How to cope with getting older: challenges we face, advantages we enjoy

[tantalizeme]

All end eventually, leaving the emptiness of a ragged self
To beg and plead for affection that can never come

Now I am an invisible old man

Alone

Healing the wounds of the soul

The paid and the unpaid

(Written while in a melancholy mood...)

https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?194337-The-paid-and-the-unpaid-a-poem


Went to blow off steam in my favorite dance hall...and met a prettyish lady, 30-something.

After a few dances, walking her back to her seat, I jokingly express regret about our age gap.

"Age sneaks up on those of us who`re lucky not to have died young," I say. "Otherwise I might have asked you out."

We chat a bit and guess each other`s age. She guesses too low, no doubt to flatter me.

When I tell her my age, she says, "Oh, that`s not old. Sixty is the new forty!"

A nice thing to say. Cheers me right up. But part of me wonders: was her comment serious—or just polite chatter?
---

Advancing age, and problems that come with it, can easily bring out a person`s darker side. I`ve noticed, older people often lapse into a chronic state of grumpiness.

Of course, we`d all like to stay young. But nursing self-pitying melancholy is probably the worst attitude to take toward aging.

Having come this far on my journey, I`m not going to bemoan dropping levels of stamina, or the fact that young hotties now consider me out of their league. I`m saying to myself: there`s such a thing as aging with grace, fading cheerfully into the sunset—perhaps even "to rage, rage against the dying of that light."

Anyone else here wrestling with questions about how to make the most of life`s fourth quarter?

 

[1nitestan]

Sixty is indeed the new forty. People in general take better care of themselves these days. I'm in way better shape than my dad was when he was my age. I keep active and have friends from a wide range of ages so discussions range from geo-politics to Southpark to Grumpy Cat.

"You're only as old as the girl you're dating" LOL.

I'm actually looking forward to the day I can be grumpy with class and style.

 

[badbadboy]

If ever an SP asks 'that age question', I just say I am a kid at heart :nod:

Having a healthy libido, positive outlook, mindfulness, healthy diet, regular exercise and good sleeping patterns have helped me get back on track.

It's always nice when I hear the words, "great to see you again BBB". It does put me in a really great mood

 

[tantalizeme]

On aging & pooning

Yes, I wrestle with these issues.

As one of oldest advertisers here on perb, every year it's more intimidating to advertise alongside the ladies with perfect bodies who are half my age.

One of the lines in my next new ad is, "I'm determined to grow old gracefully without plastic surgery ...".

I'm intending to prove that '60 can be the new 40' with SP's as well!

Kudos to you, Ms. Sarah. I admire any mature SP in her late 40s or 50s (even 60s) who courageously carves out a niche for herself in the world of erotic services.

Also appreciate the comments by brother 1nitestan(d) & badbadboy on the topic of this thread.
---

I want to float a few more ponderings on sex & aging, from a male perspective.

Older women typically hit men with a triple whammy.

•First, their interest in sex tends to diminish greatly after menopause. Few stay erotically adventurous, like being willing to have sex outdoors, come along to swinger clubs, or show enthusiasm for bedroom kink.

•Second, it's my honest opinion that most women over 50 do a poor job keeping themselves erotically interesting. In terms of facial makeup or body shape or general sexiness, it's almost as if they want to signal to a man: stay away!

•Yet, at the same time, I find most older women quite selective, demanding and possessive. They want men to jump through all sorts of hoops before offering sex. Most seem to expect monogamous commitment. And they find all sorts of nasty ways to enforce their expectations.

These whammies come along just when older men's sexual responsiveness is on the downswing and craves strong stimulation. My impression is, most older women (50+) would rather stay alone than compromise in an effort to cater to older men's erotic desires.

There's no denying: with advancing age, the gulf between male and female life priorities tends to widen, at least with respect to sex. So what's a sex-loving man to do in that quarter century between, say, 55 to 80?

Put pressure on an older female partner to act sexier than she feels? I've tried but found this to be counterproductive.

Date younger women? Realistically, women 15 or more years younger aren't likely to be romantically interested, unless there's an appreciable transfer of resources. And they're at a different life stage, which generally means incompatible interests—like interest in starting a family.

Visit SPs and engage in sex travel? That strikes me as by far the most feasible course of action, except in the case of men who're financially strapped. For most older men, I think erotic satisfaction would be difficult or impossible to achieve without the help of SPs.

That's why laws against sex work not only violate the freedom of consenting adults, but also discriminate unfairly on the basis of age. They make access to erotic pleasure difficult for the demographic of older men who often desperately desire such pleasure, but cannot find it anywhere else than with SPs.

 

[OldMagpye]

I'm done pretty much wore rite out. But still like to give it a go every once n awhile. Only bother with ladies that allow pics n vids. There are so many girls me can't picture any more and I know they were good times at various massage parlours but thought me remembers da places forgot da faces. And the bods r becoming vague memories. So if a visit to a sp goes soft me has some vids to take matters in hand later.

 

[CLUB78]

Several of the girls I know, and work with, were dating married older guys anyways. Why not just become an SP? I suggested, and here we are.

I'd say most of the men I've dated were 8+ years older than me. I have a friend who always dates guys several years younger. She has
look like a kid all the time and is always the "older" girl in the room. I wouldn't like that. I like feeling young and I like a man I can have a conversation with.

Plus, older men are better in bed, on average. Especially married/divorced ones, because they have had to try to keep a sex life alive for however long a marriage survives.

 

[MissingOne]

https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?194337-The-paid-and-the-unpaid-a-poem
When I tell her my age, she says, "Oh, that`s not old. Sixty is the new forty!"

You, Tantalizeme, are sixty?! Holy crap!

I didn`t read the blow-by-blows on your Philippine thread, just the musings and thoughts in between, but to have that sort of stamina at sixty is amazing.

 

[MissingOne]

As one of oldest advertisers here on perb, every year it's more intimidating to advertise alongside the ladies with perfect bodies who are half my age.

You hold your own with style and grace. Please don't succumb to any sense of intimidation. I'm always pleased to see your ads, even if geography dictates that I'm unlikely to actually meet you.

 

[badbadboy]

You, Tantalizeme, are sixty?! Holy crap!

I didn't read the blow-by-blows on your Philippine thread, just the musings and thoughts in between, but to have that sort of stamina at sixty is amazing.

Age is only in the mind MissingOne :nod:

Tant is a lover, a pleasure seeker and doesn't see age as a speed bump on his way to Nirvana (Definition not the Kurt Cobain type - is an ancient Sanskrit term used in Indian religions to describe the profound peace of mind that is acquired with moksha (liberation). )

 

[johnsmit]

Concidering i only started. having sex when i was 50 I am a little disapointed.. that o
am runing out of steem .. allthough i had all ready noticed that at 50.. thats why i gone on with it.

For me the last 10 yrs have been the best time
I will be 60 in june.. I dont think of my self as old.. and experienced.. . but i have some to ofer the youngee
generation..

physically.i am feeling it.. and i am not able to do what my mind would like..
Emotionally i am better then ever...and fairly accepting that on the last lap
But i still could go for 30 more years. both parents past at 90.

As for the sex.. well i dont get much.. partly because.. i am not seeing escorts anymore.
I got a few girls that are friends.. all ex escorts.. that i saw.. and have know now for. 5 to 8 yrs
and i find them all very attractive . each in a different way.. and each one I would rather hVe some kind of relationdhip. sexual.. or not .. then go and try to see a new escort.....

I dont find it that easy to ho looking for a new escort to see. especialy . when i have
girls that i enjoy..

As for age these day.. find many of the guys i know that are 60 and over.. acctually are in better
shape mentally and physically.. atleast they are still active. and dont look their age

 

[Sonny]

Poll: Is Aging Hard On You?

Nope. At least not as yet.
Helps to not grasp after what you cannot have anymore.
Keep the body as reasonably fit as you can, stay young mentally and at heart.
Enjoy whatever and whomever you can; don't dwell on the rest.

P.S. Bravo for SPs. You add a lot of real pleasure to a man's day.

 

[Guardian Angel]

Kudos to you, Ms. Sarah. I admire any mature SP in her late 40s or 50s (even 60s) who courageously carves out a niche for herself in the world of erotic services.

Also appreciate the comments by brother 1nitestan(d) & badbadboy on the topic of this thread.
---

I want to float a few more ponderings on sex & aging, from a male perspective.

Older women typically hit men with a triple whammy.

•First, their interest in sex tends to diminish greatly after menopause. Few stay erotically adventurous, like being willing to have sex outdoors, come along to swinger clubs, or show enthusiasm for bedroom kink.

•Second, it's my honest opinion that most women over 50 do a poor job keeping themselves erotically interesting. In terms of facial makeup or body shape or general sexiness, it's almost as if they want to signal to a man: stay away!

•Yet, at the same time, I find most older women quite selective, demanding and possessive. They want men to jump through all sorts of hoops before offering sex. Most seem to expect monogamous commitment. And they find all sorts of nasty ways to enforce their expectations.

These whammies come along just when older men's sexual responsiveness is on the downswing and craves strong stimulation. My impression is, most older women (50+) would rather stay alone than compromise in an effort to cater to older men's erotic desires.

There's no denying: with advancing age, the gulf between male and female life priorities tends to widen, at least with respect to sex. So what's a sex-loving man to do in that quarter century between, say, 55 to 80?

Put pressure on an older female partner to act sexier than she feels? I've tried but found this to be counterproductive.

Date younger women? Realistically, women 15 or more years younger aren't likely to be romantically interested, unless there's an appreciable transfer of resources. And they're at a different life stage, which generally means incompatible interests—like interest in starting a family.

Visit SPs and engage in sex travel? That strikes me as by far the most feasible course of action, except in the case of men who're financially strapped. For most older men, I think erotic satisfaction would be difficult or impossible to achieve without the help of SPs.

That's why laws against sex work not only violate the freedom of consenting adults, but also discriminate unfairly on the basis of age. They make access to erotic pleasure difficult for the demographic of older men who often desperately desire such pleasure, but cannot find it anywhere else than with SPs.

I don't mean to be degrading to the ladies in any way but I tend to agree with a lot of your comments. I work in the public retail sector and I am saddened by the number of women my age (60 - the new 40, lol) who don't seem to have the initiative to sex themselves up when going out in the public.

Do their Hair, a bit of make up, some decent looking and fitting clothes. Flaunt what you have a bit ladies. Maybe they are happy with their lives and their men at home are totally satisfied. I am guessing they are fooling themselves based on the number of older pooners around that are married.

I continually look for ladies my age that catch my eye, because I would love to meet one that has the sexual drive, adventure and looks that say, "you have just stared at the hottest 60 year old around". It's very much attitude and if you have it others will notice it.

Until then, my age has been commented on by many young SP's as not a problem especially when it comes to my ability to engage in some heavy duty sexy fun.

G.A.

 

[VanessaofBC]

 

[marsvolta]

i can't wait to be a dirty old man... hehehe... cough/wheez

 

[Tail Chaser]

That just cracked me up VanessaofBC...... I was having a Great morning and that was just the icing on the cake for this almost 60 year old dude..... things to look forward to I guess ...... Thanks for posting that...... :clap2:

 

[tantalizeme]

Interesting responses

Poll: Is Aging Hard On You?

Nope. At least not as yet.
Helps to not grasp after what you cannot have anymore.
Keep the body as reasonably fit as you can, stay young mentally and at heart.
Enjoy whatever and whomever you can; don't dwell on the rest.

P.S. Bravo for SPs. You add a lot of real pleasure to a man's day.

I'm especially inspired by brothers like Sonny or oceanic who—judging from their posts—evidence far more joy of life than most people ever have!

And rarely does anything make me laugh as hard as seeing Vanessa's cartoon! Actually, it's a cartoon that highlights a dilemma of older women who try to stay sexy for their partner: such efforts easily misfire.

Aging tends to ravage one's looks, but the impact is probably more severe for women. There's evidence that women are a lot more willing than men to judge a prospective partner by qualities other than looks. Makes sense, from the evolutionary perspective of maximizing surviving offspring.

Young women have one main advantage over young men: lots more sexual power. But older men definitely enjoy certain advantages over older women.

•First, women of all ages are a lot more forgiving of physical imperfections, and that includes the ravages of age that men's looks suffer.

•Second, older men who're financially stable—and relationship-minded—can attract women 5-15 years their junior, while the reverse rarely happens.

•Best of all, older men who find that young women's romantic interest has dried up can start pooning—and select from a fairly large pool of hotties who're erotically available for a price. It's certainly convincing proof of older women's emphatically lesser libido that no sex industry of any size has evolved to service them.

 

[cherise]

•Best of all, older men who find that young women's romantic interest has dried up can start pooning—and select from a fairly large pool of hotties who're erotically available for a price. It's certainly convincing proof of older women's emphatically lesser libido that no sex industry of any size has evolved to service them.

I'm not so sure about that tant.....i think it has more to do with the fact that pretty much ANY woman , at ANY time ,can get laid for free

 

[tantalizeme]

Five things that older men might want to watch

If ever an SP asks 'that age question', I just say I am a kid at heart :nod:

Having a healthy libido, positive outlook, mindfulness, healthy diet, regular exercise and good sleeping patterns have helped me get back on track.

It's always nice when I hear the words, "great to see you again BBB". It does put me in a really great mood

Personally, much like badbadboy, Sonny or oceanic, I'm finding the onset of life's 4th quarter to be a surprisingly comfortable life stage. To keep it that way, I think 5 main things are especially important to watch: mood; health; finances; looks; and love life.

Managing my mood: Age-related hormone changes can easily zap a guy's energy level and bring on depression. Few people are more off-putting than a superannuated grump.

If we suffer from depression, there're steps we can take to snap out of it. More exercise, a healthier diet and better sleeping habits—as suggested by badbadboy—are certainly crucial. Lots of dancing, frequent massages (both with and without happy endings) and of course pooning are real mood boosters for me.

I also found hormone replacement therapy (injecting testosterone) far more beneficial than anti-depressants such as Wellbutrin—though these work too, for most guys. And I've learnt to dissociate myself from acquaintances who're negative about life.

Taking care of my health: Amazing how modern medicine can either fix most health issues or at least keep them under control. Regular medical checkups, dental cleanings and nutritional supplements are highly advisable for older guys.

I try not to make aging worse through boozing, smoking, drug abuse or putting on excess weight. And we're damn lucky that erectile difficulties can now largely be dealt with by meds, so advancing age doesn't have to take the same toll on our sex lives as it did just a generation ago.

Keeping my finances in good shape: There's no substitute for a reliable income and, ideally, enough savings to have peace of mind.

Of course, a hobby like pooning easily burns a hole in one's pocket—so I find find it important not to rely for my entire sex life on SPs. Increasingly I've also become aware of golden opportunities to stay sexually vibrant by spending extended vacations in overseas countries where sex with incredibly lovely ladies is available at nominal cost.

Holding on to my looks as best I can: As men we're lucky: most women accept aging male flesh much more readily than most men accept aging female flesh. Still, adequate grooming, decent clothing and cleanliness are major assets for an older man. Nothing wrong with colouring one's hair either, or getting regular facials at spas (or at least use those cheap face masks you can put on yourself).

Also, male potbellies don't seem to be too popular among women. And while women might find displays of pride attractive in younger men, I think for older men it's best to have a ready smile in most social situations.

Having an active love life: Like most guys, I want an intimate connection, but I also want erotic excitement. There's inbuilt conflict here. Some men give up on intimacy with one special person, and others give up on the excitement of sexual variety. Still others play around behind their partner's back. Whatever works for someone—I'd not judge them.

My preferred solution has been to negotiate an open relationship with an SO who wants "emotional mongamy" but allows me sexual variety with SPs. But such ladies are hard to find, and very few accept prolonged sex travel in Asia on the part of their man. So here is perhaps the most difficult choice many of us older men face—including myself:

What's better, staying in a sexually unsatisfactory relationship for the sake of affection and companionship...or sailing into the sunset unattached, without the strings of a relationship, free to poon to my heart's content?

 

[xraytext]

I'm not so sure about that tant.....i think it has more to do with the fact that pretty much ANY woman , at ANY time ,can get laid for free

Ain't that true:clap2:

 

[PlayfulAlex]

That just cracked me up VanessaofBC...... I was having a Great morning and that was just the icing on the cake for this almost 60 year old dude..... things to look forward to I guess ...... Thanks for posting that...... :clap2:

Oh my, yes she had me bursting into laughter with that one too!

Well, as many of you know, I am slowly working my way out of this adventure, and I'd be lying if I said it had nothing to do with age. It does. A little.

Having said that, I am constantly surprised, pleased, and humbled that I can be as worthy of calls and visitors as I am, at my age. I am extremely thankful for 'what God gave me' and have taken my health and appearance very seriously. Do I have any regrets? Perhaps that I hadn't started in this industry sooner.

In the meantime...