT business, and advertised him as bi...?? whether it's true or not, I don't have any comments.

 

[Gomez Adams]

I really appreciate these input, they really help.

You are in a tough spot no doubt, no easy decision. Myself, I would talk to the friend and without coming right out and telling him I would instead impress upon him that he should talk to his wife. Miss Bijou IS right in that both parties should be honest with each other.

 

[rimas]

Does someone just suddenly decide to get into the RnT business without some prior involvement? I mean, if my wife and I suddenly separated I would hardly think she would (although her husband has partaken of the industry). So, was she in the business before they married? There is a lot missing from the story.

Plus, if your other friend knows and is advising you - how many other guys know? How long will it take before word gets back to him anyway?

My take is say nothing. If they get back together, and you are as close to him as you say, it will be very awkward. Or, you may have found an inexpensive regular RnT provider

 

[hugedman]

Does someone just suddenly decide to get into the RnT business without some prior involvement? I mean, if my wife and I suddenly separated I would hardly think she would (although her husband has partaken of the industry). So, was she in the business before they married? There is a lot missing from the story.

Plus, if your other friend knows and is advising you - how many other guys know? How long will it take before word gets back to him anyway?

My take is say nothing. If they get back together, and you are as close to him as you say, it will be very awkward. Or, you may have found an inexpensive regular RnT provider

She was not in this biz before they got married; I believe that my friend only knew that she's only doing massage, and did not and still does not know that she's doing the RnT with bj finale.

Only me and my other friend know about this; however, I don't know all his friends, and therefore, I don't know if his other friends also know...

 

[Papa Chongo]

I'm gonna get blasted for this one....

Tell him you're setting him up with a great R&T, to work off some of his stress, send him to her, and let the cards fall where they may....

Really though, it's really none of your business, I have a friend who's WIFE cheated in him, I know as I walked in on them, and I will never tell him, he may deserve to know, but his kids and extended family do not deserve that hurt, and to be quite honest he is very happy with her, it would destroy him! and probably her as well...

 

[FloridaGuy]

Of course you should tell him!! Holy shit you're friend's ex is working in a massage parlour!! And he wants to get back together with her. That is a huge deal and you need to tell him. He's your friend, not her. Even if they are apart and never getting back together, this is not a small development. You don't say if there are kids involved, or if he's paying alimony, or has some kind of legal restrictions on him due to the divorce. You may not know everything about it either. But something like this might mean a lot to the guy. Certainly, if he still pines for her or wants to reconcile, he should know what she's been up to. She may well lie to him about it - and yes you get to intervene. He's your friend, not some random guy at work.

There is a HUGE difference between a woman working in the sex trade and a guy (or a woman) having a one-night stand, picking someone up in a bar, dating etc. They've been apart for a year and its fine for them to be having sex with others. That's normal. But, sex in a professional capacity? Much different. Even different than him seeing an SP once or twice. She is WORKING in the sex trade. You know full well how society views that and you know full well this is a big deal. Disease, drugs, seedy pimps and MP owners, etc, not to mention the stigma and embarrassment. Its there, and its scary. And no its not the same to dip into that world for a couple hours a month, as it is to work in that world on a regular basis. The risks are greater.

The wonderful ladies in here are telling you to keep quiet about it. They either want to feel that their chosen profession is accepted by society and not a big deal, or they are seeing their biggest nightmare come to fruition (being outed, having a relationship ruined by their job). I wish it were normal and accepted, I really do. But its not, which is why we all use fake names and hide our faces, me included. Is your loyalty to a broader campaign to normalize the sex trade, or to your FRIEND? I would offer that informing your friend is more important. My perspective anyhow. Glad I'm not in your shoes.

 

[chuckanut]

what's her number? lol.

-chuck

 

[vancity_cowboy]

you have to ask yourself one important question first:

1) is she potentially good wife material, yes or no? if yes, then shut up and try to get them back together, if no, then don't tell him but make sure he finds out (know-what-i-mean?)

2) yeah... contact info please...

 

[Miss*Bijou]

Of course you should tell him!! Holy shit you're friend's ex is working in a massage parlour!! And he wants to get back together with her. That is a huge deal and you need to tell him. He's your friend, not her. Even if they are apart and never getting back together, this is not a small development. You don't say if there are kids involved, or if he's paying alimony, or has some kind of legal restrictions on him due to the divorce. You may not know everything about it either. But something like this might mean a lot to the guy. Certainly, if he still pines for her or wants to reconcile, he should know what she's been up to. She may well lie to him about it - and yes you get to intervene. He's your friend, not some random guy at work.

There is a HUGE difference between a woman working in the sex trade and a guy (or a woman) having a one-night stand, picking someone up in a bar, dating etc. They've been apart for a year and its fine for them to be having sex with others. That's normal. But, sex in a professional capacity? Much different. Even different than him seeing an SP once or twice. She is WORKING in the sex trade. You know full well how society views that and you know full well this is a big deal. Disease, drugs, seedy pimps and MP owners, etc, not to mention the stigma and embarrassment. Its there, and its scary. And no its not the same to dip into that world for a couple hours a month, as it is to work in that world on a regular basis. The risks are greater.

The wonderful ladies in here are telling you to keep quiet about it. They either want to feel that their chosen profession is accepted by society and not a big deal, or they are seeing their biggest nightmare come to fruition (being outed, having a relationship ruined by their job). I wish it were normal and accepted, I really do. But its not, which is why we all use fake names and hide our faces, me included. Is your loyalty to a broader campaign to normalize the sex trade, or to your FRIEND? I would offer that informing your friend is more important. My perspective anyhow. Glad I'm not in your shoes.

Argh. I had typed a nice long-ish reply to your non-sense, but it just got wiped out. So I'm afraid you'll get a short version that is not as eloquent as the original version. Oh well.


Bottom line: 1- You need to chill out and ease up on the dramatic over-exaggerating. 2- Just because you apparently are a herd following fake with a sore lack of integrity, you should not assume that is everyone's life ambition to please the masses and fall neatly within the norm, rubbing elbows with the mediocre and unimaginative. Not everyone does.


I could not care any less what people consider normal or not, and I certainly do my very best not to let it affect any decision I make. So please don't assume you have the faintest clue why I say something or what I'm worried about because you could not possibly even imagine how little in common it has with what you concern yourself with. I'd like to think I have a little more integrity and that my decisions and actions are aligned with my beliefs, or at the very least - that I've tried. Of course, it goes without saying that it's usually much easier to keep track of your beliefs when they are yours in the first place.


Sir, I do not feel there is anything honorable about your position at this time. I am hoping this might change but I'm not extremely optimistic about the possibility. I do not follow your herd and I do not seek its approval. Oh well, not as good as my original reply but it will have to do. The UNapologetic hypocrisy of your comments is truly baffling.


And that's all I wanted to say.

 

[FloridaGuy]

Miss Bijou, I expect my apparent insanity will give you lots to talk about at your next psychologist's appointment. All the best.

 

[Lancaster]

You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't. My suggestion, do nothing... and if he ever finds out, you deny any knowledge and you be like, "OMG!!! No way!!!!"

If you don't get involved:
A. They get back together, and ignorance is bliss
B. They get back together, he freaks and it's 100% over
C. They get back together, he gets the truth and they work things out
D. They don't get back together

If you do get involved:
Same as above, except A.

If you tell him, you're risking your friendship on the line for almost no return. While Aesops will say, "Honesty is the best policy", for this case, you tell him to STFU!
lol

 

[nd1]

Karma Sucks!

As a friend, should I tell my friend this? (he keeps hoping that they will get back one day)

If I were you, as someone who is in this "hobby" of ours -- btw, how did you come to know that she is now in the business? -- I would not tell. What comes around goes around: you out an SP today, someday somehow some SP is going to out you in return.

Since I expect the ladies to be professional and discreet about me, the least that I can do for them is to be discreet about them too. "Honesty is the best policy"?? LMAO!!

Oh, just so you know: If I was your friend, your juicy piece of information may or may not end the marriage, but it definitely would end our friendship either way. You know too damn much, and I don't like that in a friend. So, you might want to think about that too.

 

[hang5507]

Wow!!

Tough call!

Myself, I would leave it alone. It's their business no matter how close you are to your friend. It is damaging information and will result in someone getting hurt.

Good Luck

Regards

H

 

[trackstar]

miss bijou, i expect my apparent insanity will give you lots to talk about at your next psychologist's appointment. All the best.

Hahahaha!!!

 

[thrillseeker1]

This world would be much less complicated if people would just mind their own buisness..

 

[Pillowtalk]

The main thing is you are suggesting "outing" an sp, regardless of who you are exposing her to

To me, if you did it and posted here that you did, you should be banned.

 

[athaire]

The main thing is you are suggesting "outing" an sp, regardless of who you are exposing her to

To me, if you did it and posted here that you did, you should be banned.

Agreed....discretion is a two way street, we can't give the likes of JPR and various other providers shit about it and not hold the pooners to the same standard. Ignoring the fact that you should stay out of your buddies relationship you would be wayyyyy over the line out'ing a provider regardless of your relationship with your friend.

 

[Cock Throppled]

DON"T GET INVOLVED. First question from the friend/husband- did you get a hj from my wife?
Second question - were you hitting on her when we were still together?
Third question - what the fuck kind of friend are you?

 

[Gomez Adams]

The main thing is you are suggesting "outing" an sp, regardless of who you are exposing her to

To me, if you did it and posted here that you did, you should be banned.

well when you put it that way!

it really is a conundrum, its ok to say hey, I met this nice SP who gives great value for money, you should see her but not ok to say I met someone you know who is an SP, you might want to talk to her.

maybe he should just tell his friend about perb and suggest using the search feature on the subject advice, I bet this thread would be the first on the list.