Good Comebacks

[BDAClub]

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing".

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there



This one was for the women

 

[hitrack]

Man: Get the fukks outt the car you gots diarrhea at the mouth again.
Woman: ........I dunno what the crazy broad even said because I'm sippin a big brew with my tunes cranked and I'm 1/2 way down to the track.

 

[charles]

"Oh yeah? The jerk store called and they're running outta you..."

 

[Rubber Man Hood]

If I wanted a come back I'd scrape the back of your throat.

 

[rambler6]

Dancing

Years ago at a club I walked up to a lady and asked her to dance. She looks me up and down and says "I don't think so".

My reply, "Don't be so picky, I wasn't".

Threw her drink at me but I seen it coming and stepped out of the way. Think the club was Twilight Zone. Anyone remember that place.

 

[captnsavaho]

cb

Woman= "I heard you have a small noodle dick"
Man= "Tell you what hun, I'll unzip and take out just enough to satisfy you- and so I don't scare you, I leave the rest curled up in my jeans!"