Guide for the inexperienced

[shyboy123]

Hi all, first off I think its great that everyone on both sides of this industry are communicating in this forum. I stumbled across it and think it is a real help.

Forgive me if this is posted in the wrong place or there is already a bunch of threads about this, but I have some questions from a novice (yeah that's me) and I was hoping some would take the time to guide me in the right direction.

I just recently joined with my first experience, and I honestly think I am addicted now. I see how making this a regular thing would be great.

I understand that when selecting someone you need to use a combination of taste, research, spidey sense, and common sense.

So let's assume I have found a couple of good matches for me and one is available.

For an incall - what should I watch out for? I think I could handle just getting ripped off by someone taking my money and not providing what was promised. That is probably a risk that everyone is taking and although it would be lame, not my biggest worry. I am a bit nervous about reading some of the sketchy experiences about some dude in the other room etc.. Do the incalls have just ladies there or is there always some guy lurking around and you are just taking your chances it is not going to bad? What about neighbors or LE? I am really concerned about getting harrassed or my photo taken etc. by irate neigbors. I also do not understand the law much about what to do if confronted in or around the location. Is it better to do an independant with their own place or hotel, or an agency with a place of their own? What is the difference?

Another thought I had was doing kind of a two stage process - Asking the girl to meet right near their place for a tea/coffee or whatever just to meet. 100 bucks with no obligation, just to chat, and if there is chemistry then we could proceed to their actual incall location for the full regular price on top of the intro. Do you think that would fly? I thought it would give them a low-risk way for me to make sure what I was getting into was OK. Is that a waste of their time or do they generally prefer not to meet in public?

OK sorry this turned into way too many questions, but your thoughts/advice would be appreciated.

 

[itooam1]

I say if its your first time go with someone well reviewed in your price range..
Second ,i wouldnt offer a woman money for coffee/tea/drink..there are some who will talk to you through pm, email or phone....and truth be told i think alot of men get nervious, just be honest and selective...use spidey sense .
Good luck.....

 

[newtothis]

I say if its your first time go with someone well reviewed in your price range..
Second ,i wouldnt offer a woman money for coffee/tea/drink..there are some who will talk to you through pm, email or phone....and truth be told i think alot of men get nervious, just be honest and selective...use spidey sense .
Good luck.....

Shyboy123,

Like itooam1 said, best thing to do is go with someone well reviewed, can't go wrong there. Don't be scared to ask questions, you'll usually get the answers you're looking for from most on the board (the search function is great, but I find just lurking is great for getting a lot of good info).

With the whole "take the lady out for coffee/etc" for a fee, not something I would offer up, but there are some ladies (if not most) that will charge a "social" hourly rate in addition to the regular playtime rate. Like itooam1 said, best thing to do is just PM or phone the lady, save yourself some coin.

Good luck... I know when I found this site, I got hooked...

 

[FortunateOne]

After having read your post, many PERBerts would most likely think you were born yesterday but I would disagree with that. I think you were born only two seconds ago.

Are you planning to go out on a date with your SP and eventually marry her or are you just meeting her for paid sex? My God, man!

You're okay with someone just ripping you off and taking your money? Really? Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure? Could you give me $1000, please? In return I will give you absolutely nothing. Are you cool with that?

There's a guy lurking in the next room? I've had one incall session with a great lady at her condo (it was my second session with her; the first was in my hotel room) and she agreed to see me in her condo for an incall simply because she liked me and said I was really funny and so much fun the first time we were in a session. And no, there was no muscle-bound goon lurking in the next room ready to knock me unconscious and take my money and dismember me and throw my body into the North Saskatchewan River.

Why would law enforcement (LE) care whether you see an escort for paid sex? It's not illegal to have sex with an escort SO LONG AS SHE IS LICENSED.

You want to talk with her in public over coffee and see if there's chemistry between the two of you before you proceed to her place for paid sex? Discussing paid sex with an escort in a public place is ILLEGAL, man. You want to pay her $100 to have cofee with you? What is WRONG with you?

In Edmonton, she will (or should be) licensed but the OP is in Vancouver. It is not a concern, nor should he worry about any of the other things. Insist on a phone conversation to put your mind at ease. Do not suggest that the only way you will book an appt is if she will meet you outside of her incall. She provides incalls so she doesn't have to go outside lol. Also, as spermy mentions, you would NOT be able to discuss ANYTHING outside anyway, so what is the point. Most sps who work indoors would consider you a WOT if you make this suggestion, just as a way to waste their time, get a look at them but never come over and meet them. Anything that takes them outside for you to "have a look" is a waste of their time, a red flag to them that you might be someone they would rather not have to deal with.

This activity has been going on for ages, and for the most part even when there is an Igor in the next room you either don't know it so it don't hurt you, or the scenario is a lot of bluster and noise in order to get you to leave without getting any service, sans $$$. I don't think anyone has ever actually been assaulted in the reports where this scam goes on, but maybe they just haven't posted that info.

Those who are too new and too nervous should just make appts with well-reviewed sps, no matter if the cost is lower or higher until they get their feet wet. After that, you will get more comfortable making your own decisions based on the things that you personally like the best.

 

[Miss*Bijou]

I'm sure you'll get a lot of info from Perb, but if you feel like taking a look at some online resources:


Dear Client. Manual intended for clients of sex workers
http://www.chezstella.org/stella/?q=en/tools

This guide is addressed to you, a regular client or one that is preparing for your first visit with a sex worker. We wanted to respond to your questions to demystify our work so that you can have a better understanding of our limits and who we are. We have included information on the types of services offered by sex workers. By knowing what you want, it will be easier for you to express your needs and to negociate an agreement with a sex worker.

In this guide you will also find advice and practical tips on appropriate behaviour with a sex worker. We ask you to be respectful and that you respect the rules of the game and the agreement that you make. We ask you to respect our limits and we demand you not to be violent with us. We insist that you respect the dignity of all sex workers. Finally, we have included information on STIs (sexually transmissible infections). We hope that this information will help you to understand the importance of protecting yourself against infections. The client guide is available online.




The Client's corner of this sex work website has some good info.




Information on Prostitution in Canada: The LAW




More newbie info HERE and HERE.

And HERE.

Oh OK... HERE and THERE too.

 

[Holly Taylor]

I think your concerns are extremely valid. There is so little recourse for a client if something goes wrong. The quasi-legal status of prostitution causes problems for both clients and sex workers. Both clients and sex workers are at risk from being ripped off, physically assaulted, robbed, etc.

If you want to avoid unpleasant situations, the only suggestion I have is to see ladies who have already been well reviewed. However, this can be frustrating if you want to see ladies who aren't reviewed.

 

[itooam1]

OP......i guess its never to early to learn, some people on this site are wind bags. They dont have anything helpful to add ,yet chime in anyways.So dont take it personally.

Again best of luck to you.

 

[magicmystery]

I also do not understand the law much about what to do if confronted in or around the location.

I'd be quite interested in receiving tips for dealing with a situation like that.

 

[Rotcod]

All I can suggest is read the reviews here before taking the plunge. Not only will it give you an idea of who to see, but it will also give you an idea on certain on how to conduct yourself when you do see someone. Also, if you do find a lady you wish to see, check if she has a website, (most of the popular ladies do). That will give you an idea of the lady's personality as well as answer any questions you may have.

 

[shyboy123]

Thanks!

Yeah I know pretty naive questions from a newbie - sorry if I came across as a complete moron, I just really have no idea how things work yet, so I thought best to ask the experts. I really appreciate all the feedback and answers. I'll let you know how it works out!

All the best

 

[trackstar]

Yeah I know pretty naive questions from a newbie - sorry if I came across as a complete moron, I just really have no idea how things work yet, so I thought best to ask the experts. I really appreciate all the feedback and answers. I'll let you know how it works out!

All the best

The best way to know is to ask. Ignore the B.S.

 

[anatoli]

What about clock time?

Does a 1hr appointment start when you're in the door - until you're out the door? IE: it includes showers before and after (making only 45 min of playtime.)

Or, greet, donation, shower, 1hr fun, shower, leave = 1hr appointment, (probably 1hr 15 min on the clock)

 

[moi]

What about clock time?

Does a 1hr appointment start when you're in the door - until you're out the door? IE: it includes showers before and after (making only 45 min of playtime.)

Or, greet, donation, shower, 1hr fun, shower, leave = 1hr appointment, (probably 1hr 15 min on the clock)

That really depends on who the SP is, and where it is. Some MP bosses are strict with the 1hr rule and will fine the girl if she goes overtime. Some SPs don't look at the clock too much, indies are possibly more flexible. Not sure as I've never booked a session with an indie vs. MP (lol!)

Usually a 1hr appointment starts when you agree on a price, etc. Although, most guys won't use a full hour for playtime, there is shower, chit chat, massage, etc.

 

[blazejowski]

Best tip you'll ever receive from this place is to do your research... check the girl's reviews, and you will rarely be steered wrong...

 

[shyboy123]

Thanks

Thanks again for the tips and advice. It sure helps. I am sure more guys would enlist the services of a pro if they knew all the intel and dos and donts. There is way to many misconceptions out there based on what I have read here so far. Kinda cool to see both sides interact on the forums too.

 

[Violet]

Originally Posted by shyboy123:
I also do not understand the law much about what to do if confronted in or around the location.

I'd be quite interested in receiving tips for dealing with a situation like that.

Hmm, I don't know much about how to deal with such a situation, because it rarely ever happens. Usually something like that would only happen if you were solicting sex from a streetwalker, or possibly going to a massage parlour that was ilegal & under investigation. The cops, especially here in BC, (where I assume you're located?), have better things to do than harass clients for going to an independent SP or to an agency. Whether they require the SP to have a license depends on municipality, for example Victoria & most major Alberta cities do require SPs to have a license. I am pretty sure that all agencies are required to have a license, even in Vancouver, (they are a business after all), but correct me if I'm wrong about this. However, whether or not an independent SP has a license doesn't really affect you as a client, or determine whether you are going to get "busted" by the cops, I believe it would only affect her & determine whether she is working legally or not. An independent SP who is discreetly working out of an apartment/condo is probably your best bet if you're worried about discretion. If someone is working out of a house it is more likely to be obvious to the neighbours, who might glare at you or worse, or complain to the police. Many MPs or agencies are somewhat less discreet, since they have so much traffic coming & going they may be publicly known to be an MP or agency. You can always research the discretion of a particular location here on PERB. But regardless, police are not going to bother you in BC if you are seeing an indie or an agency girl at a reputable agency. They probably would rarely bother you at the MPs either, unless that MP is known to be a front for gambling, drug dealing, human traffiking, etc.

My advice, if it ever did happen that you were questioned by the police while going in or out of an incall location, would be to not say anything incriminating & just say you were visiting a friend or something, they'd likely let you go with a warning. If you were somehow caught red-handed, just stick to the story that you were paying for the ladie's time & companionship only. That is not illegal, whatever you did during that time as two consenting adults is between you & her.

Also, for anyone who is really worried about the legalities of seeing escorts, it is worth it to research the law & simply avoid doing anything illegal in the first place. Don't discuss the transaction in public is the main rule. Technically this includes if you are on your cell phone in a public place.



As to the OP's question about whether it's a good idea to meet the SP for "coffee" first, in my opinion it's not, as many SPs would not do this since it's a popular tactic used by guys who just want to get a look at the girl & are not going to actually pay her or show up for the appointment. Secondly, (especially if they live in Alberta), they may also think it's a trap by the cops, to get them to discuss the transaction in public. Thirdly, the SPs who will do this kind of thing will charge you for it, & usually rates for "social calls" are higher than what many clients expect. If you want to get to know her a bit first, or have any questions for her, talk to her on the phone or by email. Another option is booking a "consultation", a social appointment, or a shorter appointment in her incall location, rather than in public. If she doesn't offer consultations or social calls, many ladies have 1/2 hour rates or massage rates, perhaps you could try a shorter appt when seeing an SP for the first time.
Good luck!

 

[magicmystery]

My advice, if it ever did happen that you were questioned by the police while going in or out of an incall location, would be to not say anything incriminating & just say you were visiting a friend or something, they'd likely let you go with a warning. If you were somehow caught red-handed, just stick to the story that you were paying for the ladie's time & companionship only. That is not illegal, whatever you did during that time as two consenting adults is between you & her.

Thanks a lot for insightful response. But I think if I ever was in a situation like that, I'd find it hard to say something like this with a straight-face. I mean, it is obvious what I paid for and if I say something like 'I only paid for her time', I am basically 'daring' the officer. He/she might then take offense and really try to find something to bust my ass or take me downtown.