How Much Fantasy v Reality?

[IceG]

i was thinking about how much variance of opinion there was on this board about how much "fantasy" you want from your sps and how much reality you can take.

i will throw my cards up first. i like as much reality as possible. i don't want her to be moaning and thrashing around like a porn star wannabe UNLESS she actually is having that much fun. whatever fun she is having is what i want to see, get what i am saying. if she is a "quiet" woman in real life and she is "quiet" with me, then i am happy with that.

i prefer to just have her be relatively quiet if she is not into it, for whatever reason. i can respect that level of honesty.

i know everyone wants different things and that is why i do not post a lot of details because YMMV. i think as i have gotten more experience, i have noticed the "better" tell signs that she is enjoying herself: upper chest becomes flushed (hard to fake), you can feel how wet she is or isnt, muscle contractions in the calves that you are holding, fists clenched in pleasure, and of course, the spontaneous kiss.

i know many of you prefer the full "fantasy" of being "king", but i much prefer the reality of what would she really be like in bed. it is kind of why i prefer to eventually get to know their "real" names, etc. it makes them a little more natural in their actions.

i am sure there are as many opinions as there are keyboards.

 

[acc]

I think IceG and I are in total agreement. I obviously would like a girl to enjoy herself, but if she's not I don't want a show that is Oscar worthy. Although, if it is indeed a great performance, I probably wouldn't know either way now would I.

 

[jim]

Is it Real or Memorex?

I'm going to add my own twist(ed?) view on this one.

Firstly I agree whole heartedly with your assessment on the 'oohhh' and 'aaahhh' stuff. Give me a break, I was born at night but not last night, I can tell the difference between an obvious bad acting job fake and the real thing. Now before jumping on me, I said a bad acting job, perhaps I might get caught by a real good acting job ;-).

My view on 'fantasy' vs 'reality' is that I really don't want to hear about your problems especially on a first visit. If we develop into a 'steady gig' then we might start to share things like that, however never on a first visit.

That's my twisted view of reality, for me fantasy is a place where I can leave my problems behind and for 45 to 60 minutes travel to another world. On the other hand I truly enjoy a good conversation, therefore don't confuse my desire to escape from reality with someone who doesn't want to engage in intercourse (of the verbal variety). One of the reasons that Kitty has had so many visits from me is that we both enjoy our intercourse (verbal of course). Part of my Lilithification came about as a result of a stimulating and probing intercourse (again totally verbal) session that we enjoyed.

 

[BS Detector]

I always have one rule for the ladies, "No Faking". If I'm REAL bad...Well...OK...lie a little.

 

[BigDDD]

I go to studio to fulfill my fantasy. I visit the lady for a session not a date. I pay for fs not love making. If the lady put up a good performance and fake it well, its because she wants me to feel good and it is totally alright with me. But if I can really bring the lady to a big O, then it is a bonus to me. I truly believe most of the ladies are in it for the money, but of course there are a few that really enjoy their work as well. So fantasy vs reality... Go figure it out.

 

[IceG]

Real Person Experience RPE

i have to use my new term in this thread. Real Person Experience, RPE, is really what i am talking about. i actually am willing to learn about whatever the sp wants to share in discussion. i do not mean this in a make-believe GFE type conversation, i mean actually talking and listening to the person.

i mean, you both know you are going to go at it, so there is either a "make-believe" conversation of little significance or an actual conversation of whatever content you choose. i am not talking about GFE acting, i am talking about the real person.

i have read a few guys posts that they have no interest in the "real" life of the sp and her mundane day to day chores, but i actually listen to what gets said because there is always something revealed about a person, even in mundane descriptions. i realize that many of you take the position that you are not paying for her to talk about her car, kid, groceries, or whatever, but i find the real person behind the sp to be more interesting than the "first impression facade" that (conceded by me) is required for every new client.

i kind of see it as a reflection of trust in a non-sexual/romantic way. most guys fail to realize that women "bond" better with you if they know you have been listening to what they say. it is true that the conversations mean very little to you or her in a life changing or actual decision making process, but it is the most important aspect to a female (expressing feelings and being understood) in conversations. this is what usually leads to far better true expressions of how much she is enjoying/not enjoying herself in a session, imo.

i agree that sometimes some sps talk "too much" as a defence mechanism in a session and it can be distracting or diminish the erotic value of a session.

As with most things in life, there is a balance to strive for.

 

[wolverine]

"{{slurp slurp}} I love my new SUV
{{slurp slurp}} I can pack in my 3 kids, two dogs
{{slurp slurp...MMmmmm}}
and a week's worth of groceries {{slurp slurp}}"

There's a time and place for the conversation during a session.And just as with taxi drivers, most SPs know to be silent if that is what you wish.

 

[IceG]

touche

fair enough goesks. i mean there are so many different ways to know someone. i think that i am actually saying that if i visited a sp and (in reality) she did not really like me at all, i would rather just not be a repeat customer. if we get along then i go from there. i just would rather know the person/babe because it helps me NOT feel like it is a morally wrong thing then. kind of my conscience is eased if i know some of the "real" her. I can then see her so much more as a person than as a sex surrogate.

you have to be prepared for all of the "underground" elements of some sps, such as drugs, dysfunctional/abusive family relationships, petty criminal pasts, how they got to become a sp, some of it is not PG material and alot of guys totally don't give a sh*t about that stuff. i think each guy has to figure out what they like to know about a sp and go from there.

as to being real friends and still seeing her in a MP, i don't think that is really plausible either because i believe most sps have to compartmentalize their "work" so that they can keep a part of them just for themselves. if you go into the "real person" compartment, you definitely do not want to go back to the "client" compartment. it probably could be done, but i think you both have to communicate the proper boundaries of your "real" friendship and go from there.

 

[IceG]

double edged sword

it is a fine line that most sps have to walk in 4 inch stilettos...they have to entice clients and maintain "regulars" without the regulars becoming the "stalkers". it is a delicate balance of very personal and intimate GFE "acting" and yet at the end of the shift, they want to go home and forget about it all and be the real person that exists within.

the following theory DOES NOT APPLY TO YOU Go Esks because you have a great deal of respect with boundaries, but for some of the more primitive types: i speculate the sps who "are annoyed" somewhat by guys who make so many sessions in a short span are feeling somewhat "trapped" into having to develop a workable relationship with some guy who is partly infatuated or obsessive. these are the guys who "non-chalantly" schedule themselves as the last appointment of the evening and try to finesse themselves into the "real" world with the sp. or they use what i call the "never had a girlfriend logic" that if they keep seeing a sp, then the mileage has to be increased with each visit. they have no real sense of how to cultivate a bond of trust, they simply assume the sp is glad to see the idiot again. sp will gladly take his money, but some sps have a conscience and feel that there should be limits to how much you should "con" a sucker. some have no conscience about it, some do.

my extrapolation on the "friends" concept is that basically i would feel weird paying one of my "real" friends for sex. so, i think i better describe the set-up you are describing as being a "favorite client" type deal. i have no problems with being in this category for the sps that i enjoy fooling around with, but ones i would not really like to know outside of the mp in a more "real" way.

sps get alot of guys asking them out in mps. whether or not they feel it is safe or not for them is going to be based on how much trust they feel has developed with them. then you have to factor in some level of actual real attraction.

i mean we have seen many "stalker" posters on this board with unfounded negative reviews or misinformation. they are still out there in crazy land. nobody knows this more than the sps.

 

[IceG]

trust is 2 ways

4sure goesks, when i mean developing trust, i also will divulge my personal background and i have to take a "chance" that she is going to be fair with me. you cannot have a one-sided situation or there really is no trust and it is simply infatuation of some sort.

i have had a few ladies i have known outside of mps and it is something that gives you new perspectives, some positive, some negative, on the whole of this industry. i think that it did take a "leap of faith" to tell certain sps what i did, where i lived and have them mesh into my "real" world, but you find that if you choose sps with a solid character, then they turn out to be relatively "good" women in real life. i have no idea as to what kind of percentages we could generalize to, but i have to say that i was pleasantly surprised (ie. no drugs, not too much drinking stuff like that) with the way a few of them conducted themselves in the non mp world.

 

[Owudoin]

It all depends on the girl. Sometimes they will let their real name slip, or they will outright tell you...
Sometimes, they will ask if you want to get together outside of work, sometimes you will just run into them and go from there. It all depends on the girl and the relationship that you have at work. If they want to blur the lines, it's their call. I have know some outside of work, and they are great girls...the stories that they can tell about guys who go a little too far though...spooky.

 

[wolverine]

IceG, since I started going to MPs, the girls working there have been something of a revelation. Once you meet them, you really see how sometimes the media seems to have a need to dumb everything down into neat little packages and stereotypes.

Stereotypes such as SPs being all sexually victimized crack whores forced into the trade by abusive thug-boyfriends? We all know that's feminazi bullshit.

Many of the SPs I know are going to school, studying everything from medicine to engineering to paralegal. Some are ex-strippers and ex-models grasping a last chance to financially benefit from their own fine bodies. And some are just your everyday single moms-next-door.

 

[IceG]

its a long story

cman, it is a long story that i wrote about when i first started posting here back in the summer. i had a real relationship with a sp for awhile and i got into a long thread in the Vancouver lounge about it, so if you want some of the details, it is somewhere there for your reference.

the cole's notes version: i have been going to MP's for about 3 years off and on, depending on real world dating. i met the one i dated in a MP a couple years ago and we really got along well. i saw her 3-4 times and she just said to me, "i really wish i had met you a different way" because i like you, for real. i just said we can't choose the circumstances when you meet someone you like sometimes. i also just said i wished i had met her otherwise as i liked her as a person in addition to her obvious stunningly gorgeous face and body, but at least there were no secret lives to hide (ie. we were both single without kids or significant others and i knew what she was doing and she knew i had been going to mps for about 1 year or so). she gave me her real phone number and i never saw her in a MP again. thereafter, it did get complicated beyond measure, but i have no regrets, only some pretty sweet memories.

i agree with most of what goesks and owudoin are talking about: usually you have to let her take the initiative if you are going to go that route. most, if not all, sps that i got to know have their "horror" stories about stalker types and they know it is kind of an occupational hazard of having to be nice to some guys who maybe do not understand the boundaries they hope to establish. i have made other "mp friends" as sometimes they tell me where they hang out and suggest we should meet up with our clothes on. if i think it is someone i would like to know better, then i go from there.

then there are things that happen in sessions that can suggest nothing other than she really does like you in a real way. those are instances where you know you can just say that you should know each other for real. the kind of sessions that have real tenderness along with the sex. the ones where you cuddle for real.

no set rules, each 2 people are different. my real "crux" test is how much of my history can she recall when i re-visit after a hiatus. i am genuinely flattered when some sps can remember out last session and very specific conversation details that might have happened 3-6 months earlier. i take that as a real compliment in a RPE way because i can usually remember what she was telling me about as well. it also tends to confirm that you were both actually listening to each other. i think after dating a sp, i kind of grew to prefer the RPE over basic fantasies and GFE acting, but to each their own.

 

[IceG]

to my homey goesks

just want to add that i think you are right about the "inner"circle deal. i believe it is more a self-protection mechanism as the sps i know were pretty discrete about their "work" with their real friends and thus, they do not have to feel any societal scorn (right or wrong, it is still not something that many of us, even the "clients" do not broadcast to our friends, so the same applies for them as they do not want to be judged unfairly by the conservative types in society for what they do).

sps do not like to be criticized for what they do by anyone who does not know them. much the same as each of us has our own "story" as to how we started becoming clients and do not feel as if anyone should take a pot shot at us for doing it.

in fact, when i meet my sp's "real" friends or vice-versa, we usually decide on some kind of "cover" story as to how we met. i think that only on this board are we comfortable as guys talking about seeing women for money.

bottom line: it still has a negative connotation in the mainstream of people and the women who are in the industry are usually the ones who bear the brunt of moral criticism.

 

[IceG]

good 2 hear from you

super i am glad you joined the party. i have to disagree with Walrus, for me, i would way rather read one guy review 50 different women (as long as the guy has some credibility) than read 50 dudes write reviews for one babe. i mean that is pretty much what we have right now.

as to my story, well if you don't like it, don't read it. i am glad some newbies answered the bell because i don't mind sharing information, but emphasis on sharing not giving like a chump. plus, once you know what range a guy says pretty means in your scale then you can make the necessary adjustments. like i have read reviews of certain sps that i do not find attractive and i know that when the dude says she was hot, well, i beg to differ, but i defer that to his own taste.

i am glad that you embrace the RPE concept as i think everyone wants different things. hence, i never put in details. i mean if i said sp-so and so let me come on her pussy, then i would have so many guys going in there and asking for it. same for kissing, spooning, ball licking, and other details. i find that so much has to be "determined" by the two people in the session.

the irony is that you actually prefer hearing that a sp DID not do X when you know X is done for you. this is the true value of sharing information when you have extra items that a sp is not doing for every client. you then know you have established some level of trust beyond the "normal" service offered.

to the guys who do PM me for specific details about certain sps, do not bother as i kind of like to keep my "special" favourites in that way.

 

[Owudoin]

I agree with you there Ice...I would rather not say what my favorite girls do with me...cause I want all the goodies for myself. I'll still give a fair review and say that they are a definate must to see, or avoid, but I won't give all the details.

 

[IceG]

exactly

i give as many accurate "objective" details pertaining to appearance, attitude, demeanor, and overall personality features. i might throw in the odd comment about certain things from the session, but this is my interpretation/definition of discretion.

there is so much variance in this board, some guys want strictly fantasy, some want fantasy girlfriend, some want to know what the person is really like. that is why i always stayed clear of too much play by play details. not only does YMMV, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, Your Desired Mileage Varies with each client.