How far should a parent's approval of a daughter's choice of escort work go?

[tantalizeme]

Every year, millions of women around the world choose to offer erotic services—and each woman faces the issue of whether to break the news to her parents, and if so, how.

It`s not an easy thing to hide one`s occupation, and main source of income, from curious and even halfway alert family members.

If I had a daughter who decided to become an SP, I`d certainly not want her to feel she has to play a game of deception with me. I`d of course worry about her safety, but not put any kind of moral guilt trip on her.

In fact, this "coming-out" conversation would probably be a good time for me to level with her about my own pooning activities.

But personally, I wouldn`t inquire into the details of her job—or send potential customers her way, as envisaged by brother JC. https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?178312-A-review-not-like-any-before

And I`d definitely not get involved in any consensual incest-type encounter, as depicted in "family" porn.

I wonder how others—especially SPs—think a parent`s acceptance of a daughter`s choice of escort work should ideally express itself.

 

[tantalizeme]

Telling your children must be even harder than telling your parents!

As a mom and grandma now, my older children were told by a aquaintance what I do, I was devastated they were devastated, I left the business that day, my heart was broken I lied and kept a secret from them, my world I felt was over. But I loved what I was doing and I am an adult I spoke to them showed them websites and the laws. Their concern was more that I would be hurt murdered as my friend was who was an escort, I explained it was ok, (they are still missing her) just thought I woulod ad that in. I said I am not into drugs I am still your mom I am still me nothing has changed. I just have a different job then most people we know.

Thanks so much for sharing, Angie. You're one amazing grandma! Just keep holding your head high until you're 100.

Here's a blog entitled, "How to tell your parents you're a prostitute." http://jezebel.com/5941073/how-to-tell-your-parents-youre-a-prostitute

The blog itself is quite inspiring—author Robin Hustle's parents are obviously intellectuals—though the reader comments are largely unsympathetic.

Reading about this issue helps me appreciate the familial conflict and shaming a Western SP is likely to experience who operates geographically close to her family, as opposed to Asian SPs who're far from home and can probably get away with lies more easily.

 

[jesuschrist]

Most people are sheep. The education system in this country has gone a long way in shaping the mores of society and parenting, and people are such sheep they never know it. When educators have been saying to the kids that we need to tolerate gay parents, the kids bring that attitude home and that begins a change in the morals of the parents. Years later, parents begin to echo the sentiments of the educators, now completely absorbed by the kids.

That's what happens, believe it.

That's why if you ask how far a parent's approval of a daughter's choice for prostitution should go, the answer is: as far as the educators want to take it - and the parents will eventually fall into line.

So if the educators start telling kids that prostitution is a viable career choice, by the time the kid graduates from school 12 years later, the parents will be supporting it right to the point of paying for bachelor degrees in prostitution offered at the local community college. Prospective employers will say, "so.... you have a prostitution degree specializing in ass fucking, with honors? That's a tough degree to get young lady. You're hired!"

 

[yazoo]

Reading about this issue helps me appreciate the familial conflict and shaming a Western SP is likely to experience who operates geographically close to her family, as opposed to Asian SPs who're far from home and can probably get away with lies more easily.

Maybe we are middle of the pack when it comes to the shaming thing. One one hand I have an ex SP friend in Macau who flew her family over and showed them the city and where she worked. The fact that her family was responsible for her and her sister being there is another issue.

One the other hand you have SP's who are killed by a family member to protect the family name.

Working close to home or in another city or country is something that all SP's have available to them. Caucasian SP's can make a ton of money in Asia and Europe, just as Asian SP's do pretty well here.

Cute Angel and Sexy Melina, you are lucky to have such understanding supportive families. Thanks for sharing. The family issue for safety is a legitimate one - it isn't a job without risks. I imagine parents have similar conversations with kids who join the army, or work in Algerian oilfields, or become cops. Others parents, however are more selfish, caring only for how having an SP offspring will make them look.

 

[InTheBum]

If the parents can't accept a daughter becoming a SP...then clearly, the parents are square and boring!!!!

ound:

 

[mimi]

Tant...talking to ones kids about pooning is not much different than talking to them about what you do with your wife. It's on a "not need to know" basis. I doubt many people are interested in their parents sex lives.

My mom knew. I told her. I was the black sheep and she was just glad I wasn't on the streets. In her mind I was 'dating' with benefits. I never elaborated.

 

[Bootsy]

Easy to say we'd accept if it was our daughter, cause chances are its not our daughter. Me, I have no kids...but if I did and she was an escort...well, she'd still be my kid, I'd be crushed, disappointed and probably cut her off for awhile. Hypocritical, definitely, but im not going to lie and act like id have no problems with it.

Would I be ok with my 20 year old daughter (if i had one) fucking some 60 year old for money...fuck no. I'd guess most dads are protective of their daughter even when they first start leaving the house and dating, now imagine some stranger sticking his fingers and other stuff into her, and all the other acronyms, imagine reading a review with bbbj, cimws, digits, dato, I'd go crazy.

Although, if there are any pooners out there whos daughter is also an escort, thats who i'd like to hear from...the rest of us are just spouting bullshit we think everyone on an escort review board would like to hear.

 

[jesuschrist]

why does it make a difference to you if she is fucking a 60 year old for money vs. fucking a 30 year old for money ???

I'm guessing if the girl would fuck a 60 year old as opposed to a 30 year old, she's more desperate or more depraved, would be his reason.

 

[Bootsy]

Cause if shes 20 and hes 60, thats old enough to be her grandfather, but it was just an example. At any age, I'd go crazy (hypothetically, im sure thats how I would react, I have no kids)

I'm positive when a parent looks at her little princess at 5 years old, an escort is the last career choice they would envision, why would that change and suddenly be ok just because I visit escorts. The old saying "Not in my backyard" or something like that. Like I said, hypocritical, yes, but completely honest. I'm not going to give an answer an escort review board wants to hear for the sake of ass kissing.

At the end of the day, I wouldn't disown someone for what they do though. Is it a society sheep thing, probably, but while we live in society, thats the way it is. Everytime you meet your friends and they ask what your daughter is doing, do you lie?, say I don't know? or say she fucks strangers?

 

[Bootsy]

silly ageism, it makes no difference whether the guy that is paying her is 30 or 60, no difference at all, in "desperation" or "depravity"

Yeah, just an example, but any age would drive me crazy. Some punk 18 year old, 25 year old frat boy, 35 year old douchebag, any age.

 

[Bootsy]

Yeah, anything I say is really hypothetical, but I'm being honest in how I think I would react.

I do agree, whatever your kid does, they are always your kids. Whether they turn into a doctor, lawyer, plumber, politician, murderer, whatever, still your kids.

Btw, I do pay for sex. So I know it's hypocritical of me...it's all good, just not in my backyard.

 

[Cock Throppled]

I was fifty, dating a twenty year old (no money exchange) because we liked each other. Our social references were different but we liked hanging out together and having sex. She preferred older guys and I preferred younger women, so who's business who's fucking who whatever the age, race or sex? Saying a daughter who was an SP would worry you because she'd be fucking older men is stupid. If a daughter (or son for that matter) was an SP and was happy and not forced or in danger it should be an acceptable a career choice and better than being a politician.

 

[tantalizeme]

Melina, you've got the greatest mum. Hope you've an understanding dad too!

I am so lucky, my mom loves me unconditionally. She is always in my corner and my number one support, I tell her everything. We talk 5 times a day or more lol! When I first started working I was avoiding my mom and working so I couldn't talk to her. She asked me what was up and I couldn't lie to her anymore. After a month I told her everything and she says to me "oh thank god! I thought you were on drugs" lmao ...!!! An odd thing for a mother to say when your daughter tells you she is escorting. Thats how close my mom and I are that we haven't gone that long EVER my whole life without talking.

A woman telling her parents she's an escort has probably produced some of the more dramatic conversations in human history.

Here's how I imagine such a conversation between my daughter and myself might go.

Me: "Wow, my dear, you always got such nice outfits. Your job at the coffee shop must pay well, or perhaps you buy them second-hand. Or did you find a rich boyfriend?"

Her: "Dad, there's something I've been meaning to tell you for a while...Can I be honest?"

Me: "Absolutely, daughter dearie."

Her: "You've always been so positive about the joy of sex, dad. You're a big believer in sexual freedom. So I hope you don't mind, I've decided to do a bit of escort work on the side."

Me: "Oh, I see. Well, you're a young adult, you make your own choices now."

Her: "Thanks, dad. I knew you'd support me."

Me: "I support you, but I also worry. I'm sure you're aware of the pitfalls of escorting work—the potential for STDs, pimps who want to get you hooked on drugs so they can exploit you, and of course the stigma in the eyes of prudes."

Her: "I can take care of myself, dad. You and mom gave me good genes, and I've got my head screwed on right."

Me: "What got you into this line of work?"

Her: "Well, there's this regular at the coffee shop where I work. An older fellow named Sonny, well-dressed, smooth talker. He tried to ask me out a few months ago, but of course I said no. He's at least 30 years older than me. Then he whispered something in my ear that made me think."

Me: "What did he say?"

Her: "'I make it worth your while,' he said. '200 bucks if you get comfortable with me for one hour in the hotel next door.' That's over 15 times my hourly rate as a barista! He seemed nice, and I was curious, so after my shift we got together."

Me: "And?"

Her: "He was great, really knew what he was doing, best sex I ever had. Not like my geeky boyfriends who're all selfish and always broke. Sonny gave me the promised 200 plus a 50 dollar extra tip!"

Me: "Wow, I understand. I'd have been tempted to do the same thing in your place."

Her: "Sonny also told me about some websites called ERSLIST and PERB where a girl can advertise. You won't believe how easy it is to get oneself set up in this business. Via PERB I even connected with another girl, Barbie, who's interested in renting a condo together downtown, so we can look out for each other's safety."

Me: "Sounds fantastic. But aren't some of the guys that pay you a little...over the hill? I mean, fat, bald, ugly?"

Her: "You guys always judge women by their looks, but for us girls looks aren't nearly as important. The sweetest guys are often the least physically perfect. And you know what you always taught me: try to spread happiness around. I find it very meaningful to help satisfy the needs of guys who would never get to touch a woman like me if they didn't pay for it."

Me: "That's my girl! Great attitude. Yeah, nothing more difficult for most men than satisfy the promptings of their sexual desire."

Her: "Plus, I love sex, all kinds of sex with all kinds of people. Hardly feels like work at all, most of the time. And for a few enjoyable hours in bed with these guys I've more money than I need all week. Why should I give it away for free to some possessive young jerk?"

Me: "Well, you've been a go-getter from an early age, daughter. There's no stopping someone headstrong like yourself. Can't blame you for thinking like this—certainly beats getting married young and then lapsing into a lifetime of sexual boredom, like most people.

Go for it then...and keep me posted if you run into any trouble."

 

[Bootsy]

Thank You for not taking offense to my post I did my best not to come out rude.

Nah, why would I be offended? Like I said, it's completely hypothetical for 99% of us. The only ones who can truly say how they would react are those who have been in that situation.

I could make a whole narrative on how understanding, how cool of a dad, how laid back I am because I haven't been in that situation. Who knows, I might flip out or I might be understanding, I don't know.

 

[InTheBum]

I actually would be okay with my daughter being a SP. HOwever, I would not be okay with her being a hooker on a street corner and strung out on drugs. If she was a professional Sp and charged good money for her time, and she was saving for a future or retirement. I would say, hey, it's a better future than working at Tim Hortons for min wage. At least with being an SP, you can save up a ton of dough.

Although, I would suggest giving massages and HJs and make 2 to 4 bills a day, tax free!

 

[Holly Taylor]

Here's what I don't understand: If being an escort is so horrible that it's the last thing you'd want your daughter to do, then how can you possibly justify seeing escorts yourself?

We are all someone's daughter.

I completely understand the desire to see your child succeed, and do the best they can. I imagine most parents would want their daughter to be a doctor, or lawyer, or CEO. These are highly respected positions which pay well. But not everyone can be a doctor or lawyer. Some people are receptionists, house cleaners, garbage collectors, fast food workers, truck drivers, travel agents, janitors, hairdressers, etc.

While many parents would say that they'd like their child to be a doctor, I don't think I've heard anyone express vehement opposition to their child being a truck driver or receptionist the way they do with the possibility of their child being an escort.

So I have to wonder - if escorting is so fundamentally different from other types of work, to the point that you would specifically not want your daughter to be an escort, then how on earth can you justify the decision to see escorts yourself?

Again, we are all someone's daughter.

Now, I'm not saying that any parent should specifically want their daughter to be an escort any more than they should specifically want their daughter to be a receptionist or house cleaner or massage therapist. But if you honestly think that being an escort is damaging, then I want to know how you can justify contributing to the damage of other people's daughters.

I think it's pretty clear from my posts over the years, the statements on my website, and the fact that I've been involved in this industry for 7 years that I enjoy this job and I'm here by choice. I find this job interesting and rewarding on many levels. I don't consider this job to be fundamentally damaging in any way. I consider escorting to be a job with pros and cons just like any other job.

But if you disagree with me, and you think this job is much worse than other jobs, that it's horrible, that it's damaging, and if it would disturb you to know that your daughter was involved in this work, then I really and truly don't understand how you can see escorts, because we are all someone's daughter.


*Please note: This post is not directed toward anyone in particular, or any other post made in this thread. It is simply my response to an attitude that I've frequently encountered in the past, and I thought this would be an appropriate thread in which to offer my comments.

 

[deleted Miss Lux]

I agree so much with what Holly so eloquently wrote... Thanks for putting that into words!

I came out to my parents pretty soon after I started working and mostly because one of my anti escort "friends" outed me. It cost me my relationship with my father (2+ years without a word now) and his family.

My mom didn't love it but she accepted it and listened to my reasons for doing it and loving it without trying to talk me out of it. That is unconditional love and I will never forget that.

If my daughter decides to go into this work, I would want to know it was an informed decision that she made for herself and also I would want her to have the sort of community and support that I have doing this work. I would never want her to feel the abandonment and rejection that I did. That has got to be one of the most toxic things one can do to their child.

I love what I do and what I can offer, I don't feel wounded because of this profession (in fact it's probably been more healing than anything) and if someone who supposedly loves and cares about me can't see past the stigma or hear my perspective, well sorry, but I'm not changing.

 

[jesuschrist]

If you are going to be a supportive parent of your daughter's sex work, then as a father it is incumbent upon you to show her what a lot of men expect so that she can be skilled enough to perform her duties well and excel in her job.

For example, a father should:
1) show her raunchy Max Hardcore videos
2) show her German porn
3) show her Japanese porn
4) show her porn with lots of face fucking and drooling
5) show her porn with extreme anal, huge objects and anal prolapses
6) show her bukkake porn
7) show her gangbangs with lots of black men with 14" dicks
8) show her ass to mouth

Not that all men are like this, but if sex work were to become more popular - especially if there is a push for parents to support their daughters going into the sex trade, then services will become more extreme like that done in porn. We're seeing this already today as porn has become very influential in what happens in the sex trade - take shaved pussies as an example.

If you're not going to support your daughter doing this, then all this does not apply to you. But what I will say is this: I think those people who say that "unconditional love" is supporting your daughter going into the sex trade, that is total B.S.

How many parents would support their son becoming a paid mercenary and going to Uganda to kill people? What if he said it was his dream come true and nothing would make him happier? I think unconditional love is to not reject him, but do some real parenting and get him some professional help.

 

[Cock Throppled]

If you are going to be a supportive parent of your daughter's sex work, then as a father it is incumbent upon you to show her what a lot of men expect so that she can be skilled enough to perform her duties well and excel in her job.

For example, a father should:
1) show her raunchy Max Hardcore videos
2) show her German porn
3) show her Japanese porn
4) show her porn with lots of face fucking and drooling
5) show her porn with extreme anal, huge objects and anal prolapses
6) show her bukkake porn
7) show her gangbangs with lots of black men with 14" dicks
8) show her ass to mouth

Not that all men are like this, but if sex work were to become more popular - especially if there is a push for parents to support their daughters going into the sex trade, then services will become more extreme like that done in porn. We're seeing this already today as porn has become very influential in what happens in the sex trade - take shaved pussies as an example.

If you're not going to support your daughter doing this, then all this does not apply to you. But what I will say is this: I think those people who say that "unconditional love" is supporting your daughter going into the sex trade, that is total B.S.

How many parents would support their son becoming a paid mercenary and going to Uganda to kill people? What if he said it was his dream come true and nothing would make him happier? I think unconditional love is to not reject him, but do some real parenting and get him some professional help.

Speak for you own way of thinking, not mine or anyone else.
Does legal alcohol increase the demand for heroin? If sex work became more popular it wouldn't lead to more extreme and violent sex acts like you seem to enjoy viewing.
If you want to seek out people providing those services you can find it now, I'm sure. Most of us have no interest in it.

Adults can make their own decisions and even decisions you don't agree with don't necessarily require professional help.

 

[uncleg]

Lets' see.........if my daughter ran a restaurant would I eat there ? Yes, I would. If she was an SP............I'd pass. Both are legit services, but one has to draw the line somewhere. On the other hand if she were running a brothel and some interesting talent working there, I'd go.......might even get a friends and family discount.