I suffer from a lack of sensitivity so it doesn't do that much for me, other than the psychological factor of course. I get much more enjoyment from kissing, cuddling and all manner of foreplay.
Gaffes, mishaps, and bloopers
- Thread starter Sporting
- Start date
Our recent snowfall reminded me about an incident a few years ago.
I had a two hour date booked for 10 AM and one block away I had a biz meeting set for 1 pm.
There were no paid lots within 6 blocks so I just took my time circling the block looking for street parking. Finally a space opened right in front of my meeting at 1 pm.
Then a fairly big chev suv darted in front of me to take the spot. I thought with the size of the spot and the ice on the road there was a good chance this guy would fail to get his suv parked.
I didn’t honk or act impatient as I watched him fail 3x to park in the spot. Finally he gave up and I parked in the spot. He parked in the alley beside the office and gave me stink eye when walking past me.
I just said ‘ya win some, you lose some’ to which he made a gruff answer.
I headed to the date and afterwards walked to my biz appointment. The engineers had asked their GM to sit in on the meeting. He turned out to be the parking space guy. I visibly slumped in my chair shaking my head knowing I had that sinking feeling this guy was gonna be trouble. I gave my presentation and answered all their questions. When leaving I asked them when an order would be happening? The engineers said they were happy but the final decision was their managers. As he was walking out all he said was ‘you win some, you lose some’. Fuck!
I eventually got the order but this guy really dragged his heals signing off on it.
I had a two hour date booked for 10 AM and one block away I had a biz meeting set for 1 pm.
There were no paid lots within 6 blocks so I just took my time circling the block looking for street parking. Finally a space opened right in front of my meeting at 1 pm.
Then a fairly big chev suv darted in front of me to take the spot. I thought with the size of the spot and the ice on the road there was a good chance this guy would fail to get his suv parked.
I didn’t honk or act impatient as I watched him fail 3x to park in the spot. Finally he gave up and I parked in the spot. He parked in the alley beside the office and gave me stink eye when walking past me.
I just said ‘ya win some, you lose some’ to which he made a gruff answer.
I headed to the date and afterwards walked to my biz appointment. The engineers had asked their GM to sit in on the meeting. He turned out to be the parking space guy. I visibly slumped in my chair shaking my head knowing I had that sinking feeling this guy was gonna be trouble. I gave my presentation and answered all their questions. When leaving I asked them when an order would be happening? The engineers said they were happy but the final decision was their managers. As he was walking out all he said was ‘you win some, you lose some’. Fuck!
I eventually got the order but this guy really dragged his heals signing off on it.
Actually I had one more interesting story. My running shoes were these skate shoes that had some holes in them. It was a particularly rainy day when I had a massage appointment with someone near English bay. Turns out the incall was this older building away from the downtown area so I had to walk a bit. My feet got totally soaked on the way.
Now I anticipated this and brought an extra pair of dry socks. But as my shoes were drying out in the foyer I was thinking how useless it would be to put my shoes on. So after the 90 min massage session I manned up and told her about my shoes. So she gave me some plastic shopping bags. I wrapped my dry socks and stood in her kitchen like a homeless man for a bit. It still makes me chuckle. Also on the way to the incall I saw a different sp in civilian mode and she looked so beautiful.
Now I anticipated this and brought an extra pair of dry socks. But as my shoes were drying out in the foyer I was thinking how useless it would be to put my shoes on. So after the 90 min massage session I manned up and told her about my shoes. So she gave me some plastic shopping bags. I wrapped my dry socks and stood in her kitchen like a homeless man for a bit. It still makes me chuckle. Also on the way to the incall I saw a different sp in civilian mode and she looked so beautiful.
A number of years ago my son was in a basketball tournament that he did not tell me about. So I like to plan well in advance and had booked a date with a lady I had long wanted to see.
So the tournament happens and of course it’s all around the day/time of the date. Ugh. As luck happens it appears that there is no conflict so it’s business as usual with some driving. I go to said date and meet this lady and we are having a good time. And I hear my phone buzz. I ignore it. Buzzes a few more times, just texts.
Eventually it’s the ring buzz and I ignore once then it’s constant and we are in a pretty intimate point quite enjoying ourselves. So I pull myself away saying ‘something must be up, better check this’ and answer phone.
It’s my kid and he’s freaking out- ‘Dad, they switched games we play in 1 hour where the hell are you?’ (He was 15).
There I am buck naked in a bedroom, full erection, a bit sweaty and out of breath with a gorgeous lady lying on the bed a bit perplexed trying to figure out my options. I’m supposed to pick up two other guys for game.
luckily they have to be there in an hour not play so I say I’ll be there soon- just wrapping up.
‘Bruh, come on dad’.
I get off phone and say ‘I’m really sorry but at the risk of being vulgar and crass I would really like to fuck like a maniac as I have no idea when I’d be able to see you again but I have to go deal with my kid and a rescheduled basketball game’.
She laughed said some incredibly hot motivating things to me and I was out the door in 7 minutes, showered.
Gave her a big tip and at the door she gave me the sweetest kiss and said ‘family first, that’s hot’.
So the tournament happens and of course it’s all around the day/time of the date. Ugh. As luck happens it appears that there is no conflict so it’s business as usual with some driving. I go to said date and meet this lady and we are having a good time. And I hear my phone buzz. I ignore it. Buzzes a few more times, just texts.
Eventually it’s the ring buzz and I ignore once then it’s constant and we are in a pretty intimate point quite enjoying ourselves. So I pull myself away saying ‘something must be up, better check this’ and answer phone.
It’s my kid and he’s freaking out- ‘Dad, they switched games we play in 1 hour where the hell are you?’ (He was 15).
There I am buck naked in a bedroom, full erection, a bit sweaty and out of breath with a gorgeous lady lying on the bed a bit perplexed trying to figure out my options. I’m supposed to pick up two other guys for game.
luckily they have to be there in an hour not play so I say I’ll be there soon- just wrapping up.
‘Bruh, come on dad’.
I get off phone and say ‘I’m really sorry but at the risk of being vulgar and crass I would really like to fuck like a maniac as I have no idea when I’d be able to see you again but I have to go deal with my kid and a rescheduled basketball game’.
She laughed said some incredibly hot motivating things to me and I was out the door in 7 minutes, showered.
Gave her a big tip and at the door she gave me the sweetest kiss and said ‘family first, that’s hot’.
Have you tried Viagra?
I can get very hard without Viagra if properly stimulated, but have difficulty maintaining an erection without Viagra. Probably would not need it if fucking a 10/10 the very first time, but doesn't happen very often lol.
JD
Another comic string:
I went to SVIPs for the first time a few years ago. I knew parking might be an issue so left early and luckily found a spot not too far away. Coolly and discretely went to the parking meter…and it wouldn’t take my card!
Another guy parked after me comes up “is it not working? How does it work?” A few more attempts. Then a city parking guy stops by “Oh, try this technique!” Then he points me to another meter and explains how the metering system works in downtown Victoria. All very interesting but now I’m 5 fkn minutes late! AND not quite so cool or discrete anymore…
So I finally pay, walk (not run, don’t need any MORE attention!) towards the agency. Right before I turn in, a couple Yank tourists stop me “Excuse me, where’s the tourist section for Victoria??”
im like “THE WHOLE FKN CITY IS A TOURIST SECTION!!!!” But I don’t want to make a scene so I calmly point them towards Fan Tan Alley, where I hope they get run over by Mel Gibson and Goldie Hawn filming “Bird on a Wire: The Remake”…F&$@!
By this time, I’m 10+ minutes late. I text them to let them know, knock on the door, andmy date and receptionist let me in, all laughing at the hurdles I had to pass, lol!
(the date was amazing , so well worth the effort in the end, lol!)
I went to SVIPs for the first time a few years ago. I knew parking might be an issue so left early and luckily found a spot not too far away. Coolly and discretely went to the parking meter…and it wouldn’t take my card!
Another guy parked after me comes up “is it not working? How does it work?” A few more attempts. Then a city parking guy stops by “Oh, try this technique!” Then he points me to another meter and explains how the metering system works in downtown Victoria. All very interesting but now I’m 5 fkn minutes late! AND not quite so cool or discrete anymore…
So I finally pay, walk (not run, don’t need any MORE attention!) towards the agency. Right before I turn in, a couple Yank tourists stop me “Excuse me, where’s the tourist section for Victoria??”
im like “THE WHOLE FKN CITY IS A TOURIST SECTION!!!!” But I don’t want to make a scene so I calmly point them towards Fan Tan Alley, where I hope they get run over by Mel Gibson and Goldie Hawn filming “Bird on a Wire: The Remake”…F&$@!
By this time, I’m 10+ minutes late. I text them to let them know, knock on the door, andmy date and receptionist let me in, all laughing at the hurdles I had to pass, lol!
(the date was amazing , so well worth the effort in the end, lol!)
It was frustrating at the time, but funny now. Was finishing with a lady at a condo downtown. I showered and got dressed and came out to find the lady at the door holding closed the dead lock with people outside trying to get in. Turns out it was the condo owners changing the locks as the rental was up but somehow the agency that subletted didn’t know. It was a no win situation, so I just asked her to open the door and I just left with people looking at us like, what was going on there? But I think they suspected….
A mishap with a happy ending:
Several years ago I was staying at the YVR Fairmont, and had time on my hands, and decided to pay a visit to Lady Via downtown. Although I thought I allowed adequate travel time, my taxi got caught in a traffic jam, and I felt my hour becoming a half hour, or even less, or even totally gone. When I arrived, I was greeted with "I was worried about you, and was afraid that you might have been involved in an accident." No reprimand for being late, and without a cell phone I had been unable to tell her about the delay. I must say, I regarded her to be a real class act when the time started from my actual arrival, and not from my booked time.
Several years ago I was staying at the YVR Fairmont, and had time on my hands, and decided to pay a visit to Lady Via downtown. Although I thought I allowed adequate travel time, my taxi got caught in a traffic jam, and I felt my hour becoming a half hour, or even less, or even totally gone. When I arrived, I was greeted with "I was worried about you, and was afraid that you might have been involved in an accident." No reprimand for being late, and without a cell phone I had been unable to tell her about the delay. I must say, I regarded her to be a real class act when the time started from my actual arrival, and not from my booked time.
Another funny mishap. I had made an appointment and it was to meet at a Langley motel. When I got there and knocked on the door, I could hear a man and woman in the room, but no answer. I texted the agency and no reply. I drove around for 15 minutes and texted them again, and they replied to try again. As I pulled into the parking lot, I saw a guy with a bunch or camera gear leaving the room. I waited till he drove off and knocked and she answered. Apparently, she was finishing a photo shoot and put her phone down and didn’t see the texts for the appointment. it was 1/2 late, but I decided to stay anyways.
I think we might feel them, but when the dick is in there, we just don’t give a shit that we feel them!
