I am not asking if you would stay or just leave. There’s no question there - I left. The question is do you leave any money behind? I instinctively went for the cash and dropped $100 (not even close to the full donation) and left. Between the cash and the $70 bottle of Champagne I brought, I was out $170 for nothing – except the wonderful feeling of being pissed-off. Was I right or wrong to leave her anything?
How do you handle an extremely intoxicated provider?
- Thread starter bhave
- Start date
Zero $ for WOT
Why no review? This is the sort of thing that Pooners should be made aware of IMHO
Why no review? This is the sort of thing that Pooners should be made aware of IMHO
Absolutely. That is exactly part of what this board is for is it not.
Not just for who provides good device but also those who don't.
Not just for who provides good device but also those who don't.
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I would have given her nothing and then asked her for my money back. And when she handed me $70 I didn't actually give her, it's then that I would have walked out the door.
I agree if she got drunk drinking the Booz you brought then pay as per the deal you set up . If she is a drunken fool of a woman who would see a client in that state is a risk to everyone leave don't pay don't touch and wipe it from your memory .
All the best to you !
Jessica
All the best to you !
Jessica
Actually this happened to the Puntmeister many many years ago. For some stupid reason, I made bad coffee and burnt scrambled eggs in a kitchenette I didn't know using implements ill-suited to the purpose, and I rather botched the whole 'Hugh Grant' Mr. sensitive moment. It was nuts, but I fed her and got her on the path toward sobriety althought that state would have to come much later. Chatted a bit. Held her warmly as she apologized and wept. Got her cozy on the couch with a ratty old blanket, and when I felt she would be safe enough to leave, I left. Nope, didn't donate cash--not because of dissappointment for services not rendered, but because I didn't want to be an enabler. I enjoy an adult beverage now and again. OK, maybe more like again and again. Maybe I saw something of my own frailty in the weakness of this person, but in the end, Punt concluded the human condition we share is worth some ember of compassion. Maybe I was a dipshit for staying at all, and maybe it was one of the most selfless things I did to try and show a little care for someone in the dumps. I still don't know, but am glad for myself that I did it at the time. I have no idea what became of her, nor do I care to repeat. Tears.
Punt.
Punt.
Thanks for all the replies. It has really helped me deal with this unfortunate situation. (and feel less pissed-off at her) I just want to clarify some of the circumstances surrounding the non-event.
1) She was wasted when I walked in - she drank none of what I brought - I had one glass, got really uncomfortable and left (I read later on another board that she had a major duo party with another client right before me)
2) I have seen this lady (almost exclusively) for almost 9 years so she knew that she was very safe with me (this is also why I will not be posting a review - this was a one-time misstep on her part) Maybe this is why I felt compelled to leave her something?
3) She was not passed-out and she could still walk - she was just slobbering drunk. I could tell that she was aware enough of her condition to not drink any of the champagne I brought, plus, her duo partner lives right around the corner and that's where she was headed so I was pretty sure that she was physically safe.
I dragged an apology out of her the next day (I had to email her to get her to say sorry) but there was no mention of the money or making it up to me so it's her loss... It may seem naive but I think that there is still room for personal character in this industry. I got at glimpse into her character that day - now she has one less client. I will reread the posts in this thread anytime I feel weak and think of calling her again!!!
Now I feel really foolish. If this ever happens again I'll know "no play - no pay".
1) She was wasted when I walked in - she drank none of what I brought - I had one glass, got really uncomfortable and left (I read later on another board that she had a major duo party with another client right before me)
2) I have seen this lady (almost exclusively) for almost 9 years so she knew that she was very safe with me (this is also why I will not be posting a review - this was a one-time misstep on her part) Maybe this is why I felt compelled to leave her something?
3) She was not passed-out and she could still walk - she was just slobbering drunk. I could tell that she was aware enough of her condition to not drink any of the champagne I brought, plus, her duo partner lives right around the corner and that's where she was headed so I was pretty sure that she was physically safe.
I dragged an apology out of her the next day (I had to email her to get her to say sorry) but there was no mention of the money or making it up to me so it's her loss... It may seem naive but I think that there is still room for personal character in this industry. I got at glimpse into her character that day - now she has one less client. I will reread the posts in this thread anytime I feel weak and think of calling her again!!!
Now I feel really foolish. If this ever happens again I'll know "no play - no pay".
Some people don't have the courage in the moment to say they are sorry . The shame is greater than doing the right thing . I would wait and see how she responds in the coming months and days . Giving up on her right now is understandable and even though she dropped the ball in a major way I believe after 9 years she still will have the ability to inspire you and surprise you . We all love a come back story hopefully the next time you write to us it will be how she turned this around which I hope she will . You seem like a very loyal and caring client I know your unhappiness will have an impact on her lets hope it leads her in the right direction .
Stay strong !
Jessica James
Stay strong !
Jessica James
Thoughtful response, Miss JJ. Loyalty might buy us a little leeway, under the right circumstances. Give her a chance.
Thoughtful response, Miss JJ. Loyalty might buy us a little leeway, under the right circumstances. Give her a chance.
You know, Miss Bijou, 90 seconds is a small price to pay for a principle...
You, Ms James, are clearly the sort of woman that we should all strive to be, as is Ms Alex for her thoughtful reply to you. I am still very new to this business, but everywhere around me I see role models that I wish to emulate, and behaviour that I wish to avoid at all costs. You've addressed this issue in such a thoughtful manner that is sensitive to the perspective of BOTH sides; not an easy thing to do in a world (or community?) where it is all too easy to form camps.
Brava!
I totally get it now and see why you didn't do a review.
We are all human and all make mistakes. In the same situation, I wouldn't throw her under a bus either.
We all have similar stories to tell and it's best that some things are left unsaid. Good for you for taking the high road.
You have a soft, sweet soul! What you did for that gal was very kind.
Who knows why they are in that state. No, it's not professional but life isn't perfect for any of us. People usually drink or self medicate with drugs or alcohol to escape. Sometimes, we would not want to know what they are escaping from because it could be more than we ourselves could bare. Instead of judging, try to help but I agree with not enabling.
