(… a slightly misleading title, perhaps, since “caning” was about all that didn’t happen, but it still sounded festive…).
So… Mr. Bad Santa… that “naughty and nice list” fear mongering stuff is a bit of a hoax now, isn’t it? ‘Cause I was really, really,REALLY naughty today… and my li’l fella was even worse… and you should have SEEN the presents we got!
I get to Ms. Laine’s home-for-the-day, and she greets me with a sweet smile and a little bit of “sugar”. She’s decked out in her holiday outfit (the furry, red elfin thing that she’s sporting in her pictures… you know, the one that barely covers that yummy caboose? Yeah… that one…), and I would have thought that it was going to be a cosy session of heavy Knödelling… something that past experiences have proven she is very good at (for reference, I’d say she’s on par with the lovely Ms. Victoria Jolie, but not quite as adept at that as the Dreamy One…). That’s a short-lived assumption though, because by the time I noticed the phalanx of “daunting” instruments lined up on the nightstand (one of them even looked like a lobster claw… huh.), the outfit was jettisoned and the pretty lady was on me….
Ms. Laine: “Breakfast?”
Rabbit: “No thank you, I ju…”
Ms. Laine: “Eat!”
Ok, breakfast it is.
Not entirely sure how things went next, because it all went so fast, and I get confused. I remember there was a single moment of “push back” on my part early on… where I said “no – I don’t want…”; and she says “don’t be such a baby”; and I say “but that isn’t very…”; and she says “DO IT!”. And, to my shame… I did. And… to my bigger surprise… it was actually… pretty fun. There wasn’t any more “push back” after that.
And I remember… well, if we’re going to talk about shameful, might as well lay it all out there… I remember the poor thing had to hose me down again mid-way ‘cause I got all nasty (been pretty out of practice since the passing of the Age of Angels… and unlike horses, rabbits get pretty ‘icky’ when they are ridden really hard).
And I remember noting to myself that latex plants across North America should probably consider adding additional shifts to their production schedules.
Oh, and speaking of which – I also remember seeing a prophylactic fully unrolled for the first time, I think, and I couldn’t help wondering “Really? REALLY??? I don’t know if there are any kinds of monsters out there who could possibly need THAT… but if there are, they need to stay the HELL away from my Josie…”.
And I remember… see, I was supposed to hold on to something, but my paws were all slippery from…. well, my paws were all slippery… and it was kinda “squirmy” when it was on… and I was occupied with other things… and I… I… I “lost” something. And she says “never mind”... but I’m all like “what do you mean, ‘never mind’? We can’t just ‘never mind’! How can we ‘never mind’??? It… it…” . And she says “It isn’t going anywhere.” Fair enough. So we did ‘never mind’ for a little while… and I got to feel a very unique sensation, and in the process, learn a little about why ladies don’t REALLY need men nowadays….
And in the end, I remember being completely wrecked… lying broken on the bed (very much needing the third cleansing of the morning) as a beautiful blonde haired courtesan with a sweet giggle and radiant smile fed me fruit like I was a Roman Emperor, while sharing tales with me of how she has fared since we last met.
*thumpthumpthumpthumpthump*
Then - if that weren’t enough - after being so generous with her “treatments” and affections, she “low-balled” her own gift request to the point that it was actually unfair. I have more flaws than I care to enumerate (I would guess there is a pretty full list on the ladies’ forums)… but “ingrate” isn’t one of them.
Shame she isn’t here much. This place… heck, ANY place… would be far better off with more Sandi Laines.
Happy thumping, all!
So… Mr. Bad Santa… that “naughty and nice list” fear mongering stuff is a bit of a hoax now, isn’t it? ‘Cause I was really, really,REALLY naughty today… and my li’l fella was even worse… and you should have SEEN the presents we got!
I get to Ms. Laine’s home-for-the-day, and she greets me with a sweet smile and a little bit of “sugar”. She’s decked out in her holiday outfit (the furry, red elfin thing that she’s sporting in her pictures… you know, the one that barely covers that yummy caboose? Yeah… that one…), and I would have thought that it was going to be a cosy session of heavy Knödelling… something that past experiences have proven she is very good at (for reference, I’d say she’s on par with the lovely Ms. Victoria Jolie, but not quite as adept at that as the Dreamy One…). That’s a short-lived assumption though, because by the time I noticed the phalanx of “daunting” instruments lined up on the nightstand (one of them even looked like a lobster claw… huh.), the outfit was jettisoned and the pretty lady was on me….
Ms. Laine: “Breakfast?”
Rabbit: “No thank you, I ju…”
Ms. Laine: “Eat!”
Ok, breakfast it is.
Not entirely sure how things went next, because it all went so fast, and I get confused. I remember there was a single moment of “push back” on my part early on… where I said “no – I don’t want…”; and she says “don’t be such a baby”; and I say “but that isn’t very…”; and she says “DO IT!”. And, to my shame… I did. And… to my bigger surprise… it was actually… pretty fun. There wasn’t any more “push back” after that.
And I remember… well, if we’re going to talk about shameful, might as well lay it all out there… I remember the poor thing had to hose me down again mid-way ‘cause I got all nasty (been pretty out of practice since the passing of the Age of Angels… and unlike horses, rabbits get pretty ‘icky’ when they are ridden really hard).
And I remember noting to myself that latex plants across North America should probably consider adding additional shifts to their production schedules.
Oh, and speaking of which – I also remember seeing a prophylactic fully unrolled for the first time, I think, and I couldn’t help wondering “Really? REALLY??? I don’t know if there are any kinds of monsters out there who could possibly need THAT… but if there are, they need to stay the HELL away from my Josie…”.
And I remember… see, I was supposed to hold on to something, but my paws were all slippery from…. well, my paws were all slippery… and it was kinda “squirmy” when it was on… and I was occupied with other things… and I… I… I “lost” something. And she says “never mind”... but I’m all like “what do you mean, ‘never mind’? We can’t just ‘never mind’! How can we ‘never mind’??? It… it…”
. And she says “It isn’t going anywhere.” Fair enough. So we did ‘never mind’ for a little while… and I got to feel a very unique sensation, and in the process, learn a little about why ladies don’t REALLY need men nowadays…. And in the end, I remember being completely wrecked… lying broken on the bed (very much needing the third cleansing of the morning) as a beautiful blonde haired courtesan with a sweet giggle and radiant smile fed me fruit like I was a Roman Emperor, while sharing tales with me of how she has fared since we last met.
*thumpthumpthumpthumpthump*
Then - if that weren’t enough - after being so generous with her “treatments” and affections, she “low-balled” her own gift request to the point that it was actually unfair. I have more flaws than I care to enumerate (I would guess there is a pretty full list on the ladies’ forums)… but “ingrate” isn’t one of them.
Shame she isn’t here much. This place… heck, ANY place… would be far better off with more Sandi Laines.
Happy thumping, all!
