There's always a new member asking for advice on how to hire their first escort, but they rarely ask if they should. I figure I put together my take on the whole thing so I can link as a reference for future use. Some things you need to consider before you hire your first escort.
I want to bang hot bitches.
Escorts are professionals, and deserve respect. If your first thought is they'll open their legs just because you have their fee, you shouldn't be doing this. You don't have to wine and dine providers, but you need to show them respect, appreciation and manners. If you lack the social perspective to see providers as anything but "hot bitches" save yourself the trouble and money. You'll just end up on a blacklist.
I am in my 20's.
If you're younger than 30 you shouldn't be spending money on escorts. There's plenty of other things you can be spending money on. Go travel, start a business, start a band, write a book, learn how to cook, grow your career, etc,. More importantly, you're at an age where you can still develop the social skills where you won't need to hire escorts. Go learn some game, make some mistakes, meet people. This is the time where you can try things, and look back and say "I gave it my best try."
I want to lose my virginity.
I understand why this can be seen as a big milestone, but it's not an important one. Your first beer will unlikely be the one you think of fondly. It won't likely be your second, third, or fourth either. The same with sex. You'll remember your first time, but it won't be the only that you'll think back on automatically with a smile. It's the company that makes sex special, not the actual act. Find someone that likes you and wants to help you experience and learn what sex and intimacy is about and can become. Hiring a sex worker to be your first is a thing, but there's no rush in it. They can be understanding if you experience nervousness, pre mature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, etc,. But you're a class N driver, who's never taken a curve before. Don't expect it to be mind-blowing, just expect to make it past the finish line. (That's a lot of metaphors!)
I want to be with another woman before I marry.
Flat out don't. I will tell you empathically that in this situation it is much better not to know, than to potentially risk your relationship over it. You can have one, or the other but do not try to mix the two. You will be presented with similar options and temptations throughout the lifetime of your relationship. Commit wholeheartedly, or don't commit at all.
I want to experience X, Y and Z.
If there is fantasy you have that you just can't imagine being able to get without a professional, like threesomes, sloppy orals, pegging, specific builds, nationalities, or races. Go for it. But be honest with yourself if it is truly a one time thing. Hiring escorts can be a slippery slope, and can escalate very quickly. Do it If you think you can get in, be satisfied, and walk away. I myself in the beginning always wanted to experience a threesome, and for my first time I hired two ladies, and afterwards I thought "Well that was nice." and thought that was that. Years later, I'm writing guides for an escort review board.
Can I afford this?
Hiring providers is expensive. An hour with an escort is the same cost as a overnight hotel room in Rome. If you plan on making this a regular thing you need to learn budgeting and impulse control. It becomes easy to fall in to the trap of just seeing providers without consideration on what it means to your own bottom line. At the end of the day, you still have rent, and responsibilities to attend to first.
Am I emotionally mature enough?
This is the important one. Really consider if you want to do this. Once this door is open, it's very hard to close, and it will alter your perception on sex and intimacy. Maybe for the better, maybe for the worse. Giving this up is harder than you might think. You'll find more than a few members on this board who are sex addicts, and seeing escorts has become an overwhelming portion of their lives (I include myself in this statement). If you know you have an addictive personality, or know that you can be needy emotionally, I suggest you get that sorted out first. Therapy, meditation, whatever. Get that sorted out first. It's also very possible to develop feelings for providers. I find that guys place more value on sex than women realize, and seeing a provider repeatedly it's easy to start developing the fantasy that more is happening. There are loads of threads that discuss it. If you don't have the emotional strength to recognize infatuation, or control it, seeing providers is not for you.
Coda
Though this might sound hypocritical, I myself do just love meeting and experiencing intimacy with women that I would never be able to in "real life". I'm old, in a racial minority, lacking in charm, intelligence, and looks. Financially stable but not enough for it to factor in to dating. That and everyone in my dating pool is a divorcee with at least two kids. Seeing sex workers is a thrill, low lift when compared to dating, and after all this time god I do still love sex. This is from the perspective of someone who has done this for a lot of years, and really if I think about it, would have appreciated someone slapping me in the face before I phoned that agency those many years ago.
I want to bang hot bitches.
Escorts are professionals, and deserve respect. If your first thought is they'll open their legs just because you have their fee, you shouldn't be doing this. You don't have to wine and dine providers, but you need to show them respect, appreciation and manners. If you lack the social perspective to see providers as anything but "hot bitches" save yourself the trouble and money. You'll just end up on a blacklist.
I am in my 20's.
If you're younger than 30 you shouldn't be spending money on escorts. There's plenty of other things you can be spending money on. Go travel, start a business, start a band, write a book, learn how to cook, grow your career, etc,. More importantly, you're at an age where you can still develop the social skills where you won't need to hire escorts. Go learn some game, make some mistakes, meet people. This is the time where you can try things, and look back and say "I gave it my best try."
I want to lose my virginity.
I understand why this can be seen as a big milestone, but it's not an important one. Your first beer will unlikely be the one you think of fondly. It won't likely be your second, third, or fourth either. The same with sex. You'll remember your first time, but it won't be the only that you'll think back on automatically with a smile. It's the company that makes sex special, not the actual act. Find someone that likes you and wants to help you experience and learn what sex and intimacy is about and can become. Hiring a sex worker to be your first is a thing, but there's no rush in it. They can be understanding if you experience nervousness, pre mature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, etc,. But you're a class N driver, who's never taken a curve before. Don't expect it to be mind-blowing, just expect to make it past the finish line. (That's a lot of metaphors!)
I want to be with another woman before I marry.
Flat out don't. I will tell you empathically that in this situation it is much better not to know, than to potentially risk your relationship over it. You can have one, or the other but do not try to mix the two. You will be presented with similar options and temptations throughout the lifetime of your relationship. Commit wholeheartedly, or don't commit at all.
I want to experience X, Y and Z.
If there is fantasy you have that you just can't imagine being able to get without a professional, like threesomes, sloppy orals, pegging, specific builds, nationalities, or races. Go for it. But be honest with yourself if it is truly a one time thing. Hiring escorts can be a slippery slope, and can escalate very quickly. Do it If you think you can get in, be satisfied, and walk away. I myself in the beginning always wanted to experience a threesome, and for my first time I hired two ladies, and afterwards I thought "Well that was nice." and thought that was that. Years later, I'm writing guides for an escort review board.
Can I afford this?
Hiring providers is expensive. An hour with an escort is the same cost as a overnight hotel room in Rome. If you plan on making this a regular thing you need to learn budgeting and impulse control. It becomes easy to fall in to the trap of just seeing providers without consideration on what it means to your own bottom line. At the end of the day, you still have rent, and responsibilities to attend to first.
Am I emotionally mature enough?
This is the important one. Really consider if you want to do this. Once this door is open, it's very hard to close, and it will alter your perception on sex and intimacy. Maybe for the better, maybe for the worse. Giving this up is harder than you might think. You'll find more than a few members on this board who are sex addicts, and seeing escorts has become an overwhelming portion of their lives (I include myself in this statement). If you know you have an addictive personality, or know that you can be needy emotionally, I suggest you get that sorted out first. Therapy, meditation, whatever. Get that sorted out first. It's also very possible to develop feelings for providers. I find that guys place more value on sex than women realize, and seeing a provider repeatedly it's easy to start developing the fantasy that more is happening. There are loads of threads that discuss it. If you don't have the emotional strength to recognize infatuation, or control it, seeing providers is not for you.
Coda
Though this might sound hypocritical, I myself do just love meeting and experiencing intimacy with women that I would never be able to in "real life". I'm old, in a racial minority, lacking in charm, intelligence, and looks. Financially stable but not enough for it to factor in to dating. That and everyone in my dating pool is a divorcee with at least two kids. Seeing sex workers is a thrill, low lift when compared to dating, and after all this time god I do still love sex. This is from the perspective of someone who has done this for a lot of years, and really if I think about it, would have appreciated someone slapping me in the face before I phoned that agency those many years ago.
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