Funny sex story!

[ComicalKazee]

Okay, I was discussing a funny story with co-workers a couple of days ago over a few beers after work. I had them falling out of their chairs with this! About 20 years ago, I was camping at West Hawk Lake, near the Ontario border in Manitoba with my then GF Teresa. After the campfire died and everybody went to their tents for the night, Teresa and I started getting frisky. Tried going two rounds but maybe it was the alcohol or the late hour..... we both fell asleep. About three hours later, I woke up, and realized I had to have a pee very quickly. Grabbing the tent's zipper to quickly open, it jammed. In the dim twilight of early dawn, it took several painful minutes before I solved this puzzle and opened the exit. Still in my gotch and barefoot, I realized it wasn't wise for a near naked man to run across the road to the outhouse. So behind the bush was the best option for me. Walking on tree roots, twigs was not comfortable, but in my state, funny, I did not even notice the discomfort until later. I tripped behind the bush, got up, practically tore off my gotch and started the waterworks. Immediately I recognized there was something horribly awry. A "balloon" on my dick became visible in the dawn's early light. Frantically, I tried removing the rubber as the immense pressure produced spraying..... all over my chest..... everywhere! Steam was coming off my body. My underwear was soaked! I was soaked in urine! I screamed! Just as I vocalized, I saw a woman in the next campsite open her camper door and dump a pot of water out onto the ground. We made eye contact at the same time. With the rubber finally off, and my heart racing, I ducked begind the bush. I peaked over a few seconds later. The camper door was shut but I saw the curtains open and two heads staring in curiosity. I ditched the gotch, and waited for the camper curtains to close. I sprinted back to the tent, stopping by the picnic table and doused myself with water from our water jug. It was so cold..... and the air temperature was only about 2 degrees C. I grabbed a towel off the clothesline, which was semi-damp and cold but offered a bit of comfort. I quickly jumped back into the tent to the comfort of my sleeping bag. With my teeth chattering for several minutes, Teresa awoke briefly, turned over, looked at me and said..... "What the fuck is wrong with you"? She turned over, and went back to sleep. She did not remember anything of the event. My heart rate returned to normal and I went back to sleep. I was wondering if it was just a dream when I woke up, but later I searched behind the bush, and found my discarded underwear. Needless to say, I left it there.

 

[PuntMeister]

Okay, I was discussing a funny story with co-workers a couple of days ago over a few beers after work. I had them falling out of their chairs with this! About 20 years ago, I was camping at West Hawk Lake, near the Ontario border in Manitoba with my then GF Teresa. After the campfire died and everybody went to their tents for the night, Teresa and I started getting frisky. Tried going two rounds but maybe it was the alcohol or the late hour..... we both fell asleep. About three hours later, I woke up, and realized I had to have a pee very quickly. Grabbing the tent's zipper to quickly open, it jammed. In the dim twilight of early dawn, it took several painful minutes before I solved this puzzle and opened the exit. Still in my gotch and barefoot, I realized it wasn't wise for a near naked man to run across the road to the outhouse. So behind the bush was the best option for me. Walking on tree roots, twigs was not comfortable, but in my state, funny, I did not even notice the discomfort until later. I tripped behind the bush, got up, practically tore off my gotch and started the waterworks. Immediately I recognized there was something horribly awry. A "balloon" on my dick became visible in the dawn's early light. Frantically, I tried removing the rubber as the immense pressure produced spraying..... all over my chest..... everywhere! Steam was coming off my body. My underwear was soaked! I was soaked in urine! I screamed! Just as I vocalized, I saw a woman in the next campsite open her camper door and dump a pot of water out onto the ground. We made eye contact at the same time. With the rubber finally off, and my heart racing, I ducked begind the bush. I peaked over a few seconds later. The camper door was shut but I saw the curtains open and two heads staring in curiosity. I ditched the gotch, and waited for the camper curtains to close. I sprinted back to the tent, stopping by the picnic table and doused myself with water from our water jug. It was so cold..... and the air temperature was only about 2 degrees C. I grabbed a towel off the clothesline, which was semi-damp and cold but offered a bit of comfort. I quickly jumped back into the tent to the comfort of my sleeping bag. With my teeth chattering for several minutes, Teresa awoke briefly, turned over, looked at me and said..... "What the fuck is wrong with you"? She turned over, and went back to sleep. She did not remember anything of the event. My heart rate returned to normal and I went back to sleep. I was wondering if it was just a dream when I woke up, but later I searched behind the bush, and found my discarded underwear. Needless to say, I left it there.

Ha, that's a good one. Sounds similar to my fave camping story when I was at some lake with my GF in eastern manitoba, and one morning my lady awakens me with "Punt, come here, you gotta see this!". There was some guy pretty much stark naked trying to inflate a condom by pissing in it! Fuck, that was funny! Ha. We just watched the back-fire spray from the comfort of our camper and then when he rinsed off and ducked back in his tent, we shagged for 2 hours! It was a funny morning indeed. Oh, sorry.

 

[badbadboy]

I had a coworker get busted by his wife when she found the condom in his underwear the next day.

I wish I was making it up since he couch surfed at my place for a wee bit too long.