Subtlies, sights, sounds, touch, sensations...
To describe my beginnings from one singular event, perhaps it's possible, but i think it really begins as a series of individual experiences which accumulate over time and are finally unleashed through a defining moment, or experience. An alignment of sorts.
For me, it began with tactile sensations, the feeling of rubber gloves, the heady pungent scent, the visual stimulation of watching a particular movement, the auditory response generated by a certain sound, a fragrance that in a wisp, captured my attention like an invisible caress.
For me it's about being alive and aware of my surroundings and the force filling each moment of life. There are days when i am acutely aware of even the smallest of these sensations and stimulations, and moments where sadly, i miss many of them, the world affecting me as to cloud those very special moments. Those are sad days.
As i grew older, i began to notice the subtlies of how a Woman walked, of how Her body moved, how Her feet took each step, how Her lips moved as She spoke, and how the sound of Her voice filled the air with such melody and Her point of view was so different from mine. i watched how the beautiful concert of Her body worked in harmony so as to create movement and sound. i noticed how the delicate tendrils of scent differed from Woman to Woman. These observations i suppose, set the stage for what i know now is absolute devotion to the Beauty that resides within a Woman...i began to worship internally, unaware of the pathways forming in the young, fertile plains of my mind.
Somewhere around that time, i came to understand the deep empathy i had for people in general, the deep desire to please and bring genuine pleasure to A/another person through my actions. Perhaps self-serving in some ways as well...because i craved the praise sometimes generated by such acts...i paid the price too, because the lesson learned that one can't please everyone all the time became readily apparent.
Somehow, the link between my deep devotion to the Goddess, coupled with this very real desire to please - the result, Y/you the reader can imagine, has transformed into the submissive gimp that Mistress Dominique sees looking upward into the depth of Her beautiful eyes searching for ways to please and amuse Her in any way that he can.
If it is pain She chooses to inflict, then so be it...Through Her actions and the contortions and sounds of my body and the pain in my eyes, if that pleases Her, then i am richly rewarded.
If it is the total power exchange that She holds over the "type a" slave prone in defference upon the ground beneath Her, then She commands and owns me.
If it is the slave She positions to fuck deeply with Her strap-on, then She unlocks the true submissive spirit which She alone commands and controls, and who dances in a frenzy impaled by the Woman he serves and worships.
For me, it was a path that i continue to walk today, that results in a constant series of "beginnings" with each new experience. But the fundamentals remain, it is the Goddess that breathes life into this hollow shell, it is the Goddess who through Her ministrations, needs and presence completes and brings meaning to my life. All the things i accomplish and do in my life pale against the deep, genuine rewards from serving in any capacity, the Woman who commands my soul. The gimp is alive for Her.
