How important is kissing in a GFE (Girl Friend Experience)

[sonoman]

How important is kissing in a GFE and /or a PSE style experience to you?

Umm.... very.

 

[blackcad]

Kind of reminds me of that novel, "The day of the locust".Guy was in love with a hooker who lived in the same building and she just liked him as a friend, but he wanted her sexually.She wouldn't have anything to do with him sexually because she liked him as a friend.So he offered to pay her. No dice. She said that would ruin their friendship. Didn't end well.

You're well read muffineater. The sad thing is because I've met her as a client, in order to be her friend, I may have to always be a client. When she eventually leaves the business, she may choose to cut all ties to any clients. And thus any friendship may end. She's very careful, and keeps her professional and personal life separate. It's sad for me to have met her in this way, but those are the apples we've been dealt and I'll have to deal with them, hopefully making applesauce and not apple cider vineger. Her friendship is more important to me than any intimate act including kissing.

 

[storm rider]

Too much wordiness in this thread....too much talky talky.....too much of the darkside of seeking that "special connection" BS....does you GF kiss you?.....the rhetorical answer being yes....well if a gal who you pay for sex advertises as "GFE" refuses to kiss the she sure as hell is not "GFE".....I myself have not seen many caucasian SP's and the only truly remarkable/memorable/repeatable ones are Heidi the German Doll and Franceska the fiery redhead.....and those gals put the G in GFE....with regards to Asian gals at Sugarland my experiences have been for the most part off the hook crazy wicked passionate sex that was better than anything I got from my now ex wife...but with a few exceptions of course.....the most memorable was Mika....that gal had a tongue like an eel and she liked to kiss deeply....she also enjoyed DATY like no other woman I have fucked....nothing like having a gal pushing you back against the wall and squating on your face and riding your tongue whilst yelling out what she wanted....as in up/down & side to side.....that was my "Karate Kid" session of pooning for sure.


Straight up though....if the gal says GFE and refuses kissing.....well....she does not get a repeat out of me.

SR

 

[cloud_9]

i didn't read the whole thread so if this was said then sorry, maybe she has a BF now......

 

[badbadboy]

Of all the women, pro and non, I have been with in my life all reciprocated soft kisses, LFK, or DFK.

One girl I've seen on multiple occasions stopped allowing kissing with me after several dates. Prior to this, sessions with her were getting more and more intimate. However, one day, when I attempted to initiate lip contact, she immediately turned her head and/or turned around....and it has been like that for a long time now and many dates.

In fact, as I saw her more often, she seemed to discourage DATY, and lead the sessions to BJ and FS. To this day I don't understand why she did that. I really enjoyed initiating with foreplay, kisses and DATY. Did I have a bad breath day? Am I a terrible kisser? Did I make one of our kisses too wet? I wish she would have told me so that I could fix the problem. When asked after several sessions like this she said "No.......she's working on the kissing thing".

A couple months later I had an afternoon date with her and she allowed light kisses....and actually said she likes soft kisses like that. But things didn't continue to improve for me. Subsequent attempts to kiss her were subtly denied.....and I felt quite rejected.

This, of course, everytime, put quite the killer on my male ego and took me right out of the experience....here I am...a pretty good looking guy, fairly young, with almost perfect teeth, with impeccable breath, at least now, (I take multiple measures to ensure I have perfect breath including tongue scrubbing, expensive mouthwashes, tests on others.....ever since the kissing denial "thing" started) and a girl I'm paying, who undoubtedly allows other, probably less savoury men to kiss her, won't kiss me.

Suddenly I realize that my GFE with her is not a GFE, but a FE (Friend Experience) and I feel like she is only going through the motions. I continue on and go though the motions myself, the entire time wondering why won't this girl kiss me. Am I that unattractive? Why am I so attracted to someone who may be repulsed by me? I know that is not the case but it still bothers me and hampers my performance with her. There have been times where I have not been able to cum in a two hour session, or cum only once, and I know it is only because of my fragile ego and the lack of foreplay. I need intimacy, even though only a fantasy, to enjoy myself sexually.

I even stopped trying for kisses and DATY as the subtle rejections would only guarantee performance issues on my part.

I texted these concerns to her several times but always wonder if she received the texts (it's always easier to talk in a text.....it allows you to think about a response) as she'd often say she didn't get all my texts. Perhaps I wasn't clear enough about my expectations. I feel I can read her mind in some ways, but in others, she's a complete mystery to me.

We enjoyed many social outings, and they were always fun, but the looming question I'd always keep in my head was, when we go back to her place, will she allow me to be myself in the session, will she let me kiss her so I can take charge in the bedroom the way I have with other women in my life, or will she deny that kiss and turn me into a nerdy submissive. I was hoping our sex life would get better the more we saw one another, not worse.

If I wasn't paying her, I'd definitely be more dominant in the bedroom, and be more assertive in going for the kiss. Unfortunately, in this fantasy world I can't do that...she is providing a service and I must respect her limits, even if she advertises a GFE and did advertise DFK when I first saw her.

I for one, almost....no...to be honest, in fact prefer kissing to full service, if I had to pick only one. I'm not talking about ramming my tongue down her throat here.....I'm happy with gentle soft brushing of lips with a hint of intimate tongue contact, perhaps more depending on the consensual mood. If I have full service without it the whole thing really becomes mechanical. If the lady refuses kissing when I know she routinely provides it I really end up feeling like a chump. I don't want her as a masturbation aid, she's more than that to me. I want the whole fantasy of a GFE during the time I've paid for.

Perhaps this chump likes this woman too much, and she sensed that, and denied kisses to retain me as a client, but not get my feelings so involved. If that was her plan, then it has backfired as I desire the elusive kiss even more from her. Perhaps I was falling for her, but I've always been able to bottle up my feelings, and I reassured her of that. It's sad because when we're doing social things she knows the real me, I am myself, but she certainly doesn't know who I am in the bedroom, as I am not able to truly be myself once the bedroom door is closed.

Regardless, I'm still drawn to her intoxicating beauty and personality and need to see her again...and again. It's not what she does, but who she is that I am attracted to....so spare me any advice of never seeing her again. I don't think that's advice that I can abide by. I'd rather know her, kissing or not, than not know her.

I haven't seen her, or talked with her for a while, but I cannot deny that I miss her and our times together.

There's another beautiful woman I'm seeing who seems to love kissing me, at least if she's acting she's got me happily fooled, and it's making seeing her very hard to resist. I've had a session with her where I came 4 times, and I know our kisses had no small influence on me. I am not afraid to be myself, and be dominant in the bedroom with her. She helps me forget about the other girl, if only, albeit two hours at a time.

So that begs the question. Am I putting too much emphasis on a simple thing like a kiss? For me I know the answer. How important is kissing in a GFE and /or a PSE style experience to you?

I quoted the OP since the discussion had gone a bit sideways.

From what I can gather you have entered to the friend area and need to have a reset with your SP. Nothing wrong with being a friend with paid benefits, having a mistress type relationship or as a pay as you go type client/sp relationship IMHO. Been there and still navigating my way through it

Only thing I can really zero in on is having a bit of a heart to heart just to get a realistic lay of the land so to speak. If it is purely a pay as you go relationship; you may want to take a break for a number of months and revisit her to see if things have changed at all. Otherwise if it is more of a mistress relationship it is best to see what has changed and how you are either happy or unhappy with the current type of dates you have experienced.

Not an expert just offering a similar type of experience.

Hope it works out for you.

 

[blackcad]

I quoted the OP since the discussion had gone a bit sideways.

From what I can gather you have entered to the friend area and need to have a reset with your SP. Nothing wrong with being a friend with paid benefits, having a mistress type relationship or as a pay as you go type client/sp relationship IMHO. Been there and still navigating my way through it

Only thing I can really zero in on is having a bit of a heart to heart just to get a realistic lay of the land so to speak. If it is purely a pay as you go relationship; you may want to take a break for a number of months and revisit her to see if things have changed at all. Otherwise if it is more of a mistress relationship it is best to see what has changed and how you are either happy or unhappy with the current type of dates you have experienced.

Not an expert just offering a similar type of experience.

Hope it works out for you.

The last date we had was a bit of a reset.....I told her what I wanted, minus the kissing (I didn't want to touch that subject, and infringe on her comfort level) and she obliged. The session was definitely better, and I had a wonderful time. I now regret even starting this thread, as I haven't spoken to her since, and maybe this thread is the reason. I don't know if she checks these forums and I've freaked her out. If so.....my loss. I just hope I can continue to see her. There have been several unanswered texts that I've sent her. Maybe a break is a good thing as you suggest badbadboy, I hope it doesn't become indefinite. I always looked forward to seeing her.

I miss her.

 

[blackcad]

With the qualities I have I have found that some clients do get very close I have found that since seeing me that my regulars are not the same people that walked through my door 2 years ago. That we have both grown a relationship though still to this day a business we have a closeness a friendship too.

Thanks for the insights, cuteangie. You always have something unique to contribute.

I am definitely a different person for having known her. She has unknowingly shown me that I deserve better in my life, and not in my wildest dreams did I imagine that when I first called her I would meet a soul such as hers. I was looking for paid sex, what I found in her was much more.

With that comes the clients and there are a few that get attached and yes ok I get attached too. So I start to distance myself from them as this is a business. I do not want them to fall in love and I can see that in this business easily happening with clients falling for SP's.

I'd be a liar if I claimed that I have no emotional attachment to seeing her. Looking back at this thread the kissing thing is probably not the big issue with me. The issue is I see a uniqueness in her, that I haven't seen before, and I like the experience of her. eg...a lot of her quirks, I share....She loves rolling down the car windows in the winter...so do I , etc.

I do care about her, and have the utmost respect for who she is, and understand what she does.

Do you think she is distancing herself some because she is falling for you. As an SP well myself anyways I do not want to fall for my clients but as an SP we do provide alot to our clients it is only human to fall for someone who gives you all you have been looking for who does not judge you. So yes even though I have distant myself from some clients they still continue to see me.
I think this special ladies has fallen for you or the total oppisite she is trying to distance herself and slowly drive you away. But have no real answer as I ramble on here. But this is my opinion.
Does any of this help or make sense for you.

She is a consumate professional, and is very adept at separating her two identities. I don't want to infringe on her personal identity. I myself, obviously have a separate identity as well, my dates with her, that are completely isolated from my "personal" life. She knows my full name, what I do and more intimate facts about me than anyone else. I don't ask any detailed questions of her personal life. Anything I already know will never be revealed, to anyone for any reason.

Like I stated earlier in this thread, I know that I could easily fall for her if I allowed myself to, which I cannot under current circumstances. There were moments we shared months ago, where I know that I would have to be pretty emotionally firewalled and daft, to not admit that we have some personal/emotional chemistry.

She once promised me, at my request, that should she find that something happens to me, she will be in attendance at my funeral. She's been relevant enough in my life that I'd want her there. (Strange request for a client to make of his escort...huh?)

I've had enough success with women in my life to know that she may have a little bit of "like" for me so I'm not going to discount the possibility. Perhaps she is either afraid of getting too attached to a client, or of myself getting too attached to her.

Is it so bad that a client likes his escort and possibly vice versa? There is no rulebook that governs our emotions, and states that a relationship like this cannot be mutually beneficial( mistress, escort, paid lover). If there is, my only hope is that she chooses to live on the wild side...and ignores that rule, or makes an exception in my case, to prove it wrong. I'm a better man for having known her.

I miss her.

 

[professorx]

My first time with a service provider was with an outcall service called Roxy's in Whistler. This was over a year ago, before I discovered this message board.
The girl that I got was extremely mechanical and restrictive in the sense that basically she would only give me a bj and fs and I couldn't touch her breasts or kiss her.
As someone who was new to this, I once thought that all sessions were like that until i had my first gfe experience 2 months ago which rocked my world

 

[blackcad]

My first time with a service provider was with an outcall service called Roxy's in Whistler. This was over a year ago, before I discovered this message board.
The girl that I got was extremely mechanical and restrictive in the sense that basically she would only give me a bj and fs and I couldn't touch her breasts or kiss her.
As someone who was new to this, I once thought that all sessions were like that until i had my first gfe experience 2 months ago which rocked my world

Yes, Professorx....when it's just bj and fs, it can't really feel like anything but mechanical....makes you feel like a user of the girl rather than sharing pleasure.

Don't get me wrong, I have had multiple dates with this girl that were definitely GFE that rocked my world.......that's why it's hard not to want repeat performances every time.

The way I see it, if it is a GFE...then.... during the date, reality should be cast aside and within those hour or hours, she is a girlfriend, and that is the reality of the moment. You then get to break up at the end of the date....go back to your regular daily reality.....and then get back together as BF/GF for the next date. It's like living in two worlds, with two realities.

Not bad when you only have one life to lead.

 

[FloridaGuy]

Mandatory. No kissing = not a GFE.