giving & receiving references

[Cinnamon Girl]

How do the rest of the perb.erts out there handle references?? Within a year, two?? Easiest way of doing it??

I will promptly reply to references. I just ask that the gentleman to send me a quick PM or email & refresh me on our time together -location, aprox date, a little detail so I recall who he is. Also have the SPs name/email address so I can confirm with her. or provide her with the details when she contacts me.

gina

 

[Penhold]

I just ask that the gentleman to send me a quick PM or email & refresh me on our time together -location, aprox date, a little detail so I recall who he is.
gina

But..but...but...you mean we don't give you such an earth-shattering orgasm and such a great time that you've fallen in love with us so that we're in your memory forever?

Oh my. There goes the fantasy.

In case any SP asks you for a reference about me, I'm sure you'll remember me. After all, I'm the fat, old, bald guy who saw you last summer. You said you had a great time. Boy, if that doesn't narrow it down and help jog the memory... bwaaa...ha..ha..ha..ha. . LOL LOL LOL.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

 

[Sunset]

Privacy and Discretion

I don't think the personal information about you will be used to judge sexual prowess or looks but rather to give the SP a sense of safety/control during the session. Due to the fact the reference was at your request and approval, it now becomes the property of the receiver to use as they see fit.

Recently more and more gentlemen have been the subject of gossip regarding their confidential affairs (family, employment, etc.) by SP's. Do you guys really want your personal affairs and encounters with a SP to become subject to public scrutiny?

Remember once that sensitive information about you has been fired off to another SP you have lost complete control of how it is will be used. It's like the firing of a bullet from a gun, once its been discharged you can't bring it back.

There's plenty of other ways that are available for ladies to use to get a handle on a man's potential behavior or to judge intimate compatibility with them (e.g., email, pre-meeting in a public place and/or phone conversation).

 

[Penhold]

I don't think the personal information about you will be used to judge sexual prowess or looks but rather to give the SP a sense of safety/control during the session. Due to the fact the reference was at your request and approval, it now becomes the property of the receiver to use as they see fit.

Recently more and more gentlemen have been the subject of gossip regarding their confidential affairs (family, employment, etc.) by SP's. Do you guys really want your personal affairs and encounters with a SP to become subject to public scrutiny?

Remember once that sensitive information about you has been fired off to another SP you have lost complete control of how it is will be used. It's like the firing of a bullet from a gun, once its been discharged you can't bring it back.

There's plenty of other ways that are available for ladies to use to get a handle on a man's potential behavior or to judge intimate compatibility with them (e.g., email, pre-meeting in a public place and/or phone conversation).

You're bang on in the first part of your message - safety and security.

I don't think the references SPs want have anything to do with the client's personal information. Depending on where the SP is located, it's usually a way to pre-screen potential clients to remove the risk of LE (remember, not all places are as liberal-minded as Vancouver), rip-offs and just plain a**holes.

Given the nature of the business and the desire of SPs for safety and discretion, when an SP wants some references it's usually limited to trying to learn things like the following:

1. Is this a legitimate client or LE?
2. Is he a "gentleman" and respectful of SPs?
3. Will he try to rip you off?
4. Will he push for extra services not usually offered?
5. Will he try to whip the cover off during doggie?
6. Is he clean? Have bad breath? Will he take a shower?
7. Is he a nutcase?

Most SPs would limit the information/references they give for a client to this type of information. Unfortunately, there's lots of guys out there who are not the nice, loving, cuddly wonderfully respectful guys like (most of) those who post on PERB.

Most good SPs will keep personal information private. But, since there's nothing but trust to prevent an SP from chatting/gossipping about you, the simple rule to follow is never divulge personal information to an SP unless you trust her completely. If you see an SP who talks to you about her other clients, then it's likely she'll talk about you as well. If you see an SP who never talks about other clients even when you try to pry them for information, then they'll likely also respect your privacy. Even then, clients should beware of what they do divulge since an SP even with the best intentions might inadvertently let something slip that she intended to divulge.

Of course, common sense says that if a client is going to give a past SP as a reference he would first pre-clear it with the previous SP and discuss with her what is and is not appropriate to say about the client.

Penhold
_____________________________--
[Penhold's note to self: Stop giving SPs copy of driver's licence, social insurance number and blank signed cheques to hold as "security". And stop giving out details of the Swiss Bank Account and password].

 

[Lady Companion]

While I have absolutely no problem in providing references (in fact I do encourage all ladies to work in that manner), I do have specific guidelines I follow when providing them.

I will only provide a reference to a lady or agency which I either know personally, or which has a public, verifiable reference. I take great caution to ensure I don't inadvertently verify anything to a wife, girlfriend, paparazzi or media. And yes, I do know of instances where they have gone to the extent to build websites and actually advertise prior to seeking the reference.

The gentleman also has to CALL me to inform me which lady will possibly be seeking his verification. I will not provide a reference for gentleman unless he gives me very recent consent to do so. Even then, the reference will only be given for the lady/ladies he has requested I provide it to. The only exception would be if he was dangerous, a thief, or a time waster (no show). In those instances, I will provide an explanation to the lady without his consent.

I don't share very personal information with any of the ladies. We obviously already both have his full name, phone number, and likely his address and place of work. What transpired between us is private, and really doesn't need to be shared with anybody else.

We are here to protect another, to ensure that the psychos, time wasters and other undesirables aren't able to continue in their ways. However, discretion is also of paramount importance, and no reputable lady would ever breech that trust.

I don't personally have a time limit on how long ago our last visit would have been. I will let the lady know though approximately how long it has been, and of course mention that my reference is simply based on my experience with him at the time. And while I certainly don't have a revolving door - and am therefore able to remember quite vividly most gentleman I have seen over the years - I don't keep any official records. Therefore, if it has indeed been a long time - and we have only met on a few occasions, there is the possibility that I will not remember. My screening used to be much more lax, and as such, there are clients from the beginning whose real names I wasn't aware of. I would much rather simply say that I am unable to properly verify a gentleman than provide a false sense of security for another lady.