How do you connect with your SP?

[krishramsay]

Hey there fellow pooners!

Just got into the pooning scene a few months ago. I have been with quite a few SPs in the short period of time I started this hobby. I will make a new thread soon, reviewing some of the SPs I've been with.

But before that, one thing that has been bothering me was that I found it strange was that I cannot climax almost 3/4th of the time and have to resort to jerking off to finish the session. It's kind of weird because this was never the case in the past and with past girlfriends and stuff.

I haven't had a girlfriend in a while but after some reflection and advise from some buddies I was told that it was because
A) I watch too much porn (not really into that stuff anymore)
B) I am not really relaxed enough and have to take it slow to enjoy myself and
C) I don't have a proper connection with the SP...

C seems to be (I think) something I should really work on

Before you start evaluating me, I am a pretty healthy dude, only 22, social drinker, don't smoke or do drugs, find the SP I am with mostly very attractive and always book an hour long session and can get and keep a hard on easily and for a long time....

I was wondering if you guys (and girls) can tell me what you do to connect with your SP/Client to make it the perfect experience? Or you can add any other suggestion you think could solve my problem. Thanks and much appreciated!

 

[amigo67]

http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/any-suggestions-for-healing-delayed-ejaculation

Worth reading if you are a porn user

 

[kenchorney]

Welcome back Tobley

 

[InTheBum]

I get naked and the SP connects with me!:clap2:

 

[J.O. Henson]

I found the best sessions come where you are more than just physically attracted to the lady. As one has written, the brain is the biggest sex organ. So if you can find a lady who you can have an intellectual connection with your session may be that much greater. You will be more relaxed and she may seem more like your girlfriend that way which may make things go as expected. Each person is different so it's not like you could say "go see girl #1" it will take research so to speak on your behalf to see who you connect with.

 

[VanessaofBC]

Be friendly, smile say hello. Ask how her day was. Make an effort to be interested ask her questions (nothing personal)

eg:
How was your day
What do you do for fun
Do you like to travel? Where to?

RELAX! Be yourself do not rush things. Learn to lay back close your eyes and lose yourself in the moment.

When I have clients visit they are a guest in my home! I offer them a beverage and find a 5-10 min massage often eases anxiety and gives you a chance to chit chat before starting the session. IMO a good escort should be able to easily engage in conversation. I want my clients to feel at home while they are here, so feel free to suggest your favourite positions,adjust the pillows or suggest a certain rhythm you like with your oral/HJ. As long as you not overly bossy or demanding she should accommodate you! If not write a review, get feedback from other pooners and refine your "game".

IDK if any of that is helpful, but there is only so much you can do if the lady has a language barrier or is just not that interested in her job.

edit: D) You are so used to getting yourself off that a stranger (without the proper technique) cannot make you acheive Orgasam.

 

[Dickson]

I hear you and been there. After years and years in the hobby I have learned a few things about myself and my time with SPs. Over time it not enough any more to do a 1 Hour session. Even two hours does not allow me to get off. I can pound away and it is embarassing because I just do not get off. Now I have to hire two or three or four SPs because I have learned it is not the act but the emotion that now drives me. I just had a Russian Lady and her Ukranian friend for four hours fuck fest until they were unable to go any more. It is not the fucking that gets me off. It is the connection.

So now my normal SP event is multiple hours, do dinner, out to the theater or Opera and I need to have the connection. If they hold me and say a couple words I explode. This happened to me in an elevator a number of years a with a SP in Baltimore. I was shocked. She was hot and we were going out for dinner but she was so hot and on the elevator down she grabed me pulled me close and whispered in my ear these world and I exploded in my suit. I was shocked and we had to go back to the room and she licked me clean.

My point is over time for me it is not about the sex but about the experience. Recently I had VV organize a wedding in Vancouver with 6 SPs it was a blast. But it is the experience not the sex that matters. So my advice is do longer sessions live out you dreams. I love the idea of being married so I pay SPs to be Mrs Dickson. We go shopping, we go for dinner, we go to the theater or Opera. But she plays the part of my wife. Sometime we hire SPs to meet us and seduce us. It is so much fun. For me Fucking means very little and I do not get off. But getting connected is the real turn on and that is more my style now I am older.I like to see how long I can be hard.

Different things for different folks.

 

[badbadboy]

I guess the thing I do is tell myself that this is going to be fun! After all this is not like seeing a dentist. Have a smile on your face and have a positive attitude will go a long way. Being playful and use your sense of humour; it usually lightens the anticipation you are both feeling.

I have been very fortunate to have met some really nice SP's and they seem happy to see me when I arrive at their door. I like to please and be pleased so I generally seek out ladies who are into mutual enjoyment.

Touch wood (pun intended) this past summer and fall have been amazing with all the different SPs I have met.

 

[Dark_Knight]

I connect between our legs with an sp when I see her.

 

[amigo67]

I would say "being present" is a big part of it. It is easier to achieve with more time because you can allow the session to flow naturally, instead of being in your head thinking "what do I do next... How much time have I got left.." Ect.

I am new to the game myself. I struggle with being present when the condom goes on. I have to learn how to get out of my head and enjoy the moment... instead of thinking so damned much.

 

[Dickson]

So true Amigo you got to get lost in the moment and it becomes so much more. I really hire SPs to play the role. If they get into it and play the part it really makes the experience. The key for me is make as real as possible.

 

[krishramsay]

Thanks a lot everyone, it really helps! and some of the stuff mentioned in that porno article is shocking!

 

[Crumb]

I find that the more time I spend with someone the better it goes with me. the more comfortable I feel and the connection I've gained.
my first time with someone new, I get a case of nerves, have performance anxiety, and for me, it's not only hard to get going, it can be difficult to finish.

 

[sevenofnine]

Is a connection necessary.


I think for most of us at some point we look for a connection,
But is it a requirement for sex or good sex with an sp.


I think a connection is more about self worth. Does she actually like me or just wants my money etc etc.

I saw some one a couple of months ago, second time I saw her but it was pretty much like the first session, As soon as the door shut get naked and get into it.
The first session I ever had and among the best like that, she molested me as soon as the door closed.

I think we all want a connection, maybe more so the women in this then the guys at some point.
Because both ladies asked me to stay after the session.

I am married so I don't really want a connection, so my first sort of thought is what the hell is the lady doing.

The lady I see now we have a great relationship connection, but after years of seeing her, and I asked her lets keep this professional.
But at some point it was bound to happen and it did.

And the question how do you connect with an sp, it just happens you can't really force it.

And to be honest, not necessary and gets in the way sometimes.

I mean me and the sp's I see tend to become friends we trust each other, so we bring our life into the sessions with us.
Sometimes real life gets in the way of real sex for instance one of the post my dog dies, my kid is sick etc etc.

Friends see each other just because there friends and want to see each other, sex is or becomes secondary.

Um sex with a friend with some one we connect with can be great amazing wonderful.

But sp';;s that we become friends with have a bond with, we can also loose them sexually as well.

The Op is twenty something, at that age I had a perpetual hard on.

I think someone said some where the biggest sexual organ we have is our brain.

 

[Cami Parker]

Just don't overthink it...

 

[HunkyBill]

A good SP can and should a fake a connection over no connection. It's all about the experience, fantasy, and dream? Isn't it?

 

[VanessaofBC]

A good SP can and should a fake a connection over no connection. It's all about the experience, fantasy, and dream? Isn't it?

Sometimes when I meet a particularly non-chatty client I wonder to myself..."do they WANT a quiet experience"? Like a trip to the spa or RMT is normally "quiet". Others clients are chatty and want to be engaged in conversation. I wonder why do so many men frequent these AMPs where some of the ladies have trouble with English? How do they develop a "connection"? Do they care to even bother? Hmmm........

 

[amigo67]

I'm old fashioned. I like to take some time to chat

 

[PlayfulAlex]

I find that the more time I spend with someone the better it goes with me. the more comfortable I feel and the connection I've gained.
my first time with someone new, I get a case of nerves, have performance anxiety, and for me, it's not only hard to get going, it can be difficult to finish.

I have found this to be true, crumb, nicely said. Not everyone experiences this anxiety with someone new, of course, but it is very common. The second time it's much easier to relax into the visit. Even more so going forwards.

 

[black ace]

I have this problem as well. I find it helps to just have a regular girl. Find someone who offers what you like, who you are comfortable with and stick with them for awhile.

Also I started taking Viagra to keep me hard all the way through and I think I was taking too much. Went from 1/2 to 1/4 and finished very quickly last time out.

Live and learn....