I am in search of some advice from my fellow Perbites

[hugedman]

A friend of mine, whom I knew for approximately 5 years, recently had been separated with his wife (around one year). She is now turn into a RnT (with a bj finale) provider and I don't believe that my friend knows about this.

My question for you is : As a friend, should I tell my friend this? (he keeps hoping that they will get back one day)

Thanks for the advice (in advance)

 

[Silver Surfer]

My advice is no, don't tell him but encourage him to let go and move on with his life.

 

[klamkracker]

My advice is no, don't tell him but encourage him to let go and move on with his life.

I'm with this man.

 

[badbadboy]

If you want to keep him as a friend, keep it to yourself. This will no doubt bring ill will towards you in the end if you think you are doing the right thing by telling him.

 

[athaire]

Leave it alone.....no good comes from meddling in someone else's relationship woes....

 

[visiting]

Someone's gonna ask how you found this information?

 

[hugedman]

Thanks, guys, for the advice...I was torn whether I should let him know or not...but now I know what to do...

 

[Gomez Adams]

My question for you is : As a friend, should I tell my friend this? (he keeps hoping that they will get back one day)

Ask yourself, would I want to know?

Personally, I would want to know and would appreciate you telling me, better coming from a friend than some other guy.

 

[trackstar]

I would tell him. It would be devastating at first, but first of all, he can finally move on, knowing that they are through; second, what if she decided to take him back and didn't tell him what she did while they were apart? That would open up a whole new can of worms that could REALLY fuck him up.

 

[hugedman]

I would tell him. It would be devastating at first, but first of all, he can finally move on, knowing that they are through; second, what if she decided to take him back and didn't tell him what she did while they were apart? That would open up a whole new can of worms that could REALLY fuck him up.

that's exactly what's conflicting me inside...

 

[mr_international]

A friend of mine, whom I knew for approximately 5 years, recently had been separated with his wife (around one year). She is now turn into a RnT (with a bj finale) provider and I don't believe that my friend knows about this.

My question for you is : As a friend, should I tell my friend this? (he keeps hoping that they will get back one day)

Thanks for the advice (in advance)

Be like Snooky, send him an anonymous note..

 

[hugedman]

Be like Snooky, send him an anonymous note..

another friend of mine, who happens to know him also, suggested the same thing...I am going to review all the advice from you all and weight in the CONS and PROS on whether or not to tell him.

I really appreciate your input.

 

[Miss*Bijou]

second, what if she decided to take him back and didn't tell him what she did while they were apart? That would open up a whole new can of worms that could REALLY fuck him up.

that's exactly what's conflicting me inside...

I really hate to open up a whole different can of worms here.. but I will anyways.
So you've just remembered we're here too. (We, as in the girls) Good because I'm finding this part a little puzzling. So in your opinion, *if* they ever got back together, she *should* tell him?
Would the same be expected of him? Should he tell her if he paid for it or brought home some drunk girl from the bar? Would it be just as bad if he didn't tell her?


I think you'd be outing her and I think that's shitty as hell. I understand your dilemma and I understand you are thinking of your friend first but considering they have been separated for a year, there is no indication they are about to get back together or already back together, I disagree with you saying anything. I don't think she's doing anything wrong - they are separated.


If they did get back together and she stopped working but chose not to tell him she had in the past, that is her business! Unless you would expect both people to confess everything they might have done while separated (for over a year!), then maybe that would be a little different.


So..are you all basically insinuating she's now "tainted" and he needs to be warned about her evil ways? This would be different if they were actually still together and she was lying but they're separated - You'll have to excuse me here but you guys need to take a good look in the mirror. Are you going to tell your future gf/wife what you've been up to before you met her or while you were separated? Yah.. I didn't think so. What's good for the goose...eh.


You didn't even have to call her a dirty whore yet still made it clear that's what you were thinking. Awesome. Really. BIG disappointed thumbs down from me. Just curious. What if she decided to tell your future gf/wife what you did when you were separated? That would be cool?



And finally... do you people not remember the tv show Friends? "We were on a break..." ?? LOL

 

[SeekSteadyRegSP]

that's exactly what's conflicting me inside...

Uh, there is no conflict in the situation you present.


The bottom line is this:

You can always tell him, but you could never UN-tell him

 

[Gomez Adams]

I think you'd be outing her and I think that's shitty as hell. I understand your dilemma and I understand you are thinking of your friend first but considering they have been separated for a year, there is no indication they are about to get back together or already back together, I disagree with you saying anything. I don't think she's doing anything wrong - they are separated.


So..are you all basically insinuating she's now "tainted" and he needs to be warned about her evil ways? This would be different if they were actually still together and she was lying but they're separated - You'll have to excuse me here but you guys need to take a good look in the mirror. Are you going to tell your future gf/wife what you've been up to before you met her or while you were separated? Yah.. I didn't think so. What's good for the goose...eh.


You didn't even have to call her a dirty whore yet still made it clear that's what you were thinking. Awesome. Really. BIG disappointed thumbs down from me. Just curious. What if she decided to tell your future gf/wife what you did when you were separated? That would be cool?

Wow, you sure dont give men much credit Miss Bijou. Who said she was tainted or a dirty whore? Not all men think like that. Maybe the man loves her and does want to get back with his wife, knowing would enable him to make a decision to either step up and win her back or realize that it is over. Either way it is not outing her, she is still his wife for god sakes!

 

[Miss*Bijou]

And if you you don't remember..

LOL

 

[Gomez Adams]

Yah.. I didn't think so. What's good for the goose...eh.

And finally... do you people not remember the tv show Friends? "We were on a break..." ?? LOL

very funny Miss Bijou, whats good for the goose eh ....if you remember, Rachel was not ok with Ross sleeping around while on a break. So are you saying it is ok, or that because men do it women are allowed too? Two wrongs dont make a right.

no offense but now you have encouraged the thought of a dirty whore.

 

[Miss*Bijou]

Wow, you sure dont give men much credit Miss Bijou. Who said she was tainted or a dirty whore? Not all men think like that. Maybe the man loves her and does want to get back with his wife, knowing would enable him to make a decision to either step up and win her back or realize that it is over. Either way it is not outing her, she is still his wife for god sakes!

But how would her current work change anything one way or the other? How would that confirm anything or make him realize it's over? We have no way of knowing what she wants or is planning to do. She isn't dating or moving in with another man. If he needs to move on, he needs to move on because nothing is being resolved, not because of the work she's doing. Unless, as mentioned - unless he offers 100% full disclosure about his life while they are separated and they both commit to that...then she'd be at fault for not being honest. But I doubt that's the case. (And 1 year + is a hell of a longer separation than a break. lol) It's either got to work both ways or no way at all!


And it's not that I don't give men enough credit, I just think the whole double standards is real old and I get tired of hearing it. That's all..

 

[Miss*Bijou]

very funny Miss Bijou, whats good for the goose eh ....if you remember, Rachel was not ok with Ross sleeping around while on a break. So are you saying it is ok, or that because men do it women are allowed too? Two wrongs dont make a right.

It's either got to work both ways or no way at all!

That's all I'm saying.

 

[Gomez Adams]

It's either got to work both ways or no way at all!

That's all I'm saying.

well it doesnt sound like the man is cheating in this scenario, and "She isn't dating or moving in with another man." is laughable coming from a woman!