Dung Beetle
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America ,
Kentuckians, Tennesseans, Virginians, and West Virginians
will no longer be referred to as'HILLBILLIES.'
You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .
and furthermore
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
' BREASTED AMERICAN.'
2. She is not ' EASY ' - She is
'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'
3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'
4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'
5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'
6. She is not a 'TWO- BIT HOOKER' - She is a
' LOW COST PROVIDER.'
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a ' BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'
2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is
' OVERLY CAUCASIAN .'
3. He does not ' GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'
4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'
5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'
6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's
'REAR CLEAVAGE.'
A little old man shuffled slowly into the 'Orange Dipper,' an ice cream parlor in Naples, and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied, "hemorrhoids."
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America ,
Kentuckians, Tennesseans, Virginians, and West Virginians
will no longer be referred to as'HILLBILLIES.'
You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .
and furthermore
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
' BREASTED AMERICAN.'
2. She is not ' EASY ' - She is
'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'
3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'
4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'
5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'
6. She is not a 'TWO- BIT HOOKER' - She is a
' LOW COST PROVIDER.'
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a ' BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'
2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is
' OVERLY CAUCASIAN .'
3. He does not ' GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'
4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'
5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'
6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's
'REAR CLEAVAGE.'
A little old man shuffled slowly into the 'Orange Dipper,' an ice cream parlor in Naples, and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied, "hemorrhoids."
